Episode 11
Am I Confident?
Episode 11: Navigating the Journey of Self-Confidence
Welcome to The Mirror Project!
Welcome, wonderful listeners, to another enlightening episode of The Mirror Project! It is your hosts Christine and Alexandra, and we're thrilled to have you join us on this exploration into the depths of confidence. Today's discussion is one that resonates deeply with many of us – the elusive quest for self-assurance. So, buckle up as we embark on this journey together and uncover the secrets to embracing our inner confidence.
Stay Connected
Before we plunge into today's captivating topic, take a moment to show your support. Hit that like, subscribe, or follow button on your preferred listening platform – we'll be right here waiting for you!
Are We Currently Confident?
Let's kick things off by addressing the million-dollar question: Are we feeling confident right now, and if not, why? It's a journey we've both been on for what feels like a lifetime, and we're eager to delve deeper into our experiences. Inspired by a thought-provoking Instagram reel from Sophia Nichole (@sopianichole), we reflect on the societal pressures that dictate waiting for perfection before embracing confidence. How did this resonate with us? Did we see ourselves mirrored in her words?
Engage with Us on Socials
Want to stay connected and be part of the conversation? Follow us oon Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube. Let's continue this journey together!
Do We Work on It?
Christine shares invaluable insights on cultivating confidence, offering practical tips and exercises to empower our journey. From celebrating our wins to embracing self-respect and positive self-talk, there's no shortage of strategies to explore. Alexandra introduces us to a powerful TED Talk by Amy Cuddy, "Fake It Till You Make It," and discusses the transformative power of adopting confident body language. Plus, a compelling read recommendation from Dr. Carol Dweck's "Mindsets" to further fuel our quest for self-assurance. How do we commit to holding ourselves accountable on this journey? It's time to set intentions and make a pact to celebrate our progress every step of the way.
Closing Thoughts
As we wrap up today's discussion, we acknowledge that our exploration of self-confidence has only just begun. We invite you to share your thoughts on the reel and your experiences with waiting for the "perfect" moment to embrace confidence. Comment on this episode and join us next week as we welcome our second guest to the show for an engaging conversation on all things money! Until then, stay confident and keep shining!
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Join Us Next Time
Before we bid adieu, don’t forget to like, subscribe, or follow us on your preferred listening platform. We can't wait to catch you next time for another captivating episode of The Mirror Project! Until then, keep striving for confidence and embracing your unique journey!
Transcript
Hello, and welcome to The Mirror Project.
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:We are your host, Christine,
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:Alexandra: And Alexandra.
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:Christine: and we are so
glad you're joining us.
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:Today we'll be talking about that elusive
trait for some, or many, confidence.
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:I know I've been on a journey of
self confidence, it seems like
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:my whole life, and I sometimes
wonder if I will ever feel it.
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:Can anyone else relate?
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:Let's get started and see where
this conversation takes us.
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:Alexandra: Before we dive in today's
topic, like, subscribe, or follow us
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:on your preferred listening platform.
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:Go ahead, pause, and do
it now before you forget.
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:Don't worry, we won't
get started without you.
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:Christine: All right, Alexander, why
don't you kick us off and let us know
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:whether you feel confident and why.
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:Alexandra: Oh, wow.
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:Christine, you do not pull
the hard questions, do you?
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:Christine: No, I like to get right to it.
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:Alexandra: okay, let me
answer the first part of that.
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:Do I feel confident?
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:No, no, that's not a good question, but.
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:More often than not it's one of those
things that the moments where I probably
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:come off across confident It's where
my mouth stop starts talking before
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:my mind catches up So I don't really
have a chance to not be confident or
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:confident and it's just like oh, oh shit.
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:We're here.
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:Okay, we're doing this So
why don't I feel confident?
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:I feel like we're getting, getting into
things that I about with my therapist.
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:And honestly, that's been a
conversation recently in, in sessions.
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:It's, I feel like I play so much of
my value and worth and therefore how
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:confident I feel in other people's
opinions of me, which I think we've
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:established in this podcast is
probably not a great way in which
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:to operate, but yeah, it's kind of
where I'm at my journey right now.
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:I.
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:Want to be more confident.
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:I'm working towards that,
but do I feel confident now?
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:No.
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:So Christine, what about you?
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:I know briefly you talked
about it in the intro, but why
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:don't you feel so confident?
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:Christine: That's a very good question and
one I haven't really been able to answer.
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:And it's kind of, it's funny, right?
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:Cause like some days I feel like
I got it and I've, I don't know.
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:I, I, I think a lot of the time, similar
to you, Alexandra, I sometimes put a lot
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:of my worth in other people's opinions
of me, although I don't, Like, I don't
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:know if I consciously think that I do.
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:Cause it's not, I'll say this, It's
not so much like I care what people I
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:don't really have relationships with
think of me, like strangers or people
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:I, like, acquaintances, I couldn't care
less It more so lies in the people who
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:I love and care about the most, I think,
and it's because I don't want to ever
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:feel like I'm letting people down in
my life, but in a lot of ways I end up
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:letting myself down because it's either
I'm constantly overextending myself or
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:which It's happening a lot recently.
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:And I don't know I feel like I I'm
constantly worrying about other people
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:in my life, like those I love most in my
life, rather than caring about myself.
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:And I think it's, I don't
know, I don't really know why.
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:And it's something I've definitely want
to explore And I think I definitely
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:could use the help of a professional.
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:I'm currently not in therapy,
but I definitely think I could
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:seriously benefit from it.
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:I think a lot of people in my life
will tell me that I know everybody.
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:I know.
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:Alexandra: When you say that, I almost
think that Therapy is something that
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:anyone can benefit from, not because
something is wrong with somebody else,
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:but that it, it almost helps us be
the best versions of ourself, but also
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:better adjusted versions of ourself.
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:But yeah, I think I know that we've talked
about it and I'm like, yeah, if that's
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:something you want, I think you should
seek the counsel of a licensed therapist
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:because honestly it can only help.
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:And I know.
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:I think I've mentioned
this in previous episodes.
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:It can only help if you find the
right therapist that works for you.
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:And that's a process and it's taking
time to find someone that's a, a good
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:fit and that will call you on your
shit, but also empathize and sympathize
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:and go, yeah, that's really sucky.
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:How are we going to work on that?
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:I mean, like you don't want somebody
who's going to do more damage.
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:you want somebody who's going to
help you figure out The tools and
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:Christine: yeah,
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:And,
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:I think I just, sometimes I almost wonder,
I think I feel more confident in, in my
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:relationships than I am in, in myself.
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:I know I can confidently
be a good friend my
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:found family a supportive sister
and daughter But sometimes I
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:feel like, especially within the
last year I have struggled with
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:knowing my self worth and knowing.
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:Not that I'm what I'm capable of, but
there's really no other word for it.
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:Like having that confidence in myself.
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:So let's, let's see if we can
discover more as we talk today.
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:Alexandra: okay, again, for those of you
listening, this conversation did come
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:about from One of us sharing another
Instagram reel and Christine reminded
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:me that I think I shared this with her.
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:And this was one that came from
Sophia Nicole, and it looks like
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:she was set up on a spin bike.
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:So I'm guessing she's some,
Spin instructor for somebody.
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:And we'll share both the real
video itself for the link to
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:and Sophia Nicole's account.
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:So in the video and the real,
she says confidence is tricky
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:because we're told our entire
lives to wait till you're perfect.
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:Wait till you're the boss.
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:Wait till you have X amount of followers.
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:Wait until you have.
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:The perfect life.
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:No, celebrate it along the
way confident along the way.
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:Let's go.
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:And if you can imagine that kind
of like standing up on a spit bike
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:with, you know, pounding music it's
probably much more dramatic than my
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:reinterpretation of that there, but It
really struck me when I saw the video
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:because I feel like it resonated so much.
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:Like the part of, wait till you're
perfect, wait till something,
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:until you can, until you're allowed
to celebrate, until you've made
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:it in order to do something.
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:And that, Has unfortunately
been like how I operate.
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:So yeah, my confidence is very
much tied up into when I'm perfect.
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:And that's such a struggle
because what is perfection?
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:And that is a conversation
I constantly have.
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:And the, you know, and then it
comes to, why are you waiting?
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:You know, just, just celebrate you.
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:You've done so much.
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:And I think like Christine and I shared
this in common, we're, we're very quick
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:to diminish our own Achievements celebrate
other people's at the wazoo, but our own
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:stuff, like, Oh no, well, I can do it.
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:Everyone can do it.
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:So it's, it's not that special.
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:It's not that important.
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:And, and once I meet my next
goal, then I'll celebrate.
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:But then once we get there,
it's almost like, Nope, move
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:the goalpost a little bit more.
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:So Christine, what was your
thoughts and reaction when I
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:Christine: Well, it really brings to
light that I think a lot of people
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:think confidence is like a destination
and it's, it's not some, it's like
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:something you're constantly working
towards, which, yeah, I think like
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:that's part of it, but especially in
this context of like being told to wait
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:until you're perfect, or wait until X.
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:It doesn't, it just doesn't make sense.
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:Like, if, if, if, why wouldn't you want to
make those achievements with confidence?
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:You know, so
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:Alexandra: I have no idea, Christine.
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:If I think if, if you told me
the answer, I'd be like, great.
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:Now I have a, an answer and
I can find the solution.
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:Like I can move
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:Christine: I don't know.
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:I'd love to hear What do you
guys think who are listening?
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:I think I really struggle with this
one because I'm constantly struggling
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:with confidence and and my self
worth and I think it's because like I
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:don't want it to be that way, but I'm
going to get vulnerable for a second.
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:But I think like I'm, I
constantly wrap it up in those.
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:I care most like that's
where my worth lies.
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:It's in the relationships I
have and how I I don't know.
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:Alexandra: So you tie it to the people
around you more of having more than
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:having an, an internal core reserve.
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:Christine: cause like, yeah, cause like
I said, I know I can be a great friend
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:to those that I really care about.
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:And I know how to be a supportive
daughter and sister and a reliable
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:employee and, and things like that.
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:But self confidence is
like a whole nother beast.
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:Cause I feel like I, at times
I am confident and I have
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:confidence in what I'm doing.
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:And when I'm not up in my
head and like, I just do it.
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:Yeah, I got it.
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:But that's where I trip myself
off is I like the internal, like
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:I get caught up internally and my
insecurities start eating away at me.
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:So when you shared this with me,
I was like, yeah, it is truly a
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:tricky, it is truly a tricky concept.
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:And I don't know.
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:That's, that's all I got right now.
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:Alexandra: I think
that's the point of this.
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:Are we confident?
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:Like, I don't know.
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:We're, I think we're figuring
it out as we go along.
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:And I don't know.
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:Maybe some of our listeners
have some ideas for us and, or
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:are on the same journey we are.
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:And so maybe they, you know,
we don't feel so alone, which I
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:think helps sometimes, you know,
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:Christine: Yeah, for sure.
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:I definitely feel like I'm in a
rebuilding phase because Last year
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:definitely kind of wrecked me.
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:And definitely I found myself
at a different point in my
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:life than I've ever felt.
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:And like, we've all had a weird
fucking or five years, right?
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:And that's like, for me, that was my mid
twenties, which I've come to, I've come
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:to realize twenties is a weird decade.
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:who you were at 2020 versus who you are at
29 is like two totally different people.
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:Cause it's only nine years,
but you truly change so much.
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:And for you and I having COVID
happened right in the middle of it all.
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:It's such a formative time because like
it's it's that transition out of your
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:early twenties into your later twenties.
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:so much happens.
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:As you leave and enter your thirties.
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:So, I don't know, does
anybody else relate to this?
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:I feel like I'm almost behind
the curve in a lot of ways.
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:And with how last year ended for me,
I'm definitely in a rebuilding phase.
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:So, if, if you can relate to
that, sound off in the comments.
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:And I see you, I hear you, I'm with you.
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:Alexandra: You are certainly not
walking that journey and path alone.
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:Christine: all.
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:Alexandra: So I feel like this is
a great segue into the next segment
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:that we want to talk about of how do
we work on building it then if, if
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:we're not confident, how do we start?
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:So Christine, what are some of your
thoughts or things you would like to.
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:Try and do to kind of
build that confidence.
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:Christine: So, I actually thought
a lot about this as we were
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:preparing for this episode today.
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:I And it's funny to for me to give some
ideas on this as I just revealed to
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:you all how, where I'm at currently.
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:But, as I was reflecting,
here's what I what came to mind.
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:First thing was to celebrate
and reflect on your wins.
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:So, as Alexandra mentioned a
little while ago, she and I
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:tend to both downplay our wins.
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:Don't downplay it.
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:It's really important to sit with
them and see how that makes you feel.
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:And it's okay to feel good about it.
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:Celebrate them and celebrate it with
those who love and support you because
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:they're your biggest cheerleaders and
they want, they want you to be happy and
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:they want you to feel good about yourself.
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:So celebrate.
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:Alexandra: I like that one.
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:Christine: nothing's too small.
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:And.
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:It's important.
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:It really, I think, is something I
need to start embracing more, and I'll
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:have to report back to see how how
my mind starts to shift, but I can
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:imagine I'll be feeling way better
about myself once I start doing that.
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:Alexandra: I have a thought on that.
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:I was talking with a friend and she had
a, was in a similar situation of like.
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:Not feeling like she'd accomplished a
lot and how somebody she was working
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:with had said, why don't you write down
exactly what you did, you know, for
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:the thing she was trying to accomplish.
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:And she's like, even if it was
sending a text message or writing
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:something brief, I would log it.
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:And then over the course of the
month, I would look back and go,
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:Oh, I actually have done stuff.
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:So that made me think of the
celebrate and reflect on your wins.
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:And it's like, maybe the first step
to that is even just writing down that
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:you've done something so that you can
go back and have something concrete
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:to point to like, Oh, Hey, I did that.
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:You know?
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:Cause I think about that and be like,
well, what wins what accomplishments?
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:And I'm like, but if you write
down when, when something happens,
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:then you can go back and say, Oh,
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:that thing, that's what I'm
going to celebrate, you know?
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:Christine: Yeah, for sure.
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:Alexandra: that as somebody
who also needs to do
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:Christine: it's, if you, if you do that
exercise and you look back and you're
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:reflecting on all the things you've
done, like, yeah, keep celebrating
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:that because you've come so far and
it's important to remember that.
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:All righty.
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:next thought I had was view your
failures as learning opportunities.
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:Listen, no one likes to fail,
but there is beauty in failure.
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:I say this knowing that I find it really
hard to see that, especially when I'm
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:deep in it all, but it's truly when
you learn the most about yourself.
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:And most importantly, Remember to
show yourself grace when you mess
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:up or something doesn't work out
the way that you had planned it to.
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:unfortunately, that's a major part of
life, but there's always an opportunity
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:to learn from that and to grow.
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:Alexandra: But Christine, those little
voices just come back saying, Well,
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:look at all the stuff you didn't do
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:Christine: I know, I know.
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:Listen, I've been hearing those a lot
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:lately.
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:It's so hard.
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:But I think that really plays in
well to this next point, which
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:is treat yourself with respect.
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:where to even begin, where to
even begin with that one, right?
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:What does that even mean?
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:, I know I had to really sit with this
and I did a little reading on this,
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:but basically what I've come to
understand is that self-respect is
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:understanding and honoring your own needs.
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:and knowing your worth
and acting accordingly.
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:I know I've constantly, people have shared
with me like, know your worth, Christine.
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:And I'm like, what the
fuck does that even mean?
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:Alexandra: It's like, thanks
for throwing salt on that open
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:Christine: yeah, exactly.
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:Well, here's an exercise that I, I
want to work on as a result of this.
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:If you feel like you can work on your
self respect, consider identifying
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:your values, setting boundaries, and
nurturing your needs through self care.
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:And I think that one, that last one, self
care, is a big one for me because I think,
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:and this isn't something necessarily that
I felt from my parents or those I love
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:most, but there's definitely, this idea
of putting yourself for first is selfish.
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:That's totally false.
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:And it's that analogy of, you got to
put your face mask on when you're on
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:an airplane first, before you help the
person next to you, because you can't do
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:any help, you can't help those you care
about most if you're not able to breathe
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:Alexandra: I can see how that would be a
really big part of self confidence, right?
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:Because if you don't
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:Christine: yeah,
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:Alexandra: respect yourself and
respect what you're doing, it's
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:almost easy to make the jump of,
well, yeah, that makes sense that
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:you're not confident because you don't
have that sense of self to do so.
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:Christine: yeah.
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:Alexandra: Never really
thought about it that way.
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:So you've given me a lot to ponder in that
that one thought, but I think you were
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:going to say something else about self
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:worth.
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:Christine: So, as I mentioned,
when people have said to me
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:like, Christine, know your worth.
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:I'm like, okay, but like,
what the fuck does that mean?
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:I, I didn't, I really
didn't understand it.
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:So I did a little more reading and
came to understand and I've come to
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:learn that self worth is an internal
sense of being good enough and worthy
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:of love and belonging from others,
Which people might confuse with self
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:esteem, which is something that is
totally different from self worth
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:and it actually relies on external
factors like success and achievements.
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:So it's important to have a
solid understanding of our own
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:strengths and areas of growth.
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:Additionally, we need to remember to
feel good about ourselves, even when
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:we make mistakes and When things don't
work out in our life as we had hoped.
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:So An exercise to, like a sub
exercise to do under this exercise
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:of confidence, because I feel like
it all truly is rolled together.
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:is asking yourself how you would
describe your own self worth right now.
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:And there are a couple
of questions to consider.
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:What words would you use
to describe yourself?
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:What value did you place on
yourself or aspects of yourself?
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:Were your descriptions generally
positive, balanced, or negative?
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:And, where did your messages
around your worth come from?
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:So, this is an exercise I know I'm
going to do cause I feel like I need
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:to do like a whole sort of reset
so I think this is an important
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:one I need to focus on right now.
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:Yeah, I'll have to let you guys
know how this self reflection goes
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:Alexandra: Hmm.
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:That's something we all should do
and report back and see what, what
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:happens.
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:Christine: I'm, I'm done.
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:Alexandra: Cause when you were reading
those, I was like, oof, oof, oof.
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:And
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:Christine: we're getting deep, everybody.
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:Alexandra: then pouring some
hydrogen peroxide on it.
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:Christine: yes.
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:And just a couple more thoughts to keep in
mind in your your self confidence journey
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:is Positive self talk and affirmations.
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:And this is a great opportunity for me
to do a call back to our second episode,
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:which was on sayings and mantras.
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:And I encourage you, if you haven't
already to go back and give that a listen,
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:because we share some great tips on
how to create your own personal mantras
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:and to start re writing those tapes.
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:We constantly play in our heads and.
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:Remember, it's super important
how you speak to yourself.
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:I mean, you wouldn't talk to
your best friend poorly, so
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:don't speak to yourself that way.
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:Remember, treat yourself the
way you want to be treated.
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:This next point I like a lot because it's
to your point, Alexandra, of tracking
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:your progress, so I think tracking
your progress is super important.
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:If you can, do a daily check in, and
you can get creative with this, right?
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:There's not one, Right way to do this.
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:A couple of ideas I came up with.
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:First one was journaling.
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:Now I've tried journaling.
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:I don't know if it's for me, but this
next idea is one I'm kind of excited
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:about and I feel like I could get creative
with, which is coming up with a chart
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:that I can sort of like illustrative
with and have a lot of fun with another
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:idea was a video or photo diary.
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:You know, taking pictures throughout the
day or maybe in the morning or at night
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:before you go to bed, just recording
yourself for a couple minutes, just
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:talking about your day and I think,
at the very least, you can do a simple
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:list of of what you took away from the
day, and you can write a high from that
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:day, a low from the day and something
that you're grateful for, because So, I
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:think acknowledging what you're grateful
for puts everything into perspective.
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:And, these last few things I'll
just lift, list off really quickly.
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:Pursue things that make you happy.
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:stand up for yourself.
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:Which, I think is easier
said than done at times.
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:But, you know.
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:Try each day and don't beat
yourself up if you don't do it.
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:tomorrow's a new day and, who knows, maybe
you'll feel like you can take on the day
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:a little bit better after a good night's
rest and just some time away from it all.
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:and lastly, like, surround yourself
with media and things that can
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:help boost your confidence.
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:It's the books you're reading, the
people you follow on social media, Can
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:encourage that self confidence and this
is a fun little exercise on following
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:accounts that don't do that for you
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:Alexandra: Yeah.
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:And Kristen, I would almost even
wonder if it would be a good idea to
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:maybe unfollow accounts that don't
support that change before following
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:once you do kind of like that.
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:Christine: Yeah,
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:Alexandra: So I'm thinking sometimes
the things that we see aren't just like
378
:influencers, but it can be friends or
family and, and taking that step even a
379
:little bit to distance ourself can be.
380
:Sometimes hard to do or like even if
it's an influencer you really liked
381
:for a long time and Now it's like oh,
I don't really resonate with that.
382
:But you know, I was there when they
started or something You know unfollowing
383
:them might be that like, okay I'm doing
a really hard step and like you said
384
:earlier celebrate the small things I
did a hard step celebrate by following
385
:someone new like Simon Sinek or somebody
else that you know So I'm one just
386
:wonder if flipping it would make it
Easier to, to do the unfollow part.
387
:Christine: I think that's that's a great
point So yeah, that, that's my list.
388
:don't be intimidated by it.
389
:take it one step at a time.
390
:I know I definitely have a lot to
work through, but I think this is
391
:a good sort of framework that I
certainly am going to keep in mind
392
:as I I'm in this rebuilding phase,
393
:Alexandra: Yeah.
394
:And I like that.
395
:This is all stuff.
396
:It's not, it's not like
a one and done, right?
397
:This is stuff that you'll
probably come back to
398
:Christine: multiple
399
:times yet.
400
:And because we're constantly changing,
I think like, I definitely forget
401
:sometimes that part of the human condition
is like, you're constantly evolving.
402
:You're constantly changing because you're
aging, you're having new experiences and
403
:all of those things shape you and change.
404
:Change you so hopefully for the better and
I think Alexander you We're gonna share
405
:one of your favorite TED talks with us.
406
:Alexandra: Oh, yes.
407
:Christine: I'm ready.
408
:Alexandra: I'm trying to think of
when I first saw the scent hawk.
409
:I want to say that I was at least In
college, but probably in high school.
410
:Christine: Okay
411
:Alexandra: I think I had a English.
412
:Teacher or somebody who is like really
obsessed with Ted Talks in high school.
413
:So that kind of got me on to that finding
ones I found interesting, but I kind
414
:of came across this idea that from Amy
Cuddy's fake it till you make it Ted Talk.
415
:And of course, as per usual,
we'll, we'll link that.
416
:In the description, the show notes of this
episode and she talks about this idea of
417
:maybe it's not fake it till you make it.
418
:Maybe it's fake it till you become it.
419
:And I really liked that thought because
I think the fake it till you make it kind
420
:of hits more on the esteem part, right?
421
:It's the external things.
422
:Like you have all these external markers
that's saying, Hey, you've made it.
423
:If you keep quote unquote faking
it until you become it, until you
424
:believe that thing that you've been
pretending at, that's almost where
425
:that, that confidence is, right?
426
:That's what I'm thinking of.
427
:Like, it's not that I've just made it.
428
:I'm actually now this new person.
429
:Like, so I'm thinking like, if, if I
don't feel confident, maybe sometimes I
430
:should just pretend to be confident and
just go out and say like, what would What
431
:would I, what would a confident person
do and do that thing and keep doing
432
:that until I go, oh, okay, maybe this
isn't as hard or isn't as scary or, wow,
433
:that was easier to do than I thought.
434
:So I kind of liked that and the, this,
the woman who gave the TED talk, she
435
:had been through like a traumatic
accident that had impacted her brain.
436
:And.
437
:her value around how smart she was.
438
:And so I think it's a really good TED
talk to listen to, and watch and apply to
439
:any subject, whether it's confidence or
anywhere that you feel like you're lacking
440
:or you haven't made it or you're behind.
441
:So that's one of my favorite talks.
442
:And what you were talking about earlier,
Christine, where Making mistakes.
443
:I'm trying to think of the
exact wording you used.
444
:It was view your failures
as opportunities.
445
:And when you said that, that
reminded me of a book that I recently
446
:read for one of my MBA classes.
447
:And it was Dr.
448
:Carol Dweck, who's a psychologist,
a PhD in psychology called Mindsets.
449
:I actually don't have the book
right here with me because I
450
:think there's a subtitle for that.
451
:And it talks about the difference between
the fixed mindset, like the one that
452
:doesn't want to try something new because
it could prove that not good enough.
453
:It doesn't come easy.
454
:And that's the only way it should be done
is if something comes easy versus the
455
:growth mindset, which is Going, Hey, I
totally made a mistake and that's fine.
456
:And kind of get back up and embracing
failures and going, yeah, that's how
457
:I learned this is totally normal.
458
:It doesn't define who I am and
it doesn't make me a failure.
459
:Because I, I can see.
460
:Where in life and what subjects I have a
more growth mindset on and then where in
461
:life that I have a very fixed mindset on.
462
:And I feel like confidence is one of
those where I tend to lean into the fixed
463
:mindset and I'd like to adapt that and
change that to a more growth and embrace.
464
:The failures and praise failing at
being confident and learning, Hey,
465
:this worked or, you know, this part
works, but the rest of it didn't.
466
:So let me tweak it and try it again.
467
:So those are two things that have
really stood out to me recently.
468
:And of course, as I mentioned in
the sayings and mantras episode that
469
:Christine talked about earlier was
pretty much any work by Louise Hay.
470
:I feel like.
471
:If I go back and read it and
really absorb it, it kind of helps
472
:prod me in the right direction
of working on my self confidence.
473
:But there's so much, you
know, wrapped up into that.
474
:And I think we even talked a little
bit about that on episodes five
475
:and six of body image and health.
476
:And I know for me that how I look
is very much wrapped up into How
477
:confident I feel and should it be?
478
:Probably not.
479
:No, is it?
480
:Unfortunately.
481
:And so trying to disentangle or trying
to untangle that it was taking some work
482
:Christine: Yeah.
483
:Alexandra: and then, you know, separating
that from, cause like you said taking
484
:stock of something was If the comments
were positive, neutral, or negative.
485
:And I was like, negative because things
come up and, you know, it's always fine.
486
:It's always easy for me to find the
things to criticize myself about.
487
:And yeah, so I will say I've
embraced feeling a little bit more.
488
:I'm not saying, you know, Oh,
well commit with open arms yet.
489
:But it is definitely something that I am.
490
:Trying to work on because I think being
more comfortable that, comfortable
491
:with failing, making mistakes will also
492
:Maybe take some of the fear out of trying
to be confident like it'll it won't
493
:make it such this big thing Because
who cares if I mess up, you know,
494
:I'll say that but it would be me.
495
:I would care So Yeah, so all that
said, Christine, how are we going
496
:to hold ourselves accountable to
working on our self confidence
497
:and celebrating it along the way?
498
:thoughts?
499
:Christine: Well, I know in that list
I shared of thoughts on how to work on
500
:your confidence, I gave some like good
action items of journaling, or I think
501
:I definitely, I'm going to try and dream
up like how I could chart my Progress.
502
:And I think, you know, even the simple
exercise of, acknowledging what went
503
:really great today, what went really
bad today and what you're grateful
504
:for is a great exercise to do.
505
:And I think set.
506
:milestones for yourself, try and do
it at least five times next week.
507
:And just sort of see how you're feeling.
508
:I know right now, I'm practicing a town.
509
:This is a tangent for a second
and it will relate back to this.
510
:I promise.
511
:But right now I'm practicing
Italian through Duolingo.
512
:And.
513
:I have, I'm very proud because I'm,
I've been able to maintain my streak,
514
:which is like every day I practice a
little, a little bit more and more.
515
:the app sends me reminders like,
don't let, don't lose your streak.
516
:And it's so, it's, it's so silly,
but it's a great tool in keeping
517
:you, like holding you accountable.
518
:So, like.
519
:I don't know, like finding a way to
sort of create that for myself to
520
:make me excited to track my progress.
521
:I think also finding an accountability
partner, maybe somebody you, you
522
:care about a lot and want to also
see succeed in this self confidence
523
:journey, you can like check in with
each other, ask like, Oh, did you,
524
:did you reflect on your day to day?
525
:And I think those are some
things that come to mind for me,
526
:but what about you, Alexandra?
527
:Alexandra: I like your idea
of the accountability partner.
528
:I think that works for many, many things.
529
:I think I'm going to take a slightly
different approach and just, I think
530
:this is one of those topics that I
could kind of get in my head about
531
:and be like, rationalize it and
overanalyze the day is, you know, done.
532
:So I'm going to try and just.
533
:Pretend, just pretend,
put myself out there.
534
:Just go for it.
535
:So I'd like to try that at
least once this coming week.
536
:And I think for me just, I seem to
do better once I'm in a situation.
537
:So I'm going to just try.
538
:But yeah, maybe, you know having you or
some friends be accountability partners
539
:that I can go, Oh, Hey, I did it.
540
:And we're like, Yeah, there was
an opportunity and I missed it.
541
:So I'll catch it next time
and celebrating along the way.
542
:I think that's the benefit.
543
:I think of an accountability partner
to is saying, Oh, Hey, you did it.
544
:Did you celebrate?
545
:I think part of me would think
would be like, well, I did it.
546
:So that's the reward.
547
:And I'm like, kind of, but also,
you know, celebrate it along
548
:Christine: I think that's a good point.
549
:Yeah,
550
:start small and I think we talked
about this in our mantra episode, like,
551
:it doesn't have to be a crazy long
thing that you do, and you don't have
552
:to do it every day, but just know,
if you make it a habit, you're going
553
:to see the benefits down the line.
554
:So if you're struggling to get started,
find a, find that accountability
555
:partner and just know that it
takes one step at a time and it's
556
:a big deal when you take that step.
557
:Alexandra: I think that's the part
that, you know, I know that we struggle
558
:with is, is even acknowledging that.
559
:So it'll be cool to see that.
560
:So I will be checking in everyone
with Christine at the end of this
561
:week and seeing how, okay, I'll give
her till next Wednesday, you know,
562
:cause this release is on a Thursday.
563
:So I'll give her till next
Wednesday guys and check in with
564
:her and see how she's doing.
565
:And
566
:Christine: Sounds
567
:Alexandra: so I'm expecting
she'll do the same for
568
:me, but.
569
:Christine: Yeah, for sure.
570
:I love to send little love texts
where, like, I just randomly
571
:text you, accountability?
572
:Question mark?
573
:Alexandra: just like, and then
it's like send back, which ones?
574
:Christine: Yeah.
575
:Alexandra: Cause we have
a couple of things going.
576
:I feel like it's a confidence.
577
:It's a duolingo.
578
:It's a couple of things.
579
:But
580
:Christine: we should, like, we
should, pick out what emojis are
581
:gonna represent each thing, and I'll
just text you a, like, a message
582
:of emojis, here's your checklist.
583
:Alexandra: I like that.
584
:I think that would be fun.
585
:So we should definitely try
586
:Christine: Alright, I'm down.
587
:Alexandra: Well, on that note, I am
confident that we have only scratched
588
:the surface on the lifelong relationship
we each have with our self confidence.
589
:See what I
590
:did there?
591
:We want to hear from you.
592
:What are your thoughts on the
reel that we shared earlier?
593
:Do you notice waiting until something
happens to do or be something else?
594
:Comment on this episode and let us know.
595
:We want to hear what your thoughts are.
596
:And did you try any of our tips and
tricks and let us know how they worked.
597
:Tune in next week and welcome
our second guest to the show
598
:as we discuss money, honey.
599
:Talk then.
600
:Christine: Enjoying the
conversations we're having and
601
:the topics we're discussing?
602
:Consider supporting us through
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603
:We greatly appreciate any help in
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604
:Link in our show notes and link tree.
605
:Before we end, don't forget to
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606
:your preferred listening platform.
607
:And we'll catch you next time.