Found Family

Alexandra: 00:00:12

Hey, welcome back to The Mere Project.

2

: 00:00:14

We're your host Alexandra.

3

: 00:00:16

Christine: And Christie.

4

: 00:00:16

Alexandra: We grow up hearing that

family is everything and that blood

5

: 00:00:19

is thicker than water, that those

we're born to are who we're bound to.

6

: 00:00:24

But for so many of us, that's not the

full story because sometimes family

7

: 00:00:28

isn't who raised us, but who held us.

8

: 00:00:31

It's not who shares our DNA, but

who shows up again and again with

9

: 00:00:35

love, with presence and with care.

10

: 00:00:37

Because what do we do with the

longing to feel safe, known and loved?

11

: 00:00:41

When our origins didn't offer that?

12

: 00:00:43

We build it, we seek it.

13

: 00:00:44

We create spaces, friendships,

communities that say, you belong here.

14

: 00:00:49

Today's episode is a love letter to

the ones who became our chosen people.

15

: 00:00:53

We're talking about found family,

what it is, how it changes us, and

16

: 00:00:57

why it is one of the most powerful

forms of connection we can experience.

17

: 00:01:00

We'll share stories, explore how

these bonds are formed, and reflect

18

: 00:01:03

on the healing that happens when we

realize we don't have to do life alone.

19

: 00:01:07

Let's get into it.

20

: 00:01:08

Christine: All righty.

21

: 00:01:10

I'm very excited for today's episode.

22

: 00:01:12

And I think the perfect place to start is.

23

: 00:01:16

Defining what found family means.

24

: 00:01:18

So Alexander, you mentioned in the

intro there blood is thicker than water.

25

: 00:01:22

Can you maybe dive in a

little bit on that one?

26

: 00:01:25

Because I only recently learned like

what the true origin of that idea is.

27

: 00:01:31

So would love for you to share.

28

: 00:01:33

Alexandra: Absolutely.

29

: 00:01:34

And I think it kind of stuck with me

when, you know, we hear that, right?

30

: 00:01:37

Because I think it was back in college

that a a friend of yours had introduced

31

: 00:01:41

me to that more like original saying.

32

: 00:01:43

And the phrase, blood is thicker than

water, is often used to emphasize

33

: 00:01:47

the loyalty that we have to family,

though the ties that bind us.

34

: 00:01:51

But this seems to be based on

some light research, so everyone.

35

: 00:01:55

Please do your own check.

36

: 00:01:57

Fact check us a modern interpretation

that is likely an oversimplification of

37

: 00:02:02

like potentially the original FA phrase.

38

: 00:02:05

So the fuller older version is believed

to be the blood of the covenant is

39

: 00:02:11

thicker than the water of the womb.

40

: 00:02:13

So this kind of flips that modern

interpretation that we have.

41

: 00:02:16

It implies that chosen bonds, um, such as

those formed through shared experiences,

42

: 00:02:21

communities hardships are stronger than

the family ties that we're born into.

43

: 00:02:27

So kinda like what's

the real origin, right?

44

: 00:02:29

If we say just simply blood

is thicker than water.

45

: 00:02:32

Then yeah, it means what we think it

means of family loyalty is strong.

46

: 00:02:36

But if you kind of go by that

older phrase, like the blood of the

47

: 00:02:39

covenants, the version seems to be

a reinterpretation to highlight the

48

: 00:02:43

strength of chosen relationships and

friendships that we have in our life.

49

: 00:02:48

So

50

: 00:02:49

which one do you like?

51

: 00:02:50

Christine: lean towards?

52

: 00:02:52

So growing up definitely.

53

: 00:02:56

I've leaned more towards the

blood's thicker than water, just

54

: 00:02:59

based on the familial relationship.

55

: 00:03:03

My parents were focused on building

for us, between my sisters and I

56

: 00:03:11

I.

57

: 00:03:11

Um, it wasn't until I became

an adult that I really sort of

58

: 00:03:13

under started to understand the

complexities of relationships.

59

: 00:03:18

And, we've talked many, many times in

previous episodes about, relationship,

60

: 00:03:24

like family dynamics and my sisters

were on my, our moms were on.

61

: 00:03:29

So it kind of gives you a

picture into what family.

62

: 00:03:36

That we're born into sort

of means for the both of us.

63

: 00:03:38

But think ultimately now as an

adult, my family, my found family

64

: 00:03:44

ties, I feel like are so much,

aren't stronger, but they're deeper.

65

: 00:03:50

They're in a,

66

: 00:03:50

Alexandra: Hmm.

67

: 00:03:51

Christine: in a different way.

68

: 00:03:52

So I definitely think now who I am

today really lean more towards the older

69

: 00:03:59

sort of interpretation of that saying.

70

: 00:04:01

And I really love.

71

: 00:04:03

Love it.

72

: 00:04:03

It, it stops and makes

you think for a second.

73

: 00:04:05

So how about you, what do you feel

like you're leaning more towards?

74

: 00:04:10

Alexandra: Well, I think since I

really never grew up around much of

75

: 00:04:14

like the family I was related to by

blood I've mentioned my mom's family

76

: 00:04:18

was northeast and my dad's family

was from east coast on the south.

77

: 00:04:22

So I think mostly my definition

of family is more found family.

78

: 00:04:27

The ties that you choose to be with based

on my experience and I feel like those.

79

: 00:04:32

Stronger for me because I feel more

connected to those individuals.

80

: 00:04:36

Because you because I've

had a choice in that.

81

: 00:04:39

Christine: Absolutely.

82

: 00:04:39

Alexandra: based on, 'cause I'm,

I'm very different than I feel like

83

: 00:04:44

in many ways than the family that

I was born into on either side.

84

: 00:04:48

And the family that I grew up

knowing was the found family.

85

: 00:04:51

So I feel like I'm, I prefer like

the covenant of, that the blood

86

: 00:04:55

of the covenant is thicker than

the water of the womb, because

87

: 00:04:57

that's been my lived experience.

88

: 00:04:58

Our friendship, your family to

me, my sister's family to me even

89

: 00:05:03

though they, we aren't born into

the same blood related family.

90

: 00:05:07

So

91

: 00:05:08

I think I like definitely lean that way.

92

: 00:05:11

Christine: Definitely.

93

: 00:05:14

Yeah.

94

: 00:05:14

I also think like, on around the question

of what found family means to us.

95

: 00:05:19

I think it's.

96

: 00:05:20

Sort of like the family you're

born into is already defined when

97

: 00:05:24

In it,

98

: 00:05:24

But the idea of creating a found

family is something that you

99

: 00:05:28

have so much more of a say in how

that relationship is established.

100

: 00:05:34

Like we mentioned, it's really

sort of what kind of comes

101

: 00:05:38

out of shared live experience.

102

: 00:05:40

That to me is just.

103

: 00:05:42

So beautiful and special,

104

: 00:05:46

and I'm always a fan of unique

unique experiences in relationships.

105

: 00:05:51

So that's kind of what found family

means to me and something that's why

106

: 00:05:54

it is so special and something I invest

so much of myself and my time into.

107

: 00:06:00

How would you define Family?

108

: 00:06:01

Family for yourself?

109

: 00:06:03

Alexandra: I feel like found family, much

like deep, meaningful friendships are

110

: 00:06:07

the people I want to spend time around.

111

: 00:06:10

Christine: I certainly would hope so.

112

: 00:06:11

Alexandra: I mean, it, it

doesn't feel like an obligation.

113

: 00:06:14

Like, you know how some family

functions can be like, oh.

114

: 00:06:16

I don't wanna go.

115

: 00:06:17

I have to go.

116

: 00:06:18

I'm related to them.

117

: 00:06:19

You know, kind of like that.

118

: 00:06:21

It's like found family.

119

: 00:06:22

Like even if you kind of experience

like irritation with people because we

120

: 00:06:25

all kind of rub up against each other.

121

: 00:06:28

That sounded wrong.

122

: 00:06:29

We all kind of experience like, you

know, conflict within any group, but

123

: 00:06:33

the found family are the, the people

I wanna show up for because I'm like,

124

: 00:06:36

this is who I want to be around.

125

: 00:06:37

This is who I enjoy being around.

126

: 00:06:39

This is the choice that I'm making.

127

: 00:06:41

Yeah, I feel like that's it.

128

: 00:06:42

Like there are some of, I, you know,

I consider them family from Southern

129

: 00:06:46

California who I'm like, I hate that

we live so far away because I miss

130

: 00:06:53

the, like, the get togethers we all had

and those times, but I still consider

131

: 00:06:57

them family even though I don't get

to see them, because I know that when

132

: 00:07:00

I do talk to them, I really love it.

133

: 00:07:02

You know, it's a, it's a really enjoyable

experience and it's like I look forward

134

: 00:07:06

to those things and sometimes with.

135

: 00:07:08

More family functions.

136

: 00:07:09

I haven't looked forward to it.

137

: 00:07:10

I don't feel like, I don't feel connected.

138

: 00:07:14

I don't feel like I belong and that may

just be, my experience within my family.

139

: 00:07:17

But I think that's also, I.

140

: 00:07:21

How we grew up not being close to family.

141

: 00:07:23

You, I don't know, my parents taught

me to make my family wherever I went.

142

: 00:07:26

And that family was the people in the

community you choose to spend time with.

143

: 00:07:30

And so I think that's how

I define found family.

144

: 00:07:33

The one, the people you want to spend

time with in your best days and in

145

: 00:07:36

your worst days because you know that

they will love and accept you because

146

: 00:07:41

they chose that relationship too, as

much as you choose that relationship.

147

: 00:07:45

Christine: Yeah, I like that a lot.

148

: 00:07:48

so why do you think people

seek to create f families?

149

: 00:07:52

What, and like what has driven.

150

: 00:07:56

You to seek your found family.

151

: 00:07:57

I know you just touched on that

a little bit, but let's dive

152

: 00:08:00

into that a little bit more.

153

: 00:08:00

So why do you think people

to create found families?

154

: 00:08:05

Alexandra: Maybe they

don't feel accepted or.

155

: 00:08:09

Like fully accepted by the, the

family that they were born into.

156

: 00:08:13

And so whether you're close or if you're,

especially if you're not close with your,

157

: 00:08:19

you know, your parents or your extended

family, wanting to find that community,

158

: 00:08:24

that place where you can call home with

people, I feel like that certainly drives

159

: 00:08:28

me, like, as much as I love my alone time

and I'm like, you know, I, I need it.

160

: 00:08:33

I'm also.

161

: 00:08:35

A very social per, I can be a very

social person and I want to spend,

162

: 00:08:38

like, I want to spend time with

people whom I enjoy being around.

163

: 00:08:42

And that you, you may not like they may

not get everything about you or agree

164

: 00:08:49

with everything you think or say or have

the same opinions, but that you kind

165

: 00:08:54

of come together and you can say like.

166

: 00:08:56

Despite all that I really

enjoy spending time with you,

167

: 00:08:59

or let's have a great debate.

168

: 00:09:00

I feel like I, I feel like I'm searching

for that, that family or that community

169

: 00:09:05

that you just kind of feel you can

be fully your full self and not just

170

: 00:09:11

aspects of yourself or parts of yourself.

171

: 00:09:14

And say like, okay,

this is only acceptable.

172

: 00:09:16

You know, this version of

Alexander is only acceptable when

173

: 00:09:18

I'm with this group of people.

174

: 00:09:20

Or, in this situation.

175

: 00:09:22

It's kind of, you know, I think that's

what I'm seeking when I'm looking for

176

: 00:09:25

found family is the, are the people who

accept all aspects of me and like that.

177

: 00:09:30

And you know, and they're like,

wanna spend time with that?

178

: 00:09:34

Ver all versions.

179

: 00:09:36

Christine: Yeah.

180

: 00:09:36

No, that's, well, that's

really important, right?

181

: 00:09:38

Because otherwise you're never

gonna be at home in your own body.

182

: 00:09:43

In your own skin.

183

: 00:09:44

You feel like you have to hold

yourself back in any way, I think

184

: 00:09:47

also for a lot of people, they seek

fa, like they'll seek a found family.

185

: 00:09:53

When, you know they're in times of

hardship or struggle, like those sort

186

: 00:09:57

of situations tie people together,

187

: 00:10:01

In a way that it's like no

other, because, shared trauma

188

: 00:10:06

can really bond people together.

189

: 00:10:08

But I was just sort of thinking back to

high school and, it's, some might call it

190

: 00:10:15

a cliche, but it really is true, like the

cliques that people find themselves in.

191

: 00:10:19

And, I found a home in theater

because that was a way for me

192

: 00:10:24

to be able to express myself.

193

: 00:10:26

And I was around people who

encouraged me to be my myself, but

194

: 00:10:30

also have fun and let go and, they

just sort of seemed to understand

195

: 00:10:35

me beyond like the surface level.

196

: 00:10:40

And that really stuck with me and

it sort of carried, it carried

197

: 00:10:42

through when I went off to college.

198

: 00:10:44

And it showed the importance

of finding those, finding the

199

: 00:10:49

people who will accept you.

200

: 00:10:53

One of the things I love most

about our relationship about.

201

: 00:10:56

My best, like the relationship I have

with my best friends is that we can

202

: 00:11:01

literally just be in a room together

and we don't even have to be talking.

203

: 00:11:04

We can just in each other's presence

and just be content and happy

204

: 00:11:08

and, start talking when there's

something we wanna talk about.

205

: 00:11:12

But then also just like, let our, let

ourselves just be, just be it's a really

206

: 00:11:18

beautiful point to reach with somebody

and I don't think it's necessarily found.

207

: 00:11:24

Often because I think there can be,

that's a very vulnerable state to be in.

208

: 00:11:29

Uh, I think a lot of people like to

fill the space they're in with people,

209

: 00:11:33

whether that's with conversation with

activity, whatever the case may be.

210

: 00:11:39

So that to me is sort of like a

sign, a signal or like a culmination

211

: 00:11:47

of what our relationship.

212

: 00:11:48

It could be that goes

beyond just a friendship,

213

: 00:11:52

Sense.

214

: 00:11:53

Alexandra: Yeah.

215

: 00:11:55

I like that one.

216

: 00:11:56

You?

217

: 00:11:57

Christine: yeah.

218

: 00:11:57

Yeah, and that definitely is like a

driving factor for me and why I tend to

219

: 00:12:02

go all in on those sorts of relationships

220

: 00:12:06

I truly find deep value in them.

221

: 00:12:10

And which is why it hurts when

it doesn't work out, but life,

222

: 00:12:13

Alexandra: Yeah.

223

: 00:12:14

Christine: life,

224

: 00:12:14

Alexandra: well, I think you pulled

out an important distinction.

225

: 00:12:18

For, at least for me, when it comes to

like found family versus friendships,

226

: 00:12:22

I think you kind of explained

it in the sense of they're the

227

: 00:12:25

people that you can sit in silence

with, but you can also talk with.

228

: 00:12:28

So it's like to me, the people that you

can show up and be your best version, your

229

: 00:12:33

worst version, your anxious version, and

they will love and accept that and return

230

: 00:12:38

that kind of back with you and have that.

231

: 00:12:41

Two-way flow street.

232

: 00:12:44

I feel like that we were talking about

like how do you define found family?

233

: 00:12:48

I think that might be that relationship,

whereas friendships, I might then

234

: 00:12:54

define as we have this one thing

that kind of binds us together

235

: 00:12:59

and this is what we talk about.

236

: 00:13:00

This is how I show up in

this relationship, so not.

237

: 00:13:04

Hiding all aspects of yourself, but

like one version or one part of you

238

: 00:13:09

is more prominent because of that

one experiences, but outside of that,

239

: 00:13:14

not a whole lot of similarities.

240

: 00:13:16

No.

241

: 00:13:18

Christine: Yeah.

242

: 00:13:18

Alexandra: Does that make sense?

243

: 00:13:19

Christine: also it

244

: 00:13:20

Alexandra: Okay.

245

: 00:13:20

Christine: and I think,

no, it definitely does.

246

: 00:13:23

And I think like there's a moment where

despite I tr I do think like even if

247

: 00:13:32

you only have one, one shared thing,

are people who have those deeper.

248

: 00:13:39

Of with people beyond that.

249

: 00:13:42

But I think for some it just stays there.

250

: 00:13:45

And that's okay too.

251

: 00:13:46

And I think that that's why

there is degrees of friendship.

252

: 00:13:50

There's depth to it.

253

: 00:13:51

There's and I think something we're

both discovering now in our adult

254

: 00:13:58

phase of life that we're officially

in is that, that's to be expected.

255

: 00:14:02

That's the norm.

256

: 00:14:03

And it's not necessarily.

257

: 00:14:05

Because it, it just comes

down to people's time

258

: 00:14:10

And sometimes that's all

they have space for, and

259

: 00:14:13

Alexandra: Yeah,

260

: 00:14:13

Christine: And

261

: 00:14:15

Alexandra: because that may

be all you have space for too.

262

: 00:14:18

Christine: exactly.

263

: 00:14:19

Alexandra: I like that.

264

: 00:14:19

Degrees of friendship.

265

: 00:14:22

Yeah.

266

: 00:14:22

Christine: you.

267

: 00:14:23

Alexandra: It's.

268

: 00:14:24

Christine: I just came

up with that on the spot.

269

: 00:14:26

Alexandra: It is almost like if we

were to gamify like level one friend,

270

: 00:14:31

Christine: Let's level up.

271

: 00:14:33

Alexandra: level 10, found family.

272

: 00:14:36

Christine: Yeah.

273

: 00:14:37

Cool.

274

: 00:14:37

Yeah.

275

: 00:14:38

Alexandra: but yeah.

276

: 00:14:38

Okay.

277

: 00:14:38

So what has driven you to seek

find family before we move on?

278

: 00:14:44

Christine: It's all sort of

happened organically, I think.

279

: 00:14:46

I never really, it was never really a

conscious thought until I kind of left

280

: 00:14:54

college and really saw the importance

of maintaining relationships because

281

: 00:15:01

college is a perfect example of just

being, everything's really convenient.

282

: 00:15:05

It's really convenient to be able

to maintain close ties to people in

283

: 00:15:10

your life, at least friends peers.

284

: 00:15:15

But it wasn't until like we, we were

taken out of that situation and of

285

: 00:15:20

convenience and it that aligned.

286

: 00:15:25

same time as some, some turbulence

in my like family life I really

287

: 00:15:32

was the catalyst for me to really

turn to relationships and establish

288

: 00:15:39

foundation beyond just a friendship.

289

: 00:15:42

In a more intentional way, I

think, like I had started to

290

: 00:15:45

build that foundation unknowingly.

291

: 00:15:48

When you start to experience

different things in your life, it

292

: 00:15:51

makes you reevaluate it, sort of

focus on what is important to you.

293

: 00:15:56

So that's definitely reasons.

294

: 00:16:00

A couple reasons why I started to seek

to create the, those bonds because

295

: 00:16:04

at a certain point, your parents

will leave you, your siblings, they

296

: 00:16:10

were with you for the whole ride, but

they're also creating their own life

297

: 00:16:14

And they're one.

298

: 00:16:15

Then one day they may have

families of their own.

299

: 00:16:18

So beyond like a family you create

through a, like a relationship or

300

: 00:16:23

a marriage, the your friendships.

301

: 00:16:27

For some that, that is their

family that they create.

302

: 00:16:30

So I think that's why it's so important

to me because I want to be able to

303

: 00:16:36

experience and walk through life somebody.

304

: 00:16:39

I just, want to be able

to witness someone's life.

305

: 00:16:43

And I think everybody seeks that, that

they want somebody to witness their

306

: 00:16:47

life moving through life together,

307

: 00:16:49

Changing.

308

: 00:16:51

Being messy, learning

309

: 00:16:54

Alexandra: Yeah.

310

: 00:16:55

Christine: all of those fun things.

311

: 00:16:57

Alexandra: You know, it's interesting, um,

it made me think of a few things my sister

312

: 00:17:01

and I would talk about when COVID was here

and we, everyone was at home and she was.

313

: 00:17:07

We were watching a lot of Blue Bloods

and we'd watch it with my mom and my dad.

314

: 00:17:10

And I think we had talked

about, like, our favorite thing

315

: 00:17:13

was the Sunday night dinners.

316

: 00:17:14

And, and granted, I mean, there

was a shows about a Catholic

317

: 00:17:17

family but I, I had said to my

sister, I'm like, I wanna do that.

318

: 00:17:20

I.

319

: 00:17:21

I'd wanna do that with your family

and Christine, with your family.

320

: 00:17:24

Like whether it's every week or

once a month or in a case if I'm

321

: 00:17:28

far away, you know, once every

few months we'll make an effort.

322

: 00:17:31

Like the idea of like coming together

and saying like, this is the time

323

: 00:17:34

that we all choose to put into

this family, however you define it.

324

: 00:17:38

I think there's something

really lovely about that kind of

325

: 00:17:40

coming together and sharing and.

326

: 00:17:44

Something about food that ties

us all together, but just sitting

327

: 00:17:47

down and saying, this is a space

that we're making for this whole,

328

: 00:17:50

whole relationship as a group.

329

: 00:17:52

And then on top of that, you're

like outside one-on-one times.

330

: 00:17:55

I don't know.

331

: 00:17:55

Just maybe think of that.

332

: 00:17:57

And I recently read caught up and in

there they were talking about like

333

: 00:18:01

doing like making their own family

dinner once a month or and the movie

334

: 00:18:06

you told me to watch, the life list.

335

: 00:18:07

I think at some point they do a family,

you know, friend dinner, and I think

336

: 00:18:11

there's something so lovely about that,

337

: 00:18:13

Christine: yeah.

338

: 00:18:14

It's it's, um, it's the perfect

way to sort of create a connection

339

: 00:18:20

with somebody breaking bread.

340

: 00:18:22

So to speak, but I also think like,

um, especially today, it's so important

341

: 00:18:28

because it's, you're so, you can so

easily get caught up in all of the noise

342

: 00:18:34

around you, all of this external, like

the whatever, like sounds pressure, like,

343

: 00:18:40

and it gives you an opportunity to sort

of block all of that out for an evening

344

: 00:18:45

or a day or whatever the case may be.

345

: 00:18:49

And sort of refocus and find center

again around the people who sort of

346

: 00:18:54

anchor you or bring you back down

to reality, I guess, so to speak.

347

: 00:19:01

Help you remember what's truly important.

348

: 00:19:03

And I think it's important to.

349

: 00:19:06

Just so like we sort of keep,

keep our wits about us, to speak.

350

: 00:19:12

So I love it too.

351

: 00:19:13

I, one of the things I loved growing

up was how intentional parents were

352

: 00:19:18

about making sure we all sat down

together to have dinner every night

353

: 00:19:23

and Saturday night in particular

was the biggest meal of the week.

354

: 00:19:28

There, it was.

355

: 00:19:30

A very special time for us, and

I definitely carry that through

356

: 00:19:35

in, in my life to this day.

357

: 00:19:37

I've also said to some of my closest

friends really would love for us to

358

: 00:19:43

start those traditions together where,

you know, we have a family like dinner

359

: 00:19:47

or a game night or, or whatever.

360

: 00:19:51

A sign, setting aside the time

to just be with each other.

361

: 00:19:55

Alexandra: I feel like that's a perfect

segue into kind of building found family.

362

: 00:20:00

So we started to touch on some

of this, but let's start off with

363

: 00:20:02

like how do you think your chosen

relationships have influenced your

364

: 00:20:07

identity or how you've wanted to work

on yourself and you know that process.

365

: 00:20:14

Christine: They've been

incredibly influential.

366

: 00:20:16

We've talked briefly before in previous

episodes about, some of the struggles

367

: 00:20:22

we've faced in recent years, and I truly

don't think I would be where I am today

368

: 00:20:29

without the people I have surrounding

me who have supported me, who have

369

: 00:20:33

listened to me, who have allowed me to

just cry and, get it out work through it.

370

: 00:20:41

Because I don't know if I honestly

would, would be able to it's really

371

: 00:20:44

hard to work through something

if it is causing you such pain.

372

: 00:20:49

It's people and that find it easier

to just sort of not address it.

373

: 00:20:55

But,

374

: 00:20:56

The relationships I've had have

been incredibly influential

375

: 00:21:00

in, in how helping me navigate.

376

: 00:21:03

Turbulent times and you know,

most recently kind of went through

377

: 00:21:06

some like turbulence at work.

378

: 00:21:11

it was, it's sort of been the first

time where like tension and conflict

379

: 00:21:16

has arisen since I left my last job.

380

: 00:21:19

In a way that I think that those

sorts of things will always

381

: 00:21:22

have a profound effect on me.

382

: 00:21:23

But I, I was able to and navigate

that situation because of what I've

383

: 00:21:28

been through and because of the

help my found family had provided

384

: 00:21:35

me, as my actual family have

385

: 00:21:38

Provided me during the, that

really, um, difficult time.

386

: 00:21:41

So

387

: 00:21:44

it's.

388

: 00:21:45

For me has had a huge

impact in how I've healed.

389

: 00:21:48

And in some way a piece of

them is a part of, of who I am.

390

: 00:21:53

All of who I am, but, I find it a great

privilege to know the, to know them and

391

: 00:21:58

to be able to call them friends, and

they have left an imprint on who I am,

392

: 00:22:09

which is so special and so beautiful.

393

: 00:22:13

Alexandra: What do you think makes

those bonds so powerful and so lasting?

394

: 00:22:18

Christine: I think just because they've

shaped, they've helped, shaped me

395

: 00:22:24

and helped shaped the friend, the

sister, the daughter that I am today.

396

: 00:22:29

I think without them I could be a, not

entirely different person, but it could

397

: 00:22:35

be a different person just because

each relationship a different mark on.

398

: 00:22:42

The two individuals involved

in that relationship.

399

: 00:22:44

So I think that's why

400

: 00:22:49

Alexandra: Nice.

401

: 00:22:49

Okay.

402

: 00:22:51

Christine: your turn my dear.

403

: 00:22:53

Please share how have your

children relationships influenced

404

: 00:22:57

your identity and healing?

405

: 00:23:01

Alexandra: Um, it's interesting you

mentioned high school earlier, and

406

: 00:23:05

I feel like high school I was trying

to figure out who I was, right?

407

: 00:23:08

Like I.

408

: 00:23:09

I think at my core, I've always

been who I am, and I don't

409

: 00:23:12

think some of that's changed.

410

: 00:23:14

But I feel like in high school I

was definitely trying on different

411

: 00:23:17

personalities, trying to figure

out where I fit because me

412

: 00:23:19

didn't feel like it fit anywhere.

413

: 00:23:21

So kind of trying out different groups

and I think I really did that in college.

414

: 00:23:24

I was involved in a lot

and, um, just trying to.

415

: 00:23:29

Christine: Sometimes I'm like,

how are you still standing?

416

: 00:23:32

You were in like this fraternity,

this sorority, this dance team, this.

417

: 00:23:37

was like, you were working

in the registrar office and

418

: 00:23:40

a, or the admissions office.

419

: 00:23:41

And I was like, and you're still

going to school and maintaining

420

: 00:23:45

friendships and a relationship.

421

: 00:23:47

I was like, girl.

422

: 00:23:49

Alexandra: I think, I don't know

what I, I don't know if I was

423

: 00:23:51

running from like being alone or

something, or like on my own, but I

424

: 00:23:55

remember, do you remember my planner?

425

: 00:23:57

I had that thing scheduled out to be hour.

426

: 00:23:59

I loved that thing.

427

: 00:24:00

That was a crazy time.

428

: 00:24:02

I should never go back to that.

429

: 00:24:03

I should never be that

obsessed with my planner.

430

: 00:24:06

But, uh, I mean, there were color

coded blocks and whatnot, so, but yeah,

431

: 00:24:09

Christine: organized and

432

: 00:24:10

Alexandra: it was.

433

: 00:24:12

Christine: inspiring for me

who I would say I'm a pretty

434

: 00:24:14

organized person, but you are you.

435

: 00:24:18

Being your friend made me

wanna be better, so thank you

436

: 00:24:21

Alexandra: Oh, thank you.

437

: 00:24:22

And uh, Christine, I think your

friendship has taught me to go

438

: 00:24:25

a little bit more with the flow.

439

: 00:24:28

So I think we provided a nice balance

back and forth because I think otherwise

440

: 00:24:31

I'd be like, oh my gosh, I gotta be

up at five and I gotta be a bed dad.

441

: 00:24:35

So, um.

442

: 00:24:37

So I think I started to like narrow in

more in college, like who, who I was.

443

: 00:24:41

And then

444

: 00:24:43

there were certain friendships and

certain aspects of like, people

445

: 00:24:47

I thought were my found family.

446

: 00:24:49

And for a period of time, I know we

talked about this in one of our friendship

447

: 00:24:52

episodes, I think back in March.

448

: 00:24:54

Kind of like how some people

in your life to be boosters on

449

: 00:24:57

a rocket, but they fall away.

450

: 00:24:58

And when I had.

451

: 00:25:00

Within the first year or two of moving

to North Carolina, I had thought,

452

: 00:25:03

I found a group of people that were

friends who were my found family here,

453

: 00:25:08

who were, who became my community,

454

: 00:25:12

and how they shaped my

identity and healing.

455

: 00:25:15

They,

456

: 00:25:17

I feel like they really.

457

: 00:25:19

Helped me kind of come back to the core

of myself, figure out where that core

458

: 00:25:25

was, what, you know, like my interest

in metaphysics and spirituality.

459

: 00:25:29

That's a huge part of who I am.

460

: 00:25:31

It's something I love and talk

about pretty much almost every day.

461

: 00:25:34

And kind of to like.

462

: 00:25:35

Uncover her and like dust her off because

she was hidden between like the love of

463

: 00:25:39

art history and then museums and then

this aspect and needing to be this way.

464

: 00:25:42

So I was like, okay, how do I integrate?

465

: 00:25:45

So I, I really credit with them

with, um, how they influenced me,

466

: 00:25:48

kind of pulling that stuff back out.

467

: 00:25:51

And I think being around them and.

468

: 00:25:55

From a, an outside perspective, seeing

things that they did that I was like, oh,

469

: 00:25:58

I do not, I do not want that for myself.

470

: 00:26:01

How do I, you know, work

on something in therapy?

471

: 00:26:04

So I don't, I don't go down that

path, or I don't kind of devolve into,

472

: 00:26:10

you know, bitterness or in action.

473

: 00:26:13

So I feel like they pushed me

in a different direction, and

474

: 00:26:17

I feel like because of them.

475

: 00:26:19

And I know we'll talk about a

little, a little bit later, like

476

: 00:26:22

challenges of found family leaving

that group deepening our friendship.

477

: 00:26:27

Figuring out how I wanna be closer with

my sister and some other relationships

478

: 00:26:30

I have now started to feel like I'm

finding my found family out here.

479

: 00:26:35

Still miss my found family

from California dearly.

480

: 00:26:38

Oh, I wish I could see them

more often, but I'm like, okay.

481

: 00:26:42

Certain people along the way have really.

482

: 00:26:45

Kind of helped me tailor

almost like, like a sculpture.

483

: 00:26:47

I'm gonna go to art history, art, um,

like a sculpture kind of chipping away.

484

: 00:26:51

And I feel like finally the, the

underlying sculpture is, is really

485

: 00:26:56

taking more of its final shape and

form, like kind of narrowing in.

486

: 00:27:00

Before I think we were like out

here and it's kind of a blah.

487

: 00:27:04

And now we're kind of

getting some more detail.

488

: 00:27:06

But

489

: 00:27:07

Christine: Sure.

490

: 00:27:07

Alexandra: I think massively

influential in terms of like, okay.

491

: 00:27:11

Who am I?

492

: 00:27:12

Who do I wanna be?

493

: 00:27:12

How do I wanna show up?

494

: 00:27:14

Which has sparked a lot of desire to heal.

495

: 00:27:17

And, um, you know, I know we've had

major conversations around things like my

496

: 00:27:22

eating disorder, things that like anxiety.

497

: 00:27:25

We've had conversations around

and how do we deal with that?

498

: 00:27:28

And so I feel like this is super,

super beneficial to have people

499

: 00:27:31

who either understand or like.

500

: 00:27:33

Can bounce ideas off of you.

501

: 00:27:34

Say, have you thought about this?

502

: 00:27:35

Let me listen to you, let me, let

me talk to you and share ideas.

503

: 00:27:38

And I think that's so important.

504

: 00:27:41

Christine: Absolutely.

505

: 00:27:41

So

506

: 00:27:44

off of that.

507

: 00:27:46

role do communities play

in creating a found family?

508

: 00:27:50

Like you were sort of just talking about

how essentially when you moved down to

509

: 00:27:56

North Carolina you found a group that

reignite your love for all things.

510

: 00:28:03

Woo.

511

: 00:28:06

You can obviously expand more on

that, but, despite things with

512

: 00:28:10

those relationships changing it,

it had a lasting effect on you.

513

: 00:28:13

So how, let's dive in a little

more and go beyond that maybe, and

514

: 00:28:17

talk about what role communities I,

whether it be artistic, spiritual,

515

: 00:28:21

work related what role they play

in creating your found family.

516

: 00:28:27

Alexandra: I think it's a

really interesting thing, right?

517

: 00:28:29

Because kind of a fine line between a

community and a found family, right?

518

: 00:28:33

I.

519

: 00:28:33

You were talking about things that,

you know, there may be some aspect

520

: 00:28:36

of trauma bond or aspect of identity.

521

: 00:28:40

Uh, like let's say you're an artistic

person and you're gonna be drawn to

522

: 00:28:42

more artistic people in, in artistic

community, and I think it helps you, I

523

: 00:28:49

find similar like-minded individuals.

524

: 00:28:54

I think what happened for me with

that, the group I was talking about

525

: 00:28:58

is I, I thought, I was like, oh,

I found a community interested

526

: 00:29:00

in spiritual things and then I.

527

: 00:29:02

A conflated community and

found family together.

528

: 00:29:08

Like without figuring out the

deeper bonds of found family.

529

: 00:29:13

I was like, oh, okay.

530

: 00:29:14

This is, I don't know.

531

: 00:29:16

I feel like it's a fine hair

to split right sometimes.

532

: 00:29:18

I think communities can help

lead you to people of similar

533

: 00:29:22

minds who then you can share.

534

: 00:29:24

More with outside of that one

community, whether it be work,

535

: 00:29:29

whether it be a spiritual community,

whether it be artistic political,

536

: 00:29:33

if that's your thing, like anything.

537

: 00:29:36

But if you can take some of those

relationships and people that you meet

538

: 00:29:38

and kind of expand it beyond that initial.

539

: 00:29:42

Tie.

540

: 00:29:43

I feel like that's where the

bridge between a community

541

: 00:29:47

helping you find your people into

developing those found family ties.

542

: 00:29:53

But it's a great place to start.

543

: 00:29:55

I feel like that's, it's

a good place to start.

544

: 00:29:57

And then sometimes I think, you

know, on the other end you can

545

: 00:30:00

go, oh, I found this community.

546

: 00:30:01

And you're like, oh, nevermind.

547

: 00:30:03

I do not, do not wanna make

closer ties with these people, you

548

: 00:30:06

know, or like these individuals.

549

: 00:30:07

So.

550

: 00:30:09

I feel like that's where I'm falling

with like how com the role of communities

551

: 00:30:14

and specific communities kind of play a

part in finding found family ties with

552

: 00:30:19

something I might still be playing with.

553

: 00:30:20

What do you think Christine?

554

: 00:30:22

Christine: I, I certainly think it's a

convenient way to build off of it, it

555

: 00:30:28

offers you sort of like a, not like a

built in jumping off point, but it's

556

: 00:30:35

obviously a commonality that ties you

together with a group of people and

557

: 00:30:39

then from there can allow you to build,

excuse me, to build a deeper bond.

558

: 00:30:44

I think the different communities

you may find yourself in may, aren't

559

: 00:30:50

necessarily the best place to build

a deeper, like when it comes to work,

560

: 00:30:54

sometimes it's very tricky to sort

of incorporate a deeper relationship

561

: 00:30:59

with a work relationship relationship.

562

: 00:31:03

Some people do it and that's amazing, but.

563

: 00:31:07

It can often lead to sometimes like

a toxic environment or like a toxic

564

: 00:31:12

But I think that's because

there's a breakdown in boundaries.

565

: 00:31:16

So I,

566

: 00:31:21

I think the takeaway is

everything takes work and,

567

: 00:31:25

Alexandra: Yeah.

568

: 00:31:26

Christine: And so I think just to

circle back around to the point

569

: 00:31:29

of around like what com, how

community plays a role, I think it

570

: 00:31:36

plays a very big role.

571

: 00:31:38

And, but it doesn't, it's

not necessarily the only way.

572

: 00:31:42

But it's certainly a convenient way if

573

: 00:31:45

Alexandra: Absolutely.

574

: 00:31:46

I know.

575

: 00:31:47

Christine: incredibly important.

576

: 00:31:48

They're very helpful, and the beauty

is if one community isn't working for

577

: 00:31:54

you, there's another one out there

for you to go find and introduce

578

: 00:31:59

yourself to and see who you meet from

579

: 00:32:02

Alexandra: Mm-hmm.

580

: 00:32:03

Yeah.

581

: 00:32:04

You mentioned something important there.

582

: 00:32:06

I feel like boundaries and dynamics.

583

: 00:32:09

Can you expand a little bit more

on that in terms of found family?

584

: 00:32:12

Christine: Well, I think,

585

: 00:32:16

I

586

: 00:32:16

Alexandra: I.

587

: 00:32:17

Christine: it, it can

be easily assumed that

588

: 00:32:23

if you use the word family, sometimes,

if people think there's an, they're the

589

: 00:32:27

exception to your boundaries, but I think.

590

: 00:32:33

And something I've really been learning a

lot in recent years is just how important

591

: 00:32:38

they are every relationship you have.

592

: 00:32:40

And no relationship is an exception

to a bound and to, to your boundaries.

593

: 00:32:44

They're there for your safety as well

as the safety of the other person

594

: 00:32:48

you're in a have a relationship with.

595

: 00:32:53

and just because your family or because

you c call somebody your family doesn't.

596

: 00:33:01

Excuse them from

597

: 00:33:05

the boundaries you have.

598

: 00:33:06

And I think it's also important for

you to remember as well boundaries

599

: 00:33:11

you have and why they're in place.

600

: 00:33:13

And

601

: 00:33:16

so that's kind of what sort of came

to mind initially is when is the

602

: 00:33:20

idea of like, just because you call

someone in your family doesn't mean

603

: 00:33:26

that your boundaries disappear.

604

: 00:33:29

Alexandra: And I think

605

: 00:33:29

Christine: should be reaffirmed

606

: 00:33:31

Alexandra: I.

607

: 00:33:31

Christine: they should

be stronger than ever.

608

: 00:33:34

Alexandra: I think some found

family members can help you not

609

: 00:33:37

even establish, but reinforce those

boundaries in, in a very positive way.

610

: 00:33:41

They'd be like, no, hey,

don't let anyone cross that.

611

: 00:33:43

And in a way that maybe even, you know,

blood family will not because they do

612

: 00:33:47

think that they're at the exception.

613

: 00:33:48

So there's that beautiful dynamic.

614

: 00:33:51

Christine: because I think,

and we may have even mentioned

615

: 00:33:53

this in a prior conversation.

616

: 00:33:57

Because those people, the family you're

born into, they're there when you're born.

617

: 00:34:03

They like

618

: 00:34:09

they're incredibly influential.

619

: 00:34:10

But as you are growing and establishing

your own boundaries, they're,

620

: 00:34:17

there's sometimes like a, it.

621

: 00:34:21

A conflict that may arise because

they're like, what do you mean

622

: 00:34:24

you have these boundaries?

623

: 00:34:25

Now you didn't, when you

624

: 00:34:26

Like

625

: 00:34:28

Kid.

626

: 00:34:28

I'm like, well, because I

didn't know what boundaries was.

627

: 00:34:30

And that's frankly because

there was an issue on your end.

628

: 00:34:34

Like you, you weren't setting boundaries,

you weren't setting an example.

629

: 00:34:37

So now that I am the precedent of this is

my boundary, can't be butt hurt about it.

630

: 00:34:45

Alexandra: And I know you and I both

have had like very long conversations

631

: 00:34:47

with each other about certain family

members or found family members who've

632

: 00:34:50

done that to us and we're like, I do.

633

: 00:34:53

What do we do?

634

: 00:34:54

What do we do?

635

: 00:34:55

Yeah.

636

: 00:34:56

Christine: Yeah.

637

: 00:34:56

And it, I think it truly just comes down

to how you are going to react to them,

638

: 00:35:01

That's the only thing you can control.

639

: 00:35:02

Alexandra: Yeah.

640

: 00:35:03

Christine: and sometimes

it requires you to weigh.

641

: 00:35:10

Weigh the scale of, is this a battle

I wanna fight or is this something?

642

: 00:35:17

'cause I don't think necessarily

you can appease a situation without

643

: 00:35:21

giving into breaking a boundary,

644

: 00:35:24

That makes sense.

645

: 00:35:24

Alexandra: Yeah.

646

: 00:35:25

Christine: um, I know we've had

conversations about that idea of

647

: 00:35:28

like, where you've come to me and

say like, I just really don't know

648

: 00:35:32

how to get through to this person.

649

: 00:35:34

And I think.

650

: 00:35:36

The answer sometimes is like, there is

no way to get through to them and you

651

: 00:35:40

just need to meet them where they are.

652

: 00:35:43

But no like I definitely have

people in my life of I know

653

: 00:35:47

what I have, who I have to be

654

: 00:35:50

To, I don't wanna say stomach being around

them, but like to protect my peace and

655

: 00:35:57

Alexandra: Yeah.

656

: 00:35:57

Christine: myself by being around.

657

: 00:35:59

When being around them is like, I

know what character I have to play

658

: 00:36:02

or what level I reveal of my, of

659

: 00:36:06

Like what layer, what layers

I'm peeling back to that person.

660

: 00:36:10

Yeah,

661

: 00:36:10

Alexandra: Yeah.

662

: 00:36:10

Yeah.

663

: 00:36:13

So I,

664

: 00:36:14

Christine: where are

665

: 00:36:15

Alexandra: I feel like that's a nice tie

into like navigating change or conflict.

666

: 00:36:20

Within found families, right?

667

: 00:36:22

So we talked a little

bit about boundaries.

668

: 00:36:24

Hopefully they're the ones that

will reinforce, help you reinforce

669

: 00:36:27

your boundaries and respect them.

670

: 00:36:30

Okay.

671

: 00:36:30

What happens when you come to

a challenge or like a difficult

672

: 00:36:33

time with a found family member?

673

: 00:36:35

What, how do you navigate that?

674

: 00:36:40

Christine: Luckily I haven't had

too many of those situations.

675

: 00:36:44

But when, when conflict does

arise, I think the important

676

: 00:36:48

thing is to address it head on.

677

: 00:36:51

And there's a way to do it kindly and,

but you all, but you also have to keep

678

: 00:36:57

in mind, like you may wanna address

it, but the other person may not.

679

: 00:37:02

So finding the balance, but I

ultimately, I think the best way

680

: 00:37:05

to, to deal with conflict is to just

show up with kindness and be like,

681

: 00:37:09

Hey, so something's off here and

682

: 00:37:12

Need to figure out what's going

on rather than just ignoring it.

683

: 00:37:16

Because by ignoring it, resentment can

build, or conflict can get even bigger and

684

: 00:37:22

like it could reach a breaking point where

the relationship is irreparably damaged

685

: 00:37:27

and there is no coming back from it.

686

: 00:37:29

So

687

: 00:37:32

I think accepting that

change is a part of life.

688

: 00:37:36

And knowing that are never gonna stay the

same and conflict will ultimately come up

689

: 00:37:42

Alexandra: Yeah.

690

: 00:37:46

Christine: can help you come to terms

and find peace with it and just know

691

: 00:37:50

like, okay, we have reached one of those

times, let's move through it together.

692

: 00:37:55

But how about you?

693

: 00:37:56

How do you, how have you navigated.

694

: 00:38:01

Alexandra: Well, I like, first of all,

I like what you said about change.

695

: 00:38:04

Things will always change.

696

: 00:38:05

And I think sometimes within found

family particularly like if you're

697

: 00:38:09

changing and you're growing, sometimes

that's where like a rub can come.

698

: 00:38:13

Like somebody doesn't want you to change.

699

: 00:38:15

They like your relationship as it is.

700

: 00:38:18

And I think that was my experience

with the difficulty with that,

701

: 00:38:21

that one group I was talking about,

who I thought was my found family.

702

: 00:38:24

It was like I was, I was changing and I

don't know that they wanted me to, nor

703

: 00:38:28

Were they willing to see me that way.

704

: 00:38:31

And

705

: 00:38:32

Christine: you.

706

: 00:38:33

Alexandra: yeah,

707

: 00:38:36

and I think sometimes with

the difficulty there are like.

708

: 00:38:39

Part of what I think makes found

family so special and those bonds so

709

: 00:38:44

impactful is the choice to be there

like you are choosing these people.

710

: 00:38:49

Um, and I feel like that's a

lot that's more active than

711

: 00:38:52

like, oh, I was born into this.

712

: 00:38:54

And I think for me, when,

when I've had difficulty.

713

: 00:38:58

I like how you said you show up with

kindness, talk things out, face it,

714

: 00:39:02

head on, and for, for found family

relationships that you wanna keep, that

715

: 00:39:07

I, I think is absolutely the way to

navigate any sort of challenging time.

716

: 00:39:11

If it is consistently pulling

you down, you don't feel good.

717

: 00:39:16

You almost kind of get to that point,

Christine, where you like your show,

718

: 00:39:19

you know what character, what persona to

put on when you're around them just to.

719

: 00:39:23

To stomach to make it through.

720

: 00:39:25

I feel like that's a good indication of

like, Hey, maybe I need to evaluate this.

721

: 00:39:29

Is this found family tie really

beneficial to me as an individual, to

722

: 00:39:37

that person, because it's a choice, right?

723

: 00:39:40

You're choosing that person to be in

life and I think at some point you

724

: 00:39:42

can also choose if it goes really

wrong or you just kind of go, this is.

725

: 00:39:49

Wow, this maybe really

wasn't a found family tie.

726

: 00:39:51

And this was like a friendship

for a season and a reason.

727

: 00:39:53

Figuring out how to extricate

yourself without hard feelings.

728

: 00:39:56

And I think that's a difficult part

when you let family, like found family

729

: 00:40:00

ties go without, bitterness or you know,

that may take time, that may be may not

730

: 00:40:07

happen when you break those ties, but.

731

: 00:40:09

I feel at some point there's

an evaluation of like, is this

732

: 00:40:11

a relationship I wanna have?

733

: 00:40:13

Is this a family, like a friend

who's a family member at this point?

734

: 00:40:17

Do we want this?

735

: 00:40:19

Is this best for both parties?

736

: 00:40:20

Christine: Definitely.

737

: 00:40:23

Sometimes you gotta make those hard

decisions and it hurts and it sucks.

738

: 00:40:27

And remembering that you can't,

the other party involved is gonna

739

: 00:40:33

have their own feelings and react.

740

: 00:40:36

In a way you can't control and just,

741

: 00:40:40

I think ultimately remembering to take

care of yourself is what's most important

742

: 00:40:47

when a relationship like that comes

to an end and wish them well and move

743

: 00:40:54

and trying, moving on, moving forward.

744

: 00:40:58

Not easy, but it's important.

745

: 00:41:00

Alexandra: still hanging on to stuff

from like years ago, and trying to

746

: 00:41:03

work through, letting stuff go, but

747

: 00:41:06

Christine: sure.

748

: 00:41:07

But I could probably guess

that it's not quite the same

749

: 00:41:11

Alexandra: I,

750

: 00:41:11

Christine: as it was a

751

: 00:41:13

Alexandra: oh,

752

: 00:41:13

Christine: ago, or even five years ago.

753

: 00:41:15

Mean, those things that stick with

us are sticking with us for a reason.

754

: 00:41:19

Hopefully you are working through why

it's sticking with you and it's not doing

755

: 00:41:24

you harm, but hopefully it's helping

you in a positive way which takes work

756

: 00:41:29

and understanding, talking it out.

757

: 00:41:32

Alexandra: Yeah, I think there's

something about found family.

758

: 00:41:34

It's like the choice to be there, the

work that both parties are putting

759

: 00:41:37

into those relationship and those ties.

760

: 00:41:40

Yeah, because it's not something to

be taken for granted, it's not like,

761

: 00:41:43

Christine: definitely.

762

: 00:41:44

Alexandra: just because somebody's a

found family member doesn't mean you

763

: 00:41:46

can be the worst version of the worst

version of yourself all the time.

764

: 00:41:50

If they don't need to take that

and they don't have to take that.

765

: 00:41:54

Christine: Absolutely.

766

: 00:41:56

Awesome.

767

: 00:41:58

Alexandra: I feel like we've, we've

kind of addressed if, if that can

768

: 00:42:02

found family be more transformative

than a traditional family.

769

: 00:42:07

What do

770

: 00:42:07

Christine: I think so too.

771

: 00:42:08

Alexandra: you think?

772

: 00:42:08

Okay.

773

: 00:42:09

Christine: No, definitely.

774

: 00:42:10

I think I think , they definitely have.

775

: 00:42:15

Just as great an impact or even greater

impact on you than your own family.

776

: 00:42:20

And for some people that's all they have.

777

: 00:42:23

Most definitely.

778

: 00:42:24

Awesome.

779

: 00:42:25

All righty.

780

: 00:42:26

As we wrap up today's episode,

we hope this conversation has

781

: 00:42:29

sparked some reflection on the

relationships that shape your life.

782

: 00:42:33

Whether it's a handful of close friends,

a supportive community, or the people

783

: 00:42:37

who simply show up when you need them.

784

: 00:42:39

The most found family reminds us that

love isn't limited to bloodlines.

785

: 00:42:44

we can choose, something we can build.

786

: 00:42:47

And in doing so, we often find

the belonging, healing, and

787

: 00:42:51

connection we've been looking for.

788

: 00:42:53

So here's to the ones who've become

family and to continuing to create

789

: 00:42:57

spaces where we can show up for each

other with care, intention, and love.

790

: 00:43:02

Thank you so much for listening,

and we'll see you next time.