Being Misunderstood

Christine: 00:00:11

Hello and welcome to the Mirror Project.

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We are your host, Christine,

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Alexandra: And Alexandra,

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Christine: and we're

thrilled you're joining us.

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Today we're diving headfirst into

the world of misunderstandings.

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Ever feel like you're speaking

in riddles no one else gets?

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Us too.

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We're going to share our personal

stories from our days as chronic people

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pleasers to our newfound appreciation

for the beauty of being misunderstood.

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Buckle up.

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It's going to be a lively

and insightful ride.

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Alexandra: Before we delve into today's

riveting topic, make sure to hit that

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like subscribe or follow button on

your favorite listening platform.

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Take a moment to do it now

before it slips your mind.

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Trust us.

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We're not getting started without you.

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Let's make this journey together.

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Christine: All right, so let's dive in.

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We're going to first talk about

being misunderstood and this

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all started for us and what.

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inspired this episode was

something we shared with each

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other on Instagram as per usual.

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Alexandra: I feel like that

should just be standard now.

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If we say a video.

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I think everyone is going to

assume we got it off of Instagram.

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Christine: I know we should start,

you know, what we should start is the,

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a channel on Instagram, and we just

share it with everybody now so they can

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see our craziness.

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Um,

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Alexandra: Join our hamster

wheels and our heads, people.

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Christine: Yeah, it's crazy sometimes,

but anyway, the video that I can't

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remember who shared with who,

but it's comes from Annie Rose

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Nelson at Annie Rose dot Nelson.

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And it says, my life got easier

once I realized it's not my

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responsibility to convince you to

choose me or beg you to like me.

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I have decided to stop overexplaining

myself and start getting used to

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people misunderstanding me instead.

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So, alexandra, what do you

think of this off the bat?

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I would love to know.

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Alexandra: Wow.

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This really hit me.

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I don't remember who shared it,

but I think the first time I

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watched it, I just went, oof.

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Whoa, because I think I often

get so up in my head about

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what I say, how I say things.

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Will it hurt somebody?

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Will it be misunderstood?

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Am I explaining myself clearly enough?

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And it's something I think it's

something I tend to get from my mother

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with the over explaining, right?

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I have to over explain myself and

that's something I've been consciously

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trying to work on recently is I

think Christine, you and I have both

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seen the movie The Spy Who Dumped Me

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And Mila Kunis character's friend

was trying to stop her from over

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explaining and just it's just you

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Christine: it comes to lying.

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Yes.

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Alexandra: She was like,

what'd you do this weekend?

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Oh, I bought a boat.

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And she's that's it.

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You're out.

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Just, I bought a boat.

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So that's my kind of thing.

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Which tied into this, it's just okay,

I realized it's not my responsibility

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to make other people understand me.

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And I don't mean being cryptically

vague about life, but I do mean if

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somebody doesn't get who I am or

what I'm saying, then that's okay.

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I don't have to overexert myself

and overextend myself to explain

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that because then I just get

continually more up in my head.

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So I tried to think about both.

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But uh, you know, start getting used

to people, but start getting used to

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people, misunderstanding me instead.

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That is definitely something

I need more practice at.

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So Christine, where did this hit you?

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How, How did it hit you?

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Christine: So I think it's so

beautifully put and short and sweet,

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but the part that got me was, it's

not my responsibility to convince you

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to choose me or beg you to like me.

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And I think, you know, that

just really resonated with me.

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Not, and I'm trying to figure out why,

because in once I reached my adult life,

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like college and even after college, I

don't know if I care as much about caring

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what people think or like wanting them

to like me, but it definitely speaks

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to, I think Little Christine, who always

wanted, I just remember I went to, as I've

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Mentioned before small Catholic school

not big high school, and it was all girls.

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So just those two environments being

with the same people for so long

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at an elementary and middle school.

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It just, I just, I remembered feeling

kind of lonely because I had a couple

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of friends, but it wasn't the warmest

environment I would say, and I think I

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struggled a lot with And I think a lot of

people do when they're younger, struggle

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with wanting to be liked and like changing

how you who you truly are to be liked.

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And that's what I observed in a

lot of the peers around me, but

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that was never how I functioned was

like changing who I was to fit in.

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And I really, as we mentioned in our, Last

couple episodes ago with our moms my mom

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shared that she really instilled in me and

my sisters embracing us embracing who we

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genuinely are and not like hiding that.

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And, you know, while that's such

a beautiful sentiment and I'm so

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grateful for it now, it really was

kind of what ostracized me, I think.

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a little bit when I was younger, and

I only know this now as an adult, but

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reflecting on that, I was like why

am I like, why don't they like me or

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why am I being left out of things?

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Why am I made to feel bad about myself?

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And I think it's because the kids

around me were hiding who they were.

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And so, maybe seeing someone who isn't

doing that, they were like, trying to put

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them down to make themselves feel better.

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I don't know.

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But, I digress.

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That's

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really the part of the quote

that, that struck me the most.

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Alexandra: no, and it's interesting

that you say that, right?

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Because that is something, you know,

I think I struggled with internally.

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It's that I, young Alexandra, and to some

extent, Who I am today, I think does kind

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of get wrapped up in the feel like I have

to make it easy for people to pick me.

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I think

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we can call it insecurity and we can

call it me being so up in my head

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and have been for a very long time.

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As we've talked about many times on

this show that I tend to overthink

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things is I wanted to be liked.

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I wanted to be popular, but to be

honest, I've probably gone my own way.

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That you know, almost didn't

allow myself to do things.

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So I think there is still a part of me

that's I want to be picked and I want

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people to like me, but I probably need

to let go of, it's not my responsibility

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to make people like me And by shedding

some of that, maybe the right people

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will start to come in my life.

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You know, it's not necessarily people

who will take advantage of that

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need because they don't necessarily

say that out loud like, Oh my

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gosh, pick me, pick me, pick me.

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But it's more of like you said,

Christine, like I would change myself

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to make other people happy and very

adaptable, moldable in that way.

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I think in part because I am such an

empath and as a child, I just sucked at

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people's emotions, positive and negative.

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So I kind of did become

what people needed.

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And yeah, realizing that I don't have

to make people like me, that's a,

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like a world changing view for

myself, . So definitely something

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I struggle with and I'd like to

be a bit more confident with like.

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you can take me or leave

me, it does not matter.

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Christine: Yeah, absolutely.

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I, and I think just to bring it full

circle for me with this quote, the idea

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of being misunderstood is something.

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I've really started to reflect more on

as an adult and trying to get to the

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heart of like, okay, what is it truly?

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What is it about being misunderstood that

makes people uncomfortable or frustrated?

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And how

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do we let that go?

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Is it something, cause I think there's

a, there's an aspect to this where

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I think being misunderstood isn't.

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Is for me a chance for me to dig

deeper and figure out okay, how can

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I better communicate to people my

thoughts and feelings and opinions.

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But after that point, if I

feel like I have expressed.

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My thoughts, feelings, and opinions

to in a way that accurately reflects

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how I am feeling on the matter

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and they still misunderstand.

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And that's not my problem.

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That's their problem.

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So it's kind of interesting, something

that I've, as I've become an adult

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figuring out okay, being okay with, you

know, Misunderstanding, but there is

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sometimes an area of where, well, I don't

know if I fully understand what I'm like.

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I feel like I'm misunderstanding

myself and digging deeper.

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And why am I feeling this way?

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Or, you know, whenever I'm having

a debate or conversation with

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a friend or a family member.

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And it's the first time I'm actually

talking on a thought or an idea.

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And it's like, well, I'm still trying

to figure out, I know I have an

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opinion and a feeling on the matter,

but I'm still trying to articulate it

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and figure out like what where I am.

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So something to dive in more into

later this episode, but yeah,

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those are my initial thoughts.

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Do you have anything

else, Alexandra on this?

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Alexandra: so as you were talking,

I almost was picturing like a

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continuum of conversation, right?

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And dialogue of being perfectly understood

to being perfectly misunderstood.

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And I really did not think of it kind of

as a continuum until you were talking.

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And it's yes, you can do

all that you can to be

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as understood as possible, right?

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To clear.

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If you know your own thoughts,

because I know you've mentioned

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sometimes you're like, at what

point do you, do I lose myself?

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But let's say you get to a point where

you're like, I know what I'm saying.

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I know what I mean.

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And I'm conveying that clearly now

you've kind of come to the middle of the

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continuum, but the other person may not

be putting into the work to meet you.

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Near the center.

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And I think we both have the

tendency to then go, okay, let me

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do more than my fair share in this

conversation and over explain to

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meet the other person's deficient

understanding of the conversation.

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So I just, as you were talking,

I was like, wow, that was a

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really clear picture in my head.

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And I don't think I'd ever really thought

of it that way of okay, so I'm going

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more because somebody is not meeting me.

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Christine: Yeah, exactly.

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And I think I'm at a point where it

depends on who I'm talking to, right?

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If it's a family member or somebody

I love, a friend, if there's a

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misunderstanding, like I care about

this person in our relationship,

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so I want to work to resolve that.

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But if it's somebody,

like a coworker, someone.

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An

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acquaintance, someone on the

street misunderstandings happen.

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It's part of life.

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And don't sweat the small stuff, I guess.

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It's something that

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I am constantly trying to remember.

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Alexandra: I feel like that's a

great roll into our next topic of

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recovering from people pleasing, right?

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So I feel like you briefly mentioned

this, people being people pleasers, people

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pleasing so much to the point that it's

hard to distinguish what we even want.

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What's your experience with that beyond

what you already briefly touched upon?

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Right.

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Christine: I have, I've noticed in myself,

and I think It's something I've reflected

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on in people close to me and around me

that I do sometimes, it's easier for me to

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go along with what somebody else

wants than to really think, stop and

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think is this what I really want?

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And I, people do challenge

me on it sometimes and it's

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what do you want, Christine?

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You know, there's a part of me that's

well, I don't know what I want, but I

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feel like I have to, sometimes it's a

matter of well, I feel like I have to

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give you an answer right away, depending

on what the situation is or or just

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being like truthful and I don't really

want to do this and that's an answer

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to

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Alexandra: I feel like, Christine,

you would say that you're a very laid

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back, kind of go with the flow person

and I think sometimes that can come

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into conflict a little bit, right?

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And I'm thinking of oh, if I'm

trying to be a bit more go with the

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flow, but I really don't want to do

something, you know, that's where

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like the people pleasing kind of goes.

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Wait, what do I do?

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Christine: yeah,

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Alexandra: To go with the flow.

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This is who I am, but now I need to please

people and they're asking for something.

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What?

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It's like you're, like

a little brain spaz.

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Christine: Yeah.

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And it's

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I have that element.

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I have that aspect to my personality,

which is yeah, I'll go with the flow.

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Like I'm not picky usually

I'll add that caveat there,

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but also it's I also have some

relationships where I'm the one

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that if I don't make a decision,

nothing's going to, so it's an

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interesting, it's interesting where.

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My people pleasing pops up.

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I will say like when it comes to my

family or when it comes, I think the

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biggest area that I struggle with

people pleasing is work, because I think

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a lot of people can relate to this.

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When I first started working, the

feeling of imposter syndrome, I

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definitely have struggled with the

feeling of I'm lucky to be here.

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I'm lucky to be.

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Offer the job, not that they're lucky

that like, they're lucky to have me.

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I'm qualified to be here and I'm

eager to share and bring to the table

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my expertise on them on X, Y, and Z.

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So that's the area in my adult life

that I feel like I have struggled

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the most with when it comes to

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people pleasing.

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Alexandra: Have there been any

recent specific scenarios that

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you feel comfortable sharing?

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Christine: I think the most recent

would be the, my last position.

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I left about.

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almost a year ago.

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I,

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I feel like another part of

who I am is I'm very loyal.

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I have a lot of integrity when it

comes to something I care about.

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I put my heart and soul into it.

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And

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if I'm not careful, that's

easily taken advantage of.

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And I say that because I feel

like something I've learned if

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One of the big lessons I took

away from that experience was,

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it's sad to say, but I'm the

only one who's looking out

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for me at the end of the day.

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Yes, I have people in my life, family,

friends who care for me and want the

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best for me, but the person who is 100

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percent has my back

all the time is myself.

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So if I don't

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stick up for myself and I don't,

and things can happen, you

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could be taken advantage of.

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And that's sort of where I found myself.

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And because I had so much invested

in those, that professional

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relationship, there was also a

personal relationship aspect to it.

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I just was like,

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Suffering in silence

because I cared so much.

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And this was something I think

I was attached to the idea

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of what I wanted it to be.

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And it was, it started to

become the opposite of that.

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And I think I was still hanging on

because I, I had this idea in my head.

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Sorry if I'm sort of

veering off topic here, but

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Alexandra: No, that makes a lot of

sense, because when you said that, I

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was like, oh, wow, I have done that.

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when what you said about being.

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More attached to the idea of

something, and that's why you

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stay definitely a few things in my

life where I'm like, Oh my gosh.

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Wow.

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Yeah.

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Christine: yeah,

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Alexandra: Can see where I did that.

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Christine: Right, right.

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I also feel like I have to catch myself

because I don't want to fall into the

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habit of being a yes, like a yes ma'am or

yes man type of person and what I mean by

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that if that's not clear, like if some,

if somebody comes to me and asks something

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of me A boss or a manager or something.

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And instinctually I might

be like, Oh yeah, sure.

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But stopping and thinking well, is this

something that one is my responsibility

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and two, is it the best way to go about

it and not being afraid to offer up

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suggestions of Oh, what if we did this or

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you know, try to try doing it

this way instead, because I

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think it is easy to be that.

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Yes.

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Yes.

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That Yes Man person but I think a lot

of people, employers, might value,

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what should value your opinions.

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They want to know.

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So,

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Alexandra: Yeah.

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And particularly if you have that respect

for a supervisor or An employer that

314

: 00:18:32

kind of relationship and you invest

into that relationship sometimes when

315

: 00:18:38

somebody asks you to do something

that I don't know, cases where like

316

: 00:18:42

I haven't felt comfortable doing

because it's outside my wheelhouse.

317

: 00:18:46

Not that I'm unwilling to learn.

318

: 00:18:48

I totally am.

319

: 00:18:50

Maybe on the timeline it's different

or it's already so much on my plate,

320

: 00:18:56

but I don't feel like I can say no.

321

: 00:18:58

I definitely see that's where the

people pleasing and it's like I, like

322

: 00:19:02

Christine, will suffer in silence or

irritation and frustration because

323

: 00:19:08

now I've got this other thing on my

plate that I have to take care of

324

: 00:19:11

on top of everything else because I

didn't feel like I have the ability

325

: 00:19:15

or the right to say no to my boss.

326

: 00:19:18

Or know to someone of a higher level where

I work and just say, I would love to help.

327

: 00:19:24

I do not have space on my plate.

328

: 00:19:26

I just don't feel like

I can say that, which.

329

: 00:19:32

Maybe more of a reflection of the growth I

need to work on and improvement, but yeah,

330

: 00:19:38

that's where it's oh, I need to do this.

331

: 00:19:40

I need to please people.

332

: 00:19:41

I need to continually prove to the

people above me that I am Confident

333

: 00:19:46

that I am good at my job that I

can do things So definitely so

334

: 00:19:52

Christine: Yeah.

335

: 00:19:55

Alexandra: where would you say?

336

: 00:19:57

Looking back, you first noticed the

tendency to be a bit more of a people

337

: 00:20:03

pleaser, to kind of fall into that role.

338

: 00:20:06

Christine: I guess it's

always kind of been there.

339

: 00:20:09

I think a part of it is

I have that aspect to me.

340

: 00:20:12

That is go with the flow.

341

: 00:20:13

Don't cause too many waves.

342

: 00:20:15

Really I've always sort of been that way

and I think it's just sort of snowballed.

343

: 00:20:19

And as I've gone and gotten into my

adult life, as I've started working and

344

: 00:20:24

being faced with situations where like

you're, When you speak up for yourself

345

: 00:20:29

and that feeling of vulnerability and

uncomfortability you know, it was easier

346

: 00:20:34

to like, Ignore it, suffer in silence.

347

: 00:20:36

And so I think it's sort of just

has snowballed over the years.

348

: 00:20:41

And with this last job

situation I've found myself

349

: 00:20:46

in, it kind of snuck up on me.

350

: 00:20:49

I think like I kept sort of writing things

off or like brushing things off that

351

: 00:20:55

sort of was like, looking back on it.

352

: 00:20:58

I don't think if I had noticed

those things and not sort of.

353

: 00:21:03

Ignored the signs sooner.

354

: 00:21:05

I'm, it may have been ended

and ended very differently.

355

: 00:21:10

Who knows?

356

: 00:21:10

But yeah, I guess, I don't know.

357

: 00:21:13

I guess I've always, it's always

been kind of a part of me, but I'm

358

: 00:21:18

trying to think like, when did it

become what it has become today?

359

: 00:21:24

What about you?

360

: 00:21:24

What about you, Alexandra?

361

: 00:21:26

Alexandra: I'd say that

362

: 00:21:28

it's probably been there for

a long time in the sense of

363

: 00:21:31

just wanting to help people.

364

: 00:21:33

And I remember back to kindergarten

365

: 00:21:37

feeling like somehow it was my

responsibility to take care of

366

: 00:21:42

people, make sure that they were okay.

367

: 00:21:46

You know, I had mentioned that I did

grow up an only child and that I call

368

: 00:21:51

people and really close friends like

Christine and Simmi, my sisters, because

369

: 00:21:55

I do genuinely see them that way.

370

: 00:21:56

I did grow up as an only child so I

didn't have siblings in my space, but

371

: 00:22:01

I would happily share anything with

anyone if they just asked and probably

372

: 00:22:07

to my own detriment in many ways.

373

: 00:22:09

You know, and I think as I went up through

grades, schools, you know, people would

374

: 00:22:16

come to me and then it felt like I ended

up being people's therapist because

375

: 00:22:21

it's, I thought that's what they needed

and before I really understood what was

376

: 00:22:25

happening, not only was I just being a

listening ear for them, but I was ended

377

: 00:22:29

up taking their negative emotions from

them and I, they would leave feeling

378

: 00:22:33

amazing and great and I would feel Just

379

: 00:22:36

terrible and then I felt compelled

the next time they were down or

380

: 00:22:45

about something not feeling great,

that I had to let them, that I had

381

: 00:22:49

to make them feel better that, you

know, I was responsible for that.

382

: 00:22:53

And I think I'm going to do that now.

383

: 00:22:56

And it's just you know, when I try to

set boundaries and say no, I can't give

384

: 00:23:03

somebody more than this and, or I'm not

going to do something that would please

385

: 00:23:09

somebody because I'd done it in the

past when I don't have anything to give.

386

: 00:23:14

It's very uncomfortable.

387

: 00:23:18

Like not only being misunderstood

and saying sorry, I can't and

388

: 00:23:20

people going, well, but you've

done it before in the past.

389

: 00:23:23

You've helped before.

390

: 00:23:24

Well, you can do it.

391

: 00:23:25

I know I can.

392

: 00:23:27

I just mean not to.

393

: 00:23:29

And so that's very difficult.

394

: 00:23:31

So I think Christine, like you, it's just.

395

: 00:23:33

A huge part of who I am and you're like,

396

: 00:23:35

Oh, wow.

397

: 00:23:36

I'm realizing how unhealthy,

you know, it is for me and my

398

: 00:23:42

body and my own mental sanity.

399

: 00:23:45

And also putting, continually

putting myself last.

400

: 00:23:49

So

401

: 00:23:50

it's,

402

: 00:23:51

Christine: Yep.

403

: 00:23:52

I feel that, you know, it's funny

you sorry, just one thing I want to

404

: 00:23:56

jump in based on what you're saying, like

that was resonating so much with me is

405

: 00:24:00

I definitely feel like for the longest

time I would take on, I would be, you

406

: 00:24:06

know, cause I, I care for the people I

have in my life, friends, loved ones.

407

: 00:24:11

And I'd always want to be there

for those people that I care

408

: 00:24:14

about because they're important.

409

: 00:24:16

And I want to make sure that.

410

: 00:24:17

They feel supported.

411

: 00:24:20

So I definitely relate to leaving,

taking on the, their energy.

412

: 00:24:25

And it's something I'm working on

and figuring out ways to still be

413

: 00:24:29

that for them, but not take it on.

414

: 00:24:32

But another thing I would continuously

do is downplay my struggles and

415

: 00:24:39

Alexandra: Yes.

416

: 00:24:40

Christine: Like.

417

: 00:24:41

Oh, there's people in the world who have

it way worse off than I do minimizing

418

: 00:24:47

my feelings and emotions on things.

419

: 00:24:50

And it's not because I was

ever made to feel like that.

420

: 00:24:53

It's just,

421

: 00:24:54

As long as I could remember,

that's just how I functioned.

422

: 00:24:57

Was like,

423

: 00:24:58

I don't have a right to feel down

about this because People in the

424

: 00:25:01

world have it way worse than I do.

425

: 00:25:03

So I think

426

: 00:25:04

that also is feeding it fed into this.

427

: 00:25:07

Alexandra: Like it's, you know,

Oh, I'm, it can't be that bad.

428

: 00:25:11

Right.

429

: 00:25:11

When I'm experiencing can't be that bad.

430

: 00:25:13

I'm just making it worse

in my mind or something.

431

: 00:25:15

Um,

432

: 00:25:18

Christine: I'm feeling is valid.

433

: 00:25:20

I sometimes catch myself saying am I

crazy to if I'm venting to a friend or

434

: 00:25:25

I'm talking to my mom about something

and I'm like, is what I'm saying crazy?

435

: 00:25:29

Am I overreacting or is this all so,

you know, there's also that element

436

: 00:25:35

of trusting myself and, it's really

interesting to sit and reflect

437

: 00:25:39

on how all of these are connected

and how they feed into each other.

438

: 00:25:44

Alexandra: yeah.

439

: 00:25:45

So it's interesting cause it's not

necessarily tied to people pleasing,

440

: 00:25:49

but even with myself feeling like

having such a standard or expectation

441

: 00:25:55

that I have to live up to, whether

it's accomplishing it to do it.

442

: 00:25:58

To do list or something today.

443

: 00:26:00

I woke up and I was thinking, I'm

going to get this, you know, XYZ

444

: 00:26:04

done and it's going to be great.

445

: 00:26:06

I'm going to get all these

things checked off my list.

446

: 00:26:09

And I woke up, you know, fairly early

for most people, a little bit later

447

: 00:26:13

than I normally do during the week.

448

: 00:26:15

But.

449

: 00:26:16

You know, I stayed in bed and I

binge watched a couple episodes

450

: 00:26:21

of a show and turn around and it's

10, 10 AM and that's late for me.

451

: 00:26:26

And I'm going, Oh my gosh, I felt so

guilty for taking time for myself just to

452

: 00:26:32

do nothing or something that made me happy

thinking I'm like, I need, I didn't get,

453

: 00:26:37

you know, stuff for our podcast done or,

you know, As soon as I wanted to do things

454

: 00:26:41

that needed to get done around the house.

455

: 00:26:43

And so then it's sitting there going,

Oh my gosh, I haven't done something.

456

: 00:26:46

Somebody is going to say something and

go, why haven't you done or where is X?

457

: 00:26:52

So that's also quite a lot that I, you

know, it eats up a lot of mental space

458

: 00:26:58

and actual time worrying about that.

459

: 00:27:01

So with that said, Christine.

460

: 00:27:04

Do you have any tools to help with

recovering from people pleasing

461

: 00:27:10

and getting to a place where we're

being okay, being misunderstood,

462

: 00:27:16

or at least not feeling responsible

for making people pick us?

463

: 00:27:21

Christine: you know, it's interesting.

464

: 00:27:22

I wish I had a tool belt to

pull out and suggest and things

465

: 00:27:26

to suggest on this matter.

466

: 00:27:28

But really, it's just taken me a

long time to get to this point.

467

: 00:27:34

And I think, you know, in talking

with, you know, My parents and

468

: 00:27:40

people who are older than me who

are only just discovering are going

469

: 00:27:46

through a similar journey now and

they're in their 40s, 50s, 60s.

470

: 00:27:51

To be doing this in my late 20s, I think

I'm ahead of the curve a little bit

471

: 00:27:55

perhaps, but you know, it's I got to a

point where I really was like, you got

472

: 00:28:01

to do the work, you got to stop and think

and push yourself to try and understand

473

: 00:28:10

why you're operating the way you are.

474

: 00:28:13

For me, it took being, finding

yourself in a toxic work environment

475

: 00:28:17

to finally do the self reflection

that I needed to start doing.

476

: 00:28:23

And it's not to say that I've done

it and I'm cured because I I will

477

: 00:28:27

say I'm a recovering people pleaser.

478

: 00:28:29

Cause you know, sometimes I

slip back into it, but I think,

479

: 00:28:35

you know,

480

: 00:28:35

Alexandra: unconsciously.

481

: 00:28:37

Christine: right.

482

: 00:28:37

Right.

483

: 00:28:38

I think the key, I, the key thing

to remember and something I've

484

: 00:28:43

found helpful is to be kind to

yourself, give yourself grace.

485

: 00:28:48

Don't beat yourself up when you find

yourself in a situation and you're like,

486

: 00:28:53

wow, I could have avoided this if only

And just remember your work in progress.

487

: 00:28:58

I think that a lot of people around you

can relate to the experiences you're

488

: 00:29:05

having or what you're going through.

489

: 00:29:07

So reach out and find a close friend or

somebody you can talk to about it too.

490

: 00:29:15

I think those are a couple of things.

491

: 00:29:17

A couple things I would suggest.

492

: 00:29:19

So, yeah.

493

: 00:29:21

How about you?

494

: 00:29:23

Alexandra: I'm

495

: 00:29:26

Christine: What do

496

: 00:29:26

you think.

497

: 00:29:26

on what I said?

498

: 00:29:27

Does that make sense?

499

: 00:29:29

Alexandra: No, it does make sense.

500

: 00:29:31

And like you said, we're

all a work in progress.

501

: 00:29:33

And I think part of me, it is getting

down and just doing the work on myself.

502

: 00:29:39

You know, it's, I can't always be

envious or wish I were like other

503

: 00:29:44

people who don't seem to care as much

whether or not they do understanding

504

: 00:29:49

that is my perspective of somebody.

505

: 00:29:51

And You know, but that takes for them.

506

: 00:29:54

It may be easy.

507

: 00:29:55

It may not be, but for me, it would

take work and it takes practice.

508

: 00:29:58

So to keep, you know, working

on myself and doing that

509

: 00:30:02

Christine: Yeah.

510

: 00:30:03

Alexandra: Thing

511

: 00:30:03

that I think I heard recommended in like a

YouTube video or something I was watching

512

: 00:30:11

and it was called the disease to please.

513

: 00:30:14

It's a book written by

514

: 00:30:23

Harriet Breaker.

515

: 00:30:27

I think she's a PhD.

516

: 00:30:29

I actually didn't get a chance to.

517

: 00:30:32

really started before we

recorded this episode.

518

: 00:30:36

I think I've listened maybe

to like the introduction and

519

: 00:30:39

part of the first chapter.

520

: 00:30:40

So I think that's maybe something

to understand the different

521

: 00:30:44

types of people pleasing and

what the motivation is behind it.

522

: 00:30:48

As part of just working on myself of

okay, you know, do I think the book is

523

: 00:30:52

going to fix my, all my problems and go.

524

: 00:30:55

You're cured.

525

: 00:30:56

I'm like, no, but it may give me tools

to rationalize and understand why I

526

: 00:31:01

behave the way I do that it can then

identify that when it's happening in the

527

: 00:31:09

moment going, Oh, hey, I'm doing this.

528

: 00:31:13

I don't have to respond

to the way I normally do.

529

: 00:31:15

I can do something else.

530

: 00:31:19

So maybe we'll keep people posted on if we

read the book and what our thoughts are,

531

: 00:31:26

but yeah, and it's interesting.

532

: 00:31:28

I know I've talked about Louise

Hay's work on the show before and

533

: 00:31:32

sayings and mantras, but I love her

stuff and kind of makes me think of.

534

: 00:31:39

You know, affirmations to take

care of myself and, you know, that

535

: 00:31:43

it's okay to put myself first.

536

: 00:31:45

I think that's a big thing.

537

: 00:31:46

I have to get over feeling guilty

538

: 00:31:50

of taking time for myself.

539

: 00:31:52

So I think that's a big thing,

a tool I can work on for myself.

540

: 00:31:58

But yeah, what you said did make sense for

me and hopefully for others listening too.

541

: 00:32:04

Christine: That's

542

: 00:32:05

Alexandra: You weren't crazy.

543

: 00:32:06

You weren't overreacting,

544

: 00:32:07

Christine: cool.

545

: 00:32:08

I think, yeah.

546

: 00:32:10

Sometimes I find myself saying,

like, why does it always have

547

: 00:32:15

to be so much work to exist?

548

: 00:32:17

But you know,

549

: 00:32:18

it's true.

550

: 00:32:19

It's a lot of people, maybe I find myself

sometimes wondering why isn't there like

551

: 00:32:25

a simple answer to these complex issues?

552

: 00:32:29

And.

553

: 00:32:30

I think it's because we're sold

use this, it'll do this for you or

554

: 00:32:35

it'll fix your problem in this area.

555

: 00:32:38

So that mentality has sort of warped

our grasp on reality sometimes

556

: 00:32:43

when it comes to these situations.

557

: 00:32:45

And I don't think there's ever going

to be a time where I'm not going to

558

: 00:32:50

struggle with people pleasing or being.

559

: 00:32:55

Cured, quote unquote, but you

know, that's because you're just

560

: 00:33:00

continuously growing and evolving and,

561

: 00:33:05

Alexandra: Right.

562

: 00:33:06

And I think it's kind of, I don't know,

Christina, if you've experienced this,

563

: 00:33:09

but maybe think of why is it not simple?

564

: 00:33:13

And I think other people, when they give

advice, like to say it's simple and it

565

: 00:33:18

may be simple, but implementing that

it's not necessarily simple or easy.

566

: 00:33:24

So it's funny, you know,

that I care too much.

567

: 00:33:26

I overthink things or something

and, you know, I'll be talking

568

: 00:33:29

to my mom or other people and I'm

like, gosh, that was ages ago.

569

: 00:33:33

Just let it go.

570

: 00:33:35

I was I don't want to go if it

was easy for me to let it go.

571

: 00:33:39

I would have

572

: 00:33:40

Christine: Yes.

573

: 00:33:42

It's

574

: 00:33:42

interesting.

575

: 00:33:43

And we keep saying

interesting, I've noticed.

576

: 00:33:45

I think we should have a counter

of how many times you said the

577

: 00:33:49

word interesting today, but,

578

: 00:33:52

Alexandra: Does anyone who's listening

want to tell us a count and just

579

: 00:33:55

leave us a comment send us a DM

580

: 00:33:58

Christine: I don't want to say it's

interesting again, but when I, sometimes

581

: 00:34:03

I catch myself wondering, like,

why am I still thinking about this?

582

: 00:34:07

Why is this still this weird

thing that happened two years ago?

583

: 00:34:11

Like, why am I still feeling

embarrassed about it?

584

: 00:34:14

Or whatever the case or the

situation may have been.

585

: 00:34:17

I'm like, why are you, why am I still

giving this any sort of energy or thought?

586

: 00:34:21

Alexandra: Or from when

you were seven in my case,

587

: 00:34:25

Christine: sure.

588

: 00:34:27

Yeah.

589

: 00:34:27

Alexandra: hold on to things way

too long, but I agree, Christine.

590

: 00:34:29

Yeah.

591

: 00:34:30

And you kind of go, why is

this still sticking around?

592

: 00:34:34

Christine: And I don't know if I have

an answer for that, but maybe, you

593

: 00:34:40

know, The next time it happens to

me, I'll sit with that for a minute

594

: 00:34:43

and be like, let's follow this.

595

: 00:34:46

Why did this come up

for me in this moment?

596

: 00:34:48

What has happened that

brought this to mind?

597

: 00:34:51

Or if I'm just cleaning the dishes and

this weird thing pops into my head from

598

: 00:34:57

five years ago and this awkward encounter,

like, why is this coming up now?

599

: 00:35:01

Who knows?

600

: 00:35:02

But I would think it's,

there's some reason for it.

601

: 00:35:07

Who, but

602

: 00:35:07

maybe there isn't, I don't,

I'm not educated enough to

603

: 00:35:12

talk on the matter per se, but

604

: 00:35:18

I don't know,

605

: 00:35:18

food for thought.

606

: 00:35:19

I don't know if anybody

else relates to that.

607

: 00:35:22

Like

608

: 00:35:22

Alexandra: and

609

: 00:35:22

Christine: and I do.

610

: 00:35:24

Alexandra: anyone is listening and

you do have some tools that can

611

: 00:35:28

help your fellow recovering people,

pleasers, please share with us because

612

: 00:35:33

Christine: I'll take all the

613

: 00:35:33

Alexandra: Clearly we need help.

614

: 00:35:35

Christine: Yeah.

615

: 00:35:36

I, we were reviewing the the flow for

this episode and I said, and we came

616

: 00:35:40

to this section and Alexandra read

the question off and I was like, what

617

: 00:35:45

if I don't have any tools to share?

618

: 00:35:48

And she's that's okay.

619

: 00:35:50

That's an okay.

620

: 00:35:50

That's an answer.

621

: 00:35:51

And that's true.

622

: 00:35:52

I don't I have the experience I've

had that I have had, and that sort

623

: 00:35:58

of has spurred my own personal

growth in this area, but I'm still

624

: 00:36:04

very much a work in progress.

625

: 00:36:06

And I have to revisit this with

you all and sort of see how I,

626

: 00:36:10

how far I've come from this point.

627

: 00:36:13

Alexandra: right.

628

: 00:36:14

Christine: I think this is a great

opportunity maybe to speak more

629

: 00:36:16

on how we feel we are recovering.

630

: 00:36:19

Alexandra, how do you feel

like we're recovering?

631

: 00:36:22

Alexandra: Hmm.

632

: 00:36:23

Christine: Recovering?

633

: 00:36:26

Alexandra: I think we're

limping along the recovery road.

634

: 00:36:28

If I'm honest

635

: 00:36:30

it

636

: 00:36:33

Christine: Inch by

637

: 00:36:34

Alexandra: that might be even too speedy.

638

: 00:36:36

You know, cause it's something I talk

about in, you know, therapy too, of but

639

: 00:36:39

I mentioned, Something happening when I

was seven, still impacting me and a huge

640

: 00:36:46

part of feeling the need to over explain

myself, to, to lessen what I think or

641

: 00:36:54

feel to make other people feel better.

642

: 00:36:57

I mean, still to this day, and

it's like, why can't I let the go?

643

: 00:37:01

And it's almost on par with

things that would happen a

644

: 00:37:04

couple months ago or something.

645

: 00:37:06

So, how are we recovering?

646

: 00:37:09

Still working on it.

647

: 00:37:10

But

648

: 00:37:11

Christine: this conversation

here is a pretty big step because

649

: 00:37:14

Alexandra: that's

650

: 00:37:14

Christine: it's forcing us to

651

: 00:37:15

confront a lot of things.

652

: 00:37:17

Alexandra: quite public.

653

: 00:37:19

So, everyone here is my

accountability partner.

654

: 00:37:22

You're my accountability partners for

my road to recovery, but yeah not fast.

655

: 00:37:27

It is quite slow and it feels like

one of those things where it's almost,

656

: 00:37:32

okay, I'm making steps forward.

657

: 00:37:33

Okay.

658

: 00:37:34

I feel like I'm progressing

two steps forward.

659

: 00:37:36

And then it's no.

660

: 00:37:37

back and you're like, what the heck.

661

: 00:37:40

And then you're like, okay, I'm

going forward to going forward.

662

: 00:37:42

And I made 12 steps forward.

663

: 00:37:43

And then it's like 10 back.

664

: 00:37:45

You're like, okay, I would just like

to make some progress continuing in

665

: 00:37:49

a linear, some progress continuing

in a linear fashion, please.

666

: 00:37:54

But yeah, that's where I am.

667

: 00:37:55

Christine, How are you on limping down

668

: 00:37:58

Christine: in this

669

: 00:37:58

moment, I don't know.

670

: 00:38:01

This is sort of taking

me down a wormhole here.

671

: 00:38:05

How am I recovering?

672

: 00:38:08

I'm doing, I, hey, all things

considered, I'm doing pretty well.

673

: 00:38:11

I've, I've pulled myself out of the

toxic situation I was in, took some

674

: 00:38:17

time off to do some self reflection.

675

: 00:38:20

I've started a new job, which I

feel has evolved significantly

676

: 00:38:26

since I first started in December.

677

: 00:38:28

And I'm building back my confidence

in myself and being okay.

678

: 00:38:36

With.

679

: 00:38:37

uncomfortability when it comes

to works in work situations.

680

: 00:38:44

Having an what in my mind I'm

perceiving to be an uncomfortable

681

: 00:38:47

conversation and not taking the easy

way out and just suffering in silence.

682

: 00:38:55

Because You know, I need to be able to,

683

: 00:39:01

it's way easier for me to stick up

for people I love, but sticking up for

684

: 00:39:06

myself, I don't know, I don't know why

it's always been a place I struggled,

685

: 00:39:10

but I feel like this, these past few

months, I have definitely have been

686

: 00:39:17

making the conscious effort to do that.

687

: 00:39:20

So that in itself, I think is a big step

688

: 00:39:22

forward in, in this recovery process.

689

: 00:39:26

Alexandra: Yeah.

690

: 00:39:26

That's funny because I don't think

either of us have said we totally love

691

: 00:39:30

who we are and are confident in that.

692

: 00:39:33

Christine: I love

693

: 00:39:33

parts of

694

: 00:39:34

myself, I definitely,

695

: 00:39:38

Alexandra: But do you love

the whole of you all the time?

696

: 00:39:42

Christine: Does anybody,

697

: 00:39:44

Alexandra: I don't know.

698

: 00:39:45

But I feel like, shouldn't we

feel that a majority of the time?

699

: 00:39:48

Christine: That's an interesting question.

700

: 00:39:50

I don't

701

: 00:39:53

Alexandra: Cause, I don't know about

you, Christine, but sometimes I feel like

702

: 00:39:58

I take other people's value of me to you.

703

: 00:40:02

Make that who I am.

704

: 00:40:03

So that's really fed into I have to do

things that'll make other ha make others

705

: 00:40:09

happy or Make them happy with me and that

will be like my value and love for myself

706

: 00:40:17

Like it feeds that part of me that

I'm missing because I don't give that

707

: 00:40:22

to myself Which yes, I am working on.

708

: 00:40:28

Christine: Yeah.

709

: 00:40:29

Alexandra: Or maybe that's just

me and that doesn't make sense.

710

: 00:40:30

So that's

711

: 00:40:31

Christine: No it does.

712

: 00:40:32

I'm just sort of, I'm I'm, I think

I'm gonna sit with that and think

713

: 00:40:37

about that a little bit more.

714

: 00:40:38

I uh, I don't know.

715

: 00:40:41

Yeah, just taking it one day at

a time and remembering to be kind

716

: 00:40:47

to myself is something I try to,

you know, keep with me every day.

717

: 00:40:54

And maybe like embracing,

embracing the moments when you are

718

: 00:41:00

misunderstood and Not falling into

the need to overt, to overexplain,

719

: 00:41:08

to try and make someone else feel.

720

: 00:41:13

Cause I don't know if ever I've left a

situation where I've overexplained in

721

: 00:41:18

an effort to make sure they understood

where I was coming from feeling

722

: 00:41:22

better.

723

: 00:41:23

I don't think I ever leave that

situation feeling good, because

724

: 00:41:27

you expel so much energy and

725

: 00:41:30

It's for

726

: 00:41:31

what?

727

: 00:41:31

Alexandra: And it's unsatisfying.

728

: 00:41:33

Christine: yeah, it is.

729

: 00:41:36

And as long, as I said earlier, as

long as I feel as I've done, I've

730

: 00:41:42

shared my thoughts, feelings, and

opinions on whatever I've shared my

731

: 00:41:45

thoughts, feelings, and opinions on

whatever Clearly that I feel like,

732

: 00:41:49

yeah, I understand what I'm saying.

733

: 00:41:51

If they don't, that's their problem.

734

: 00:41:52

That's just something I hope to

still be okay with going forward.

735

: 00:41:59

Alexandra: think you would ever truly

be okay with being misunderstood?

736

: 00:42:02

But

737

: 00:42:09

Christine: probably not.

738

: 00:42:11

In this moment I want to say no.

739

: 00:42:12

I think it's also situation dependent.

740

: 00:42:16

like I said earlier, you know, if it's,

if there's a misunderstanding between

741

: 00:42:22

one of my best friends or my sisters,

you know, those relationships I value

742

: 00:42:28

so deeply that I want to Like for me,

that's worth the effort to work through.

743

: 00:42:34

And

744

: 00:42:35

Alexandra: what about if it wasn't them?

745

: 00:42:36

Christine: it wasn't

746

: 00:42:37

them.

747

: 00:42:37

Alexandra: somebody at work or

somebody you, a new acquaintance

748

: 00:42:41

that you don't know very well?

749

: 00:42:43

Christine: See, work's tricky too.

750

: 00:42:45

I don't know if I could ever be okay

with being misunderstood in a situation

751

: 00:42:49

of like where I'm working because I put

so much of myself in what I do and I

752

: 00:42:55

care so much about what I do that if it

would be hard to be okay with that being.

753

: 00:43:04

I don't know if I would equate that to

not being appreciated or, I don't know.

754

: 00:43:10

I think, I don't know if,

to answer your question, no.

755

: 00:43:15

Simply put, I don't know if I could ever

truly be okay with being misunderstood.

756

: 00:43:20

Alexandra: Do you think you

could let go of the burden of

757

: 00:43:23

needing to over explain yourself?

758

: 00:43:26

Christine: oh yeah, I

think I could do that.

759

: 00:43:29

Because it would be, I feel

like that would be so freeing.

760

: 00:43:34

What do you

761

: 00:43:34

think?

762

: 00:43:35

Would you be okay?

763

: 00:43:36

Would you ever truly be okay

with being misunderstood?

764

: 00:43:40

Alexandra: I want to say yes,

but right now that is just so.

765

: 00:43:47

foreign to me, right?

766

: 00:43:48

Because I overthink things way too much.

767

: 00:43:51

I think I wish I was like people who

can just say something and don't seem

768

: 00:43:54

to regret it or overthink what they say.

769

: 00:43:57

And they're like, if you

don't like it, who cares?

770

: 00:44:03

So,

771

: 00:44:05

Christine: I have a quick story

I want to share after that

772

: 00:44:07

what you just said prompted me.

773

: 00:44:09

To remember.

774

: 00:44:10

Alexandra: So in the future, I would

like to believe that I could truly be

775

: 00:44:15

okay being misunderstood, not family or

people who I find important to me, right?

776

: 00:44:23

Other people, yeah, why not?

777

: 00:44:25

But right now, no.

778

: 00:44:27

So, Christine, if you had

a story that you wanted to

779

: 00:44:30

Christine: Well, it's so funny.

780

: 00:44:31

It's something you just said

prompted this time I was, we were

781

: 00:44:35

all together, my family it was

for my sister, Nicole's birthday.

782

: 00:44:41

Her friends were, we were all together.

783

: 00:44:44

She has this one friend who cracks me up.

784

: 00:44:46

She's the type of person who just

like something pops in her head and it

785

: 00:44:51

immediately comes out of her mouth and

it makes, it cracks me up every time.

786

: 00:44:55

And I just, I think I said something

to the effect of I wish I was the

787

: 00:44:59

type of person who could just say what

she's thinking without overthinking it.

788

: 00:45:03

I don't think I fully, I

didn't say overthinking it.

789

: 00:45:06

I think I said I wish I was the type

of person who just Opens says whatever

790

: 00:45:10

she's thinking, and her friend turns

to me and she's Christine, you can.

791

: 00:45:13

It's really easy.

792

: 00:45:14

Just say it.

793

: 00:45:15

And I was like, it's that situation

of, oh, I guess it is easy, but

794

: 00:45:21

maybe it's, the concept of what's

easy for one person versus another

795

: 00:45:25

can be very different, but you know,

796

: 00:45:31

Alexandra: Maybe we

start in small scenarios.

797

: 00:45:34

Christine: right.

798

: 00:45:34

Alexandra: Unimportant conversations,

799

: 00:45:36

an interaction at the grocery store, and

if we say something, we just let it go.

800

: 00:45:42

Christine: it's also to that, to,

to that effect of who I'm around.

801

: 00:45:46

If I'm around people I know and don't

have necessarily any sort of guard up.

802

: 00:45:52

I don't know if guard up's

the right word, but I feel

803

: 00:45:56

comfortable around certain people.

804

: 00:45:57

I just say whatever comes to mind.

805

: 00:45:59

But in other situations,

this, I love her so much.

806

: 00:46:03

My sister's friend.

807

: 00:46:04

She just, whatever situation she's

in, if she's meeting somebody for the

808

: 00:46:07

first time, she says what she thinks.

809

: 00:46:10

I don't know if she's even

thought, sometimes stopped to

810

: 00:46:13

think about what she's saying.

811

: 00:46:15

There's been some pretty funny one

liners come out of her, but I don't know.

812

: 00:46:19

Yeah.

813

: 00:46:20

Alexandra: And that's kind of the

place I'd love to get more too, right?

814

: 00:46:23

Of just being, not that I want to

be hurtful or harmful with what I

815

: 00:46:28

say or how I express myself, because

I don't think that's okay, but

816

: 00:46:34

not

817

: 00:46:38

meaning what I say, if that makes sense.

818

: 00:46:40

So I can say something and sometimes

there's the sugarcoating it.

819

: 00:46:46

And there's, I think a

fine line in there, right?

820

: 00:46:49

Of You know, if Christine came to me

like, how do these pants make me look?

821

: 00:46:54

And I, you know, it would probably

not be a great thing to say.

822

: 00:46:57

Well, those pants make your butt

look really big and the cut's not

823

: 00:47:00

flattering for your shoes or something.

824

: 00:47:03

Not the best I could have done, right?

825

: 00:47:05

I could be saying, you know what?

826

: 00:47:08

Don't really think that

one's the best pair for you.

827

: 00:47:10

Why don't you try on something else?

828

: 00:47:12

But, You know, I feel like that's

kindness, but then there would be

829

: 00:47:17

the, Oh, well, it's okay, but you

know, maybe if you paired it with

830

: 00:47:23

something else, it would, you know, I

feel like that's one over explaining,

831

: 00:47:26

but also not being totally honest

and it's not saying what you mean.

832

: 00:47:32

So I think that was a very broad example.

833

: 00:47:35

And no, Christine has not asked me what

her pants look But that's something too,

834

: 00:47:43

is being more authentic in what I say.

835

: 00:47:46

It's like meaning what I say,

not what I think people, what I

836

: 00:47:52

think people think I should say.

837

: 00:47:55

Yes, I think that was right.

838

: 00:47:56

So being a bit more honest in my

communication, I feel like might be the

839

: 00:48:00

first step for me to get to that point of,

I think it, it just comes out of my mouth.

840

: 00:48:06

I think therefore I say.

841

: 00:48:11

Christine: For sure.

842

: 00:48:12

Yeah.

843

: 00:48:13

This episode has left me it's so funny

when we enter these conversations together

844

: 00:48:19

I think, I feel like I know where I

stand, but then we come to the end of

845

: 00:48:25

our conversation and I'm like, I don't

think I, I've gone on quite the journey.

846

: 00:48:30

I don't know if I've, if I'm, am

where I was how, when we first started

847

: 00:48:34

talking about this, but yeah, this

is I feel like there's so much more

848

: 00:48:39

to this topic that I need to explore

more and would love to chat more

849

: 00:48:46

about this again in the future, but.

850

: 00:48:50

Alexandra: Yeah,

851

: 00:48:51

Christine: For those listening,

would you ever truly be okay

852

: 00:48:53

with being misunderstood?

853

: 00:48:55

Are you like Alexander and I

where we hope to one day, but I

854

: 00:49:02

personally don't think I ever will.

855

: 00:49:03

And, but who knows, I'd

like to prove myself wrong.

856

: 00:49:07

We want to know we'd

love to hear from you.

857

: 00:49:10

Alexandra: right.

858

: 00:49:10

And if you have made that

transformation from people

859

: 00:49:15

pleasing to being misunderstood,

860

: 00:49:18

we would love to hear how you did that.

861

: 00:49:21

So,

862

: 00:49:22

Christine: might have to have you

on and ask you all the questions.

863

: 00:49:27

Alexandra: If you have done

that, definitely DMS, and we

864

: 00:49:29

would love to chat with you.

865

: 00:49:31

So Christine, if you

have any less thoughts,

866

: 00:49:34

Christine: No, I just, I'll leave

leave us all with this thought.

867

: 00:49:37

If you are recovering people,

please are like myself.

868

: 00:49:39

You're not alone.

869

: 00:49:40

You have a friend in me and.

870

: 00:49:43

If you would love to chat with you

more about it and maybe we'll help

871

: 00:49:49

each other on this recovery journey.

872

: 00:49:55

Alexandra: All right.

873

: 00:49:55

And there you have it, friends.

874

: 00:49:57

Misunderstandings are an inevitable

part of our lives, but they

875

: 00:50:01

are not our burden to bear.

876

: 00:50:03

As we have journeyed through

the tales of people pleasing and

877

: 00:50:06

the empowering steps Somewhat.

878

: 00:50:09

Towards self acceptance, remember

that it is okay to be misunderstood.

879

: 00:50:14

It is not our responsibility to

make everyone see us clearly.

880

: 00:50:17

Sometimes the magic lies in the mystery.

881

: 00:50:20

So embrace those moments

of miscommunication as

882

: 00:50:23

part of your evolution.

883

: 00:50:24

Let them be the unexpected

lines in your life story.

884

: 00:50:28

Thank you for joining us on

the mirror project today.

885

: 00:50:30

Next week, we'll be diving into

the world of yoga with a very

886

: 00:50:33

special guest, Victoria Christina.

887

: 00:50:35

Until then, keep reflecting and growing,

being beautifully misunderstood.

888

: 00:50:41

Christine: Are you enjoying the

banter and insights we're serving up?

889

: 00:50:44

If so, consider tossing some support our

way through our buy us a coffee page.

890

: 00:50:48

Every bit helps in fueling

this passion project of ours.

891

: 00:50:51

Find the link in our show

notes or visit our link tree.

892

: 00:50:54

We're immensely grateful

for your generosity.

893

: 00:50:57

we wrap up, remember to hit that

like subscribe or follow button

894

: 00:51:00

on your preferred platform.

895

: 00:51:02

Until next time, let's keep

the conversation going.

896

: 00:51:05

We'll catch on the next episode