Overthinkers Anonymous

Christine: 00:00:11

Hello, and welcome to The Mirror Project.

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We are your host, Christine.

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Alexandra: And Alexandra,

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Christine: And we are so

glad you're joining us.

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Have you ever found yourself

caught in a whirlwind of

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thoughts, unable to move forward?

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You're not alone.

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Overthinking can be a paralyzing

force, turning simple decisions

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into overwhelming dilemmas.

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In today's episode, we'll journey through

personal stories, insightful quotes,

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and practical advice to help you break

free from the cycle of overthinking.

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Join us as we explore the

traps and discover effective

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strategies to overcome it.

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let's embrace the present moment together

and find clarity amidst the chaos.

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Alexandra: Before we delve into today's

riveting topic, make sure to hit that

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like subscribe or follow button on

your favorite listening platform.

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Take a moment to do it now

before it slips your mind.

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Trust us.

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We're not getting started without you.

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Let's make this journey together.

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Christine: let's roll right into our

first topic of conversation today.

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Feeling a little unprepared, but

I'm not going to overthink it.

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And we're just going

to roll right through.

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All

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Alexandra: Very on

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Christine: Yes, very on theme.

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so this conversation all started many

months ago like a lot of things in

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preparation for different topics for

our episodes, Alex, Alexandra and I send

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each other different things that we find

on Instagram or Tik Tok or whatever.

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And, I believe I came across this first

but it's a quote from the book, The

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Horse, The Boy, The Fox, and the Mole.

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and in the quote, the boy says,

I can't see a way through.

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And the horse says, Can

you see your next step?

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The boy says, yes, and the

horse says, then just take that.

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And I remember how I felt when I first

saw that video, and I honestly love

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all of the videos that I've seen.

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And I just remember how I felt

when I first saw that, but

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what's your first reaction,

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Alexandra: I remember the video

somewhat, and it was kind of a

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cool watercolor animated effect.

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And it was very calming.

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I just remember the way the boy sounded,

the voice that they did for the horse.

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It was all very calming and it

was very much oh yeah, sometimes

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it's really just that simple.

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Christine: Yeah.

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Alexandra: Then it's wow, we really

do get trapped in the I can see a way

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through, but I'm just not willing to

take it because I want to think about

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A and then Z and then, you know, back

to K and then maybe B and, you know,

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but step is number C and we just, or

letter C and we don't want to take it.

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So I think that's also an

important distinction and

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that made me think about this.

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It's, we can see a way out and

sometimes it's, we just don't want

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to take that step, but it could be

as simple as, do you just take that

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step?

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Christine: I think also we, are inundated

so much and it all gets overwhelming and

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I heard once this this other saying that

was so eloquently put and it's simple.

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It's just existing is exhausting.

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So that coupled with videos like this just

help me remember okay, this, sometimes

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it just is all a little bit too much.

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And we can build up taking that step.

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But it's truly can just be very simple.

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And if you just try and sometimes it's

hard to just block out all of the noise

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and just focus on one step at a time.

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I just felt when I first saw this,

it was a beautiful reminder about

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how simple it can boil down to.

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But I think as I've gotten older

and I feel like I've always

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struggled with this is You build

something so big in your head.

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So it was just a nice reminder.

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Alexandra: what would you say

is the significance of the

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horse's advice to the boy then?

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Christine: I think it's it's quite simple.

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It's helping him refocus on

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what's in front of him rather

than the bigger picture.

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, focus on one step at a time or one

bite at a time, or, you know, like

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just taking it moment by moment and

not always being worried about what's

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coming a hundred steps down the line.

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Alexandra: So since you've already

mentioned it before, that you've

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struggled with this throughout your

life beyond what you've already

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mentioned, how does this quote relate

to your experiences over thinking

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Christine: I definitely have

experienced paralysis when it comes

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to my struggles with overthinking.

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I get caught up in thinking about how

we talked about in the joy episode.

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I get, I can get caught up in and thinking

about all of the what ifs around a

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certain situation that I'm particularly

feeling a lot of anxiety about.

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I feel like my overthinking ramps

up when I'm anxious and overwhelmed.

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And then that feeds into me ending up in

a spiral because then I'm just paralyzed

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where I'm at and I can't move forward.

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Alexandra: Can I ask a question

about your spiraling of whatevs?

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So you mentioned about what if happens,

how far in those whatevs do you go?

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Is it just past this first decision

or do you even build on top of?

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You know, when you get to

point B, the what ifs of point

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Christine: I can, yeah,

especially if my anxiety around a.

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If I have to make a decision or if I

have to do something like if I'm, if my

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anxiety is high around that particular

thing, I'll go from what if to what if.

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Another thing that sometimes happens

is and I think it's become sort of a

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protective measure for myself in an effort

to sort of curtail becoming, becoming

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So I sort of shut my brain off

and I try not to think about it.

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And I procrastinate in other areas.

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But then I get anxious.

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Because I know I need to start

thinking about it and I know I need

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to like, eventually make a first step.

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So that's kind of funny.

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I don't know if anybody

else can relate to that, but

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Alexandra: I'm sure there

are many people who can,

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Christine: yeah it's an interesting thing.

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I actually had dealt with

that rather recently.

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I just It coupled with, I was

really busy at the time as well.

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So at the end of the day, I didn't want

to have to think about something that

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was going to make me anxious and spiral.

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So I just would be like, Oh,

I'll deal with that tomorrow.

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Alexandra: I remember one of those

conversations, I think you had said to

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After we had talked about this for a

while and after a couple of days, you're

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like this hasn't been really helpful.

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And I said, yep, I'm honestly

not trying to be at this point.

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Okay.

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So conversely, you've done the spiraling

of the what ifs and the anxiety and

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the anxiousness building on that.

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Have you ever experienced a situation

where you couldn't see a way forward

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to it's almost like you couldn't even

spiral because the what ifs were not

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happening, but you almost wanted to.

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What was that like?

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If you've experienced it.

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Christine: trying to think.

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I'm sure I have.

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I think like situations

like this come up when

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when I don't do the, I feel like the what

if spiral is a byproduct of me knowing

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I can see my way through something.

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But this sort of situation is I could

have resigned myself to the fact

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I'm never going to get through this.

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So in this situation, it's a different

way of shutting down because I'm trying

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to pinpoint a particular example.

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And I, and one's not really coming to

mind right now, but I kind of have.

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Recollections of feeling this way.

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It doesn't happen very often.

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And if it happened and.

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it hasn't happened recently, like in

my adult life since I've graduated

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college, knock on wood, I think.

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But I think it's because I'm very blessed

to have wonderful friends and family that

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I can go to when I'm in those moments.

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If I don't see a way forward, I go

to them, I ask for their advice.

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And that's a really great first step.

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So if somebody's struggling with what

that first step could be, it could

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be as simple as talk to somebody you

trust you know, call your person who

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sort of Is a good touchstone for you.

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So I'm turning the tables and

asking you these questions now.

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What do you think the significance

is of the horse's advice to the boy

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Alexandra: I think it's experience.

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I think the significance is

experience to be able to say,

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then just take the first step.

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If we think of the boy, like being

a little boy, you're kind of in

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the early stages of your life,

you're figuring everything out.

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And in this case, to me, I kind of hear

the horse as like an older grandparent

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type figure?

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like

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Sage was like wisdom, but

also from my own experience.

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And I know I talked about it quite

openly going through therapy.

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I mean, I can, there are moments where

it's I can almost separate different parts

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of my thoughts out and be like, ah, okay.

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I am spiraling here.

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And then it's almost like another part

of me comes in and goes you know, the

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next step, just the next step, take that.

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And and that's come through months

in therapy again to work to not get

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caught up in some of that anxiety

that you mentioned, Christine,

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that can come with overthinking.

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I think, I don't know that they're

necessarily mutually inclusive, but

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I do think that they are very much.

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Can be intertwined.

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So I think the significance is experience

to be able to say just take the next step.

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And I guess it is very much

related to your thinking.

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I mean whether it's just in actions of a

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kind of low risk Not super

high consequences situation

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of what do you want to eat for

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dinner To make your life decisions?

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This can be very applicable to

just say you know your next step.

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You don't know what you want for dinner?

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Go to the grocery store.

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You don't know what you want out of life?

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First step is writing the

things that you do want, or

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the things that you don't want.

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You know, taking a small step.

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It doesn't have to be a giant stride.

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It just has to be the next step.

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And I think that's sometimes a really

beautiful part of that conversation.

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It's I can't see my way through.

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I can't see my way through the

whole solution to the end point.

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And we're just, can

you see your next step?

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The voice says yes.

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So then just take that one step,

like you don't have to have the whole

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thing solved today, which as Christine

knows, and if you have listened to

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this podcast for a while, I like to

know where we end up before I start.

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So life does not often work that way,

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Christine: No.

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No.

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It doesn't.

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Alexandra: so let's jump now into

The trap of overthinking, which

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I think we've started to briefly

touch on, but Christine, can you

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tell me what overthinking is to you?

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And what are some common triggers

that you experienced throughout

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your life that'll start that spiral?

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You mentioned.

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Christine: Overthinking to me is when

I'm trapped in the wide screen view of

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a situation and I'm constantly trying to

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figure out how something's gonna play out.

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Some common anxiety, stress,

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If I'm going through a bout of insomnia

or if I'm getting proper sleep.

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I don't know if I've

mentioned that before.

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I do struggle with insomnia.

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It's not something that I struggle

with constantly and I feel for

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people who struggle with that.

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But mine is triggered by stress.

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And it is.

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Another form of paralysis because

in my head, if I go to sleep, like I

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can't shut my brain off enough to go to

sleep, to rest, to wake up refreshed,

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to look at the situation differently.

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So those are some common triggers

and what I see overthinking as,

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but Alexandra, what about you?

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How did, how does that look for you?

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Alexandra: Well, to me, overthinking

is very much, alliterative set of words

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here, mental mastication on the situation.

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So like to masticate, to chew, and

you're constantly chewing over this

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thought, which is in your head.

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And it's so interesting.

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I go to see an acupuncturist and I hope

I'm getting this right the Gallbladder

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channel, meridian channel, is the one

that's kind of related to digestion,

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but not only just physical digestion

of food, but digestion of our thoughts.

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And so sometimes when I'm stewing

things over and I can't quite get to

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the point to take my next step, and I,

and if I happen to be going to see my

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acupuncturist, he'll be like checking

my pulses and he's so your gallbladder

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channels a little bit I've been thinking

about this and, you know, this has

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been sticking around for a while.

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So it's quite interesting to see

that, you know, it's not just

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also chewing, but the digestion.

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Sometimes we can think Oh, I've

made a decision, but still the

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overthinking part of our brain is

still lurking back there and going,

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Nope, I'm still digesting on it.

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I'm still stewing on it.

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Common triggers, similar to Christine, I

feel like stress can be, but also I think

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it's one of those cyclical and recursive

relationships with Stress Stress can

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cause overthinking, overthinking can cause

stress, and we're just stuck in the cycle.

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I think subject wise, triggers that

can cause me to overthink are, you

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know, my entrepreneurial activities.

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I mean, sometimes this podcast,

I'll get in a moment of oh my gosh.

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Overthinking and then

it's just Nope, I'm sorry.

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I understand this anxiety is coming

up or, you know, even my other

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business or you, my master's program

or trying to figure out what I want

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to do for the rest of the life.

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Whoa, let's get out of

that eagle eye view.

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And let's just focus on today or tomorrow

or this decision, because quite frankly,

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the longer I stew on the bigger parts.

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Or the whole, how it's all going to fit

together, what it's all going to look

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like, the more I'm distracting myself from

getting to and through the step I can see.

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So I would say that's my common

triggers and overthinking.

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So I know we've mentioned it, anxiety,

stress, but how else can this affect

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your overall mental health and

therefore your daily life and wellbeing

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outside of your insomnia, Christina?

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Cause I feel like you've mentioned that.

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Christine: Yeah, that's a big one for me

is is when my insomnia starts acting up.

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Other ways it affects my mental wellbeing.

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I mean, when I'm really struggling,

one of the beautiful compliments people

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give me, and you've mentioned is that.

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I have a glow about me.

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So like when I'm feeling good mentally,

physically that shows bright, shines

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brightly as if we, if I should

continue with that analogy, but

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one of the, one of the things

that I think is a visual when I'm

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stuck In this mode of overthinking

stress, I'm not sleeping well.

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That's significantly dimmed

and people can tell immediately

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I don't have a poker face.

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I really,

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I I mean, I wear my heart on my sleeve.

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So

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That's another toll it takes on me

mentally, but also it becomes a trigger

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for other people in my life to be

like, okay, what's going on, Christine?

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Like you're not yourself.

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And I remember there was a time in

high school you know, high school is

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a very short amount of time, but you

changed so much in those four years.

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More so than I think college, because

when you enter your 14 and when you end

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your 18 and so much changes for you in

those four years I think the next biggest,

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like Chunk of time that you change a

lot is just the decade of your twenties.

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But the first time I truly struggled

with overthinking depression and sound

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like my insomnia was really raging was.

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Junior year into senior year of high

school, which is a very stressful

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time for all teenagers, because if

you're looking to go into college,

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that's a very key time for you.

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You're doing the testing, you're writing

your essays, you're visiting colleges.

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You're trying to figure out like, what

are we going to do with our lives?

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And then add on top of that, like

the bullshit of being a teenager and,

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People being shitty and all of that.

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It was the first time in my life.

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I lost a grandparent

like dealt with a lot.

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So that was the first time I

started to struggle with depression.

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I'm very grateful it didn't manifest

severely, but I look back on that and I'm

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like, yeah, that was, I was depressed.

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When I think back on that time.

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So that to me is something

I look back on as.

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Okay, I don't ever want

to end up there again.

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And I

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Try and break my cycle if I can,

when I'm stuck in a spiral or I'm

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stuck in overthinking and remember

where I'm at, not time travel

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to the future, to the past, to

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Alexandra: That's a good

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Christine: all of that stuff.

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And my next step then is to call

somebody I trust and be like,

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okay, do you have time to, To

talk some things through with me.

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If not, that's okay.

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But if you do, could you use some help?

310

: 00:18:13

And if I'm not able to talk to somebody,

that's when I get a pen and paper

311

: 00:18:16

out and I just try and start brain

dumping or I'll hit record on my phone

312

: 00:18:22

and do a voice note and just talk.

313

: 00:18:26

and that is a huge, that's

another great first step.

314

: 00:18:28

You just start unloading all of

that stuff that's weighing on you.

315

: 00:18:33

So that kind of,

316

: 00:18:34

Alexandra: So I have a two

part question for you here.

317

: 00:18:36

What are some of the first signs that you

notice to indicate that you're beginning

318

: 00:18:42

to start to overthink a situation?

319

: 00:18:44

And then the second part is, can you

share a time when overthinking led

320

: 00:18:49

to a negative outcome in your life?

321

: 00:18:51

Or a negative conclusion to a situation

322

: 00:18:53

Christine: So some signs.

323

: 00:18:55

That indicate I'm overthinking.

324

: 00:18:58

Alexandra: or like you can feel

yourself starting to go, but

325

: 00:19:01

you can't stop it that way.

326

: 00:19:02

Maybe some of our

327

: 00:19:03

listeners can start to identify

that in their thought processes.

328

: 00:19:07

Christine: Don't know if I've

become that self aware yet, that

329

: 00:19:09

I notice it before it's happening,

or as it's starting to happen.

330

: 00:19:15

But I definitely know when I'm in it.

331

: 00:19:19

The people around me know when I'm in it.

332

: 00:19:21

I mean, it goes back to a

point I brought up earlier.

333

: 00:19:24

It's like when I get paralyzed and stuck

where I'm at, and I'm just constantly

334

: 00:19:28

your alliteration is great, just

chewing on whatever I'm overthinking

335

: 00:19:33

about, and I'm just stuck there not

moving, and unfortunately I haven't

336

: 00:19:39

been able to, as of yet, catch those

warning signs before it's happened.

337

: 00:19:46

I feel like for me, it's a

very instantaneous thing.

338

: 00:19:49

There's a switch in my brain.

339

: 00:19:50

There's no sort of gradual

ease into overthinking.

340

: 00:19:53

It's pretty like you're just

hit with a wave of everything.

341

: 00:19:58

Yeah.

342

: 00:19:58

I will say I've gotten better at

managing it when it does happen.

343

: 00:20:03

I don't necessarily, there's some

decisions I can handle more easily.

344

: 00:20:09

There's, you know, some things that I

can't, it also depends on mentally, if

345

: 00:20:14

I'm up for the fight, like with myself,

because I do find it's like a battle

346

: 00:20:19

within myself that I'm losing always.

347

: 00:20:24

Because I'm like, no one

else is overthinking this.

348

: 00:20:27

It's just me.

349

: 00:20:28

It's just, I'm just the,

350

: 00:20:30

Alexandra: can I pose a question

to you that a mentor of mine whom I

351

: 00:20:34

absolutely adore will often say to

me, um, what makes you so special that

352

: 00:20:39

you're the only one who experiences it.

353

: 00:20:41

Christine: I don't think I, that's

another thing I spiral about.

354

: 00:20:44

Alexandra: But didn't you just

say no one else overthinks this?

355

: 00:20:47

Christine: No one's

overthinking this situation.

356

: 00:20:48

I'm in it's I'm the one

357

: 00:20:50

Alexandra: Oh, oh, no.

358

: 00:20:53

What

359

: 00:20:53

Christine: everybody's overthinking girl.

360

: 00:20:54

Everybody is.

361

: 00:20:55

Alexandra: Okay.

362

: 00:20:56

Cause I was

363

: 00:20:56

Christine: when I'm in it,

it's the only thing I'm doing.

364

: 00:20:59

there's no one

365

: 00:21:00

else.

366

: 00:21:00

I don't have my mom and it

367

: 00:21:02

was,

368

: 00:21:02

Alexandra: a, what if somebody

was in a parallel situation?

369

: 00:21:04

Do you think, and if they had a

similar personality overthink,

370

: 00:21:11

what would that person do?

371

: 00:21:12

Have you ever tried thinking,

372

: 00:21:14

Christine: Oh,

373

: 00:21:14

Alexandra: would it be helpful?

374

: 00:21:16

Yeah.

375

: 00:21:16

Yeah.

376

: 00:21:17

To take yourself out of it and be

377

: 00:21:18

Okay, if somebody else was here.

378

: 00:21:21

Christine: Oh yeah.

379

: 00:21:21

Taking, yeah.

380

: 00:21:23

Taking the myself out of this

situation, putting somebody else

381

: 00:21:26

that definitely does help in terms of

382

: 00:21:28

taking.

383

: 00:21:29

Taking myself out of the

situation definitely does help

384

: 00:21:33

sometimes though, depending on the

spiral, like how far gone I am.

385

: 00:21:39

Alexandra: is true.

386

: 00:21:40

But yeah, I don't want you to

have to lose a war with yourself.

387

: 00:21:44

On either side.

388

: 00:21:45

Christine: Yeah, it, I don't either.

389

: 00:21:47

I don't want anybody to experience

that, but I felt like that was the

390

: 00:21:49

best way I could sort of describe

the situation and how I can sometimes

391

: 00:21:54

feel when I'm stuck in bouts of that.

392

: 00:21:59

But what about you?

393

: 00:22:00

What do you think are

some signs for yourself

394

: 00:22:03

That indicate you're

overthinking a situation?

395

: 00:22:06

Alexandra: signs That I'm starting to

overthink if I'm happened to be taking

396

: 00:22:09

like a walk or catching up with my mentor

and she, if I'm doing something, she

397

: 00:22:12

goes, what makes you so special that

you're the only one to experience this

398

: 00:22:16

or the only one to hold to the standard

or whatever I'm mentally overthinking.

399

: 00:22:21

Which is kind of helpful.

400

: 00:22:22

It, moments like goes ouch, but

it's okay, no, you're right.

401

: 00:22:27

What makes me so special that I'm

the only person to experience it?

402

: 00:22:31

And that kind of helps provide some

space between me and the situation

403

: 00:22:35

that I can then kind of think about

something a different way, or let go

404

: 00:22:40

some of the attachment to getting caught

up in that spiral, if that makes sense.

405

: 00:22:46

Recently I feel like there was a

situation because I tend to absorb

406

: 00:22:51

people's emotions, that I was feeling.

407

: 00:22:54

Anxiety and stress roll off and

come from other people that it

408

: 00:22:57

was causing anxiety and stress

a decision I was trying to make.

409

: 00:23:00

And I'm, and I was going,

how much of this is mine?

410

: 00:23:04

How much of this is other people and

going, this is not a space right now

411

: 00:23:09

to be making this kind of decision.

412

: 00:23:11

And then Christine, you mentioned, I

put something away for a little bit

413

: 00:23:14

and I came back to it the next day.

414

: 00:23:16

And I was like, ah, okay, this was mine.

415

: 00:23:21

This was my coworkers or my

friends, or this was something else.

416

: 00:23:24

And I'm like, now I can

go, what do I really want?

417

: 00:23:27

What's mine?

418

: 00:23:28

What do I want my next step to be?

419

: 00:23:30

And it was a little bit easier.

420

: 00:23:31

so I feel like The first trigger is

kind of feeling my heart start to race

421

: 00:23:37

Kind of feeling my body start to tense

and when that starts to happen When

422

: 00:23:41

it comes to and my thoughts race if I

feel all three of those things I go.

423

: 00:23:46

Oh, this is my These are my

triggers, and that's what I try to

424

: 00:23:51

work with, and directly on that.

425

: 00:23:52

Sometimes, not even the situation, I'm

like, address these triggers first.

426

: 00:23:58

Christine: Yeah.

427

: 00:23:59

as I've been listening to you share your

signs trying to think of a time where

428

: 00:24:04

overthinking led to a negative outcome.

429

: 00:24:07

I've definitely experienced like missing

out on something because I've been,

430

: 00:24:12

I took so long to come to a decision.

431

: 00:24:15

I think that's the most.

432

: 00:24:16

most tangible way I can

answer this right now.

433

: 00:24:19

Cause I don't, I can't necessarily

pinpoint like a specific time, but just

434

: 00:24:24

to say there has been situations where,

yeah, I got so caught up in the what ifs

435

: 00:24:29

and the overthinking and the spiral that.

436

: 00:24:33

I missed out on an opportunity.

437

: 00:24:36

whether it was an interview for a job or

438

: 00:24:39

not reaching out to somebody for

a reference, because I was like

439

: 00:24:47

overthinking my significance and my

contributions to working with that person.

440

: 00:24:51

Those are not very big things.

441

: 00:24:53

Alexandra: like, or undervaluing your

significance and your contribution,

442

: 00:24:56

not under thinking, undervaluing.

443

: 00:24:59

Christine: Yeah.

444

: 00:24:59

Yeah.

445

: 00:25:00

I think I got caught up in trying to think

of something major that ended up bad,

446

: 00:25:04

that turned out badly, but I think just

a result of me overthinking in the past

447

: 00:25:09

has, I've missed out on opportunities,

I've undervalued myself, And as a

448

: 00:25:14

result, don't go after something I want.

449

: 00:25:17

Those are like, I think the biggest

negative outcomes that have come

450

: 00:25:21

out of my bouts of overthinking.

451

: 00:25:23

And a big shift came last year.

452

: 00:25:28

Gosh, I can't even say last

year anymore because it's been

453

: 00:25:30

over a year since I left my job.

454

: 00:25:34

But when I was coming to the decision to

leave my previous job that was the first.

455

: 00:25:41

Time that in my like professional

career, adult life, let's say that I

456

: 00:25:47

finally was like, stop overthinking

this Christine and just do something

457

: 00:25:50

for yourself because I was so miserable

and it didn't have to be that way.

458

: 00:25:55

A job doesn't have to be like,

459

: 00:25:57

that just doesn't, it

460

: 00:26:02

Alexandra: No, but

461

: 00:26:03

it took you a while to get to

that point where you're like I'm

462

: 00:26:06

done overthinking this

463

: 00:26:08

Christine: I was really

464

: 00:26:08

dealing with the decision.

465

: 00:26:10

Alexandra: I want to say like off

and on for six to eight months prior

466

: 00:26:13

to you leaving, you had mentioned

something and then it would.

467

: 00:26:18

Then you wouldn't deal with it.

468

: 00:26:19

And then you would come

back and be like, okay.

469

: 00:26:20

And then it was starting to get really

470

: 00:26:22

Christine: I, yeah, there were moments.

471

: 00:26:25

Yeah, there were moments of me, you

know, I would talk to you and I talked

472

: 00:26:32

to my parents and other friends and

I definitely was in a little bit of

473

: 00:26:37

denial because I was stuck on thinking,

About what I thought this could be,

474

: 00:26:44

and it wasn't meeting that expectation.

475

: 00:26:46

And I thought, let me just hang in

there and maybe it will become what I

476

: 00:26:49

want it to be or what I hope it to be.

477

: 00:26:52

And then I did try to make some moves

to try and improve the situation, have

478

: 00:26:56

conversations, try and change my outlook.

479

: 00:27:00

And then after a while I was

like, okay, wait, it's not me.

480

: 00:27:03

It's not, I'm not the reason

it's this environment.

481

: 00:27:06

It's these people.

482

: 00:27:07

It's this.

483

: 00:27:08

The situation and I don't

have to be here anymore.

484

: 00:27:11

There's plenty of other

opportunities out there.

485

: 00:27:14

This has been a very valuable experience.

486

: 00:27:16

It's taught me a lot about

resilience and what I'm capable of.

487

: 00:27:22

I'm grateful for that, but that's

about all I'm grateful for.

488

: 00:27:25

And thank you.

489

: 00:27:26

Goodbye.

490

: 00:27:29

Alexandra: What you said

makes a lot of sense.

491

: 00:27:31

And I would have to say very similarly.

492

: 00:27:34

I think one of the few negative

consequences of overthinking would be

493

: 00:27:38

missing opportunities because of taking

too long to overthink, but then also

494

: 00:27:44

not being the version of myself

that I want to be or live the life

495

: 00:27:49

and the experiences I want to be.

496

: 00:27:50

So I would say those are

negative consequences that

497

: 00:27:53

don't have to be catastrophic.

498

: 00:27:55

But can really impact our daily

lives and then the decisions we

499

: 00:27:59

make because potentially we can

over identify as an overthinker and

500

: 00:28:04

then get stuck there or being go.

501

: 00:28:07

That's not me.

502

: 00:28:08

I can't push myself that way.

503

: 00:28:10

Or what if it all goes wrong?

504

: 00:28:13

So again, you kind of

miss the timing on things.

505

: 00:28:16

I think this beautifully fits in with why

we named our podcast The Mirror Project.

506

: 00:28:21

We are taking this opportunity

to look at ourselves in the

507

: 00:28:25

mirror and really identify.

508

: 00:28:28

Something that could be long term, you

know, issue throughout our lives that we

509

: 00:28:35

need to address or, you know, a recurring

habit and pattern that we want to go.

510

: 00:28:40

Oh, hey, we don't always want to do this.

511

: 00:28:43

We want to make different choices.

512

: 00:28:45

But yeah, so I hope other people

are able to kindly and gently

513

: 00:28:50

raise the mirror for themselves.

514

: 00:28:52

And see and reflect on, you know,

if they want to change or the traps

515

: 00:28:56

of overthinking that they fall into.

516

: 00:28:58

And I think, Christine, you mentioned

that a very interesting trap

517

: 00:29:02

that I find often associated with

overthinking is the trap that if I

518

: 00:29:07

just stick it out, it will get better.

519

: 00:29:09

This group, this thing is different

than I thought it would be.

520

: 00:29:13

And if I just stick it out,

if I just Put in more effort.

521

: 00:29:16

If I just something, it'll become that.

522

: 00:29:19

Christine: Yeah, definitely.

523

: 00:29:20

I think that's a great segue.

524

: 00:29:22

Let's now talk about strategies

to overcome overthinking.

525

: 00:29:26

Alexandra, can you sort of talk

about how mindfulness can help ground

526

: 00:29:31

you in being in the present moment?

527

: 00:29:33

Alexandra: So I think mindfulness,

I think we've mentioned this

528

: 00:29:36

on and throughout the podcast.

529

: 00:29:38

It's different episodes.

530

: 00:29:39

Mindfulness isn't necessarily easy,

but I think it is a practice worth

531

: 00:29:44

developing because I mentioned in the

previous section that kind of taking

532

: 00:29:50

those pauses or space between thoughts

in order to kind of Be a third party

533

: 00:29:56

observer to say, Hey, I'm doing this.

534

: 00:29:59

I'm experiencing this versus being.

535

: 00:30:01

I am this I'm experiencing.

536

: 00:30:03

I'm feeling this can be really

helpful in moments that you start to

537

: 00:30:07

overthink or you feel those triggers,

but that takes time and practice.

538

: 00:30:12

So if anyone's I want to start

mindfulness around something.

539

: 00:30:15

Please don't feel discouraged if

you go come up to a situation.

540

: 00:30:19

You're like I didn't

mindfully approach that.

541

: 00:30:21

Again, guys, months in therapy

and working with my therapist.

542

: 00:30:25

and she really pushes me to be

mindful and identify things and

543

: 00:30:29

think about it and even say,

what's the worst that could happen.

544

: 00:30:32

You know, if you make a decision

without overthinking, what's

545

: 00:30:35

the worst that can happen?

546

: 00:30:36

And part of mindfulness is sitting.

547

: 00:30:39

Sometimes I think for me and maybe

for other people overthinking comes

548

: 00:30:44

because you're overthinking a surface

part of it and not wanting to deal

549

: 00:30:47

with an underlying emotion or a

thought you don't want to voice.

550

: 00:30:52

So you try to think around it.

551

: 00:30:54

And sometimes mindfulness for me

comes with sitting down with that

552

: 00:30:58

thing I don't want to address.

553

: 00:30:59

As it comes to different situations where

I mentally masticate, um, so sitting in

554

: 00:31:05

that very uncomfortable space and dealing

with a root problem really helps me

555

: 00:31:09

identify things moving forward in life

and address them a little bit more quickly

556

: 00:31:14

to bounce back or bounce through things.

557

: 00:31:17

what's your experience with

mindfulness to help ground you?

558

: 00:31:21

Christine: I think I talked about

this first when we were talking

559

: 00:31:25

about the sayings and mantras.

560

: 00:31:27

I go back to that time when I

was trying to figure out what my

561

: 00:31:32

next step was going to be with.

562

: 00:31:34

My last job and my mom gave

me a great piece of advice

563

: 00:31:37

of voicing to the universe.

564

: 00:31:41

What you hope, what your

hopes are for the day.

565

: 00:31:44

And not just thinking it,

but actually speaking it.

566

: 00:31:46

Because the act of doing that really just

helps put me in a positive mindset going

567

: 00:31:53

into the day and helped ground me and not

568

: 00:31:58

allow other people's Attitudes or

569

: 00:32:03

behavior influence how I was feeling.

570

: 00:32:07

that's like my big, my biggest thing.

571

: 00:32:09

And it was so helpful.

572

: 00:32:10

It was a great piece of advice.

573

: 00:32:11

At the time, I'd be in my car driving

to work and I'd just be like, all right,

574

: 00:32:14

universe, this is what I want for the day.

575

: 00:32:18

Send me any signs that you think I

need little messages and ever since

576

: 00:32:23

then I started seeing 11 11 and since

then I've, I could constantly and I

577

: 00:32:28

consistently still see that and that's

like for me like a little sign from

578

: 00:32:33

the universe when I am trying to make a

decision or if I'm looking for positive

579

: 00:32:39

reinforcement on something I've decided

on it's always like a little, a nice

580

: 00:32:44

little sign that helps remind me that

I'm moving forward on, on the right path.

581

: 00:32:52

Alexandra: Think tying into our music

episode that was in July, listening

582

: 00:32:59

to a song or songs that have speak

the words and things you want to bring

583

: 00:33:04

into your life could also be a very

interesting way to add on to that.

584

: 00:33:08

Speaking what you want into

the universe grounding moment,

585

: 00:33:11

Christine: absolutely.

586

: 00:33:13

shall we talk about how to

cultivate a positive mindset

587

: 00:33:17

to counteract overthinking?

588

: 00:33:19

I think what I brought up is something

that really helps me, but Alexander,

589

: 00:33:23

do you have any other suggestions?

590

: 00:33:27

Alexandra: I will always promote therapy.

591

: 00:33:29

I think that's a great tool for people

592

: 00:33:31

when you find the right

therapist to work with.

593

: 00:33:35

For me, sometimes, because I don't

always value my own opinion, and I tend

594

: 00:33:39

to value other people's opinions, not

seeking advice from so many people.

595

: 00:33:46

and limit it to just my therapist or

one friend so I'm not trying to get

596

: 00:33:50

consensus and I can put more value

on my own thoughts is super helpful

597

: 00:33:55

and in positive and in cultivating a

positive mindset that I'm capable To

598

: 00:34:06

To make decisions that I'm comfortable

with and then that enough that my opinion,

599

: 00:34:11

what I think is valuable to stand on

its own without the consensus of others.

600

: 00:34:15

But I think that also comes into

something that the quote mentioned,

601

: 00:34:18

which is just taking the next step.

602

: 00:34:22

so in cultivating a positive mindset to

counteract, Overthinking is if you know

603

: 00:34:29

the next step and if you can identify

Just the next step and it doesn't

604

: 00:34:34

have to be a major step It could be

literally a baby step in whatever you're

605

: 00:34:39

currently overthinking taking that step

and Examining how you feel once you've

606

: 00:34:45

taken that step and kind of seeing what

options and opportunities come out of

607

: 00:34:50

that one step and kind of measuring it

to the overthinking spiral, the what ifs

608

: 00:34:56

that you mentioned, Christine, before you

took that step is also kind of helpful.

609

: 00:35:00

So that's what.

610

: 00:35:03

I would suggest to cultivate a

positive mindset and also being kind

611

: 00:35:08

with yourself, because if you want

to change how you currently overthink

612

: 00:35:12

or maybe make steps to overcome

overthinking, just be kind to yourself,

613

: 00:35:17

because it won't always be right.

614

: 00:35:19

Perfect.

615

: 00:35:20

You may backslide.

616

: 00:35:22

As we've talked a lot in this

podcast, progress is not linear

617

: 00:35:27

or very rarely is it linear.

618

: 00:35:28

Sometimes we go backwards for a

little bit before we can come forward.

619

: 00:35:32

So that's what I

620

: 00:35:33

Christine: you go off to the left,

621

: 00:35:36

Alexandra: We take attention.

622

: 00:35:38

Christine: definitely

623

: 00:35:39

Alexandra: As we wrap up today's meeting

of Overthinkers Anonymous, we want

624

: 00:35:41

to thank you for joining us on this

exploratory conversation on overthinking

625

: 00:35:45

and finding ways to navigate it.

626

: 00:35:47

Remember it is okay not to

have all the answers at once.

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: 00:35:50

Sometimes all we need is to

take the next small step.

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: 00:35:53

We hope our conversation has offered

some support and practical tips to

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: 00:35:56

help you embrace the present moment

and ease the burden of overthinking.

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: 00:36:00

We are so grateful for your support

and for being a part of our community.

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: 00:36:03

If today's discussion resonated with

you, we would absolutely love to

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: 00:36:07

hear your thoughts and experiences.

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: 00:36:08

Don't hesitate to reach

out to us on our socials.

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: 00:36:11

Next week, we're excited to welcome back

a returning guest and my friend Traveris

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: 00:36:15

for an episode on breaking the ice.

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: 00:36:18

We'll dive into how to get to

know people quickly through

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: 00:36:20

deep and meaningful questions.

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: 00:36:22

Perfect for sparking genuine connections.

639

: 00:36:24

It's an episode you won't want to miss

until then be gentle with yourselves.

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: 00:36:28

Keep putting one foot in front of

the other and remember that you

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: 00:36:31

are never alone on this journey.

642

: 00:36:34

Christine: Are you enjoying the

banter and insights we're serving up?

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: 00:36:36

If so, consider tossing some support our

way through our buy us a coffee page.

644

: 00:36:41

Every bit helps in fueling

this passion project of ours.

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: 00:36:44

Find the link in our show

notes or visit our link tree.

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: 00:36:47

We're immensely grateful

for your generosity.

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: 00:36:50

we wrap up, remember to hit that

like subscribe or follow button

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: 00:36:53

on your preferred platform.

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: 00:36:54

Until next time, let's keep

the conversation going.

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: 00:36:57

We'll catch on the next episode