Our Mums Pt. 1, ft. Rose & Candace

Christine: 00:00:11

Hello and welcome to The Mirror Project.

2

: 00:00:13

We are your hosts, Christine,

3

: 00:00:15

Alexandra: And Alexandra.

4

: 00:00:16

Christine: and we're thrilled to

have you joining us for a special

5

: 00:00:19

two part Mother's Day episode.

6

: 00:00:21

Featuring our amazing

moms, Rose and Candice.

7

: 00:00:25

As Mother's Day approaches, we're

diving into the intricacies of parenting

8

: 00:00:29

styles, reflecting on how our moms

approaches have shaped us and what

9

: 00:00:33

they might have done differently.

10

: 00:00:35

From sharing fond memories to

a bit of good natured teasing.

11

: 00:00:38

This episode is a heartfelt tribute

to the women who have shaped us.

12

: 00:00:42

Welcome to you both and thank

you so much for joining us.

13

: 00:00:47

why don't you kick us off

and introduce us to your mom?

14

: 00:00:50

Alexandra: All right.

15

: 00:00:51

So hi everyone.

16

: 00:00:52

I'm introducing one of our two

fabulous guests today, Candice.

17

: 00:00:55

As the proud mom of our very own

Alexandra, that's me, Candice

18

: 00:00:58

brings a vibrant blend of intellect,

creativity, and curiosity to the table.

19

: 00:01:02

When she's not busy being an amazing

mom, you can find her lost in the

20

: 00:01:05

pages of a book, exploring arts and

gardening, or engaging in lively

21

: 00:01:09

philosophical debates that span from

the mundane to the mind bending.

22

: 00:01:13

Armed with her favorite question, why,

Candice fearlessly explores the depths

23

: 00:01:17

of all things that make us human.

24

: 00:01:19

unraveling mysteries, and challenging

conventions along the way.

25

: 00:01:22

With a background in advertising and

a stint in web design and development,

26

: 00:01:25

she's no stranger to navigating new paths.

27

: 00:01:27

Currently embarking on a quest to

discover her next passion, Candace

28

: 00:01:30

is a true inspiration to us all.

29

: 00:01:32

Welcome to the show, mom.

30

: 00:01:33

Candace: Thank you for inviting myself and

Rose today for your Mother's Day podcast.

31

: 00:01:41

I'm glad to be here.

32

: 00:01:42

Christine: Well, We're so glad

to have you joining us today.

33

: 00:01:45

And I have the privilege of

welcoming a woman whose love and

34

: 00:01:47

laughter light up many lives, none

other than the incredible Rose.

35

: 00:01:52

As the nurturing mother of three

remarkable daughters, yours truly,

36

: 00:01:56

Nicole and Victoria, and the devoted

caretaker of her beloved pup, Beau, Rose

37

: 00:02:01

brings nearly three decades of motherly

wisdom and warmth to every moment.

38

: 00:02:06

With a passion for the beach,

gardening, and creating laughter

39

: 00:02:09

filled moments with loved ones,

she infuses joy into every moment.

40

: 00:02:14

Her infectious smile has the

power to brighten even the

41

: 00:02:17

gloomiest of days, and her hugs?

42

: 00:02:19

Well, they're nothing short of magic.

43

: 00:02:21

With a newfound passion for furniture

restoration and a career spanning over

44

: 00:02:25

15 years in school administration,

Rose's journey is one of boundless

45

: 00:02:29

curiosity and endless possibility.

46

: 00:02:32

Thank you so much for

joining us today, Mama.

47

: 00:02:34

Welcome.

48

: 00:02:35

Rose: Thank you, Christine and Alexandra.

49

: 00:02:37

Candice, it's great to see you again.

50

: 00:02:39

And it's , thrilling to be

here this morning as we discuss

51

: 00:02:44

mother daughter relationships.

52

: 00:02:46

Thank you.

53

: 00:02:47

Christine: So let's dive in, shall we?

54

: 00:02:49

Alexandra: Before we dive in today's

topic, like, subscribe, or follow us

55

: 00:02:52

on your preferred listening platform.

56

: 00:02:54

Go ahead, pause, and do

it now before you forget.

57

: 00:02:57

Don't worry, we won't

get started without you.

58

: 00:03:00

Christine: First segment is

all about parenting styles.

59

: 00:03:03

Can you describe to us?

60

: 00:03:05

Your parenting styles?

61

: 00:03:07

Why don't we start with my mama?

62

: 00:03:10

Rose: Okay.

63

: 00:03:11

Survival is first thing

that comes to mind.

64

: 00:03:15

Christine: Yeah, with three girls.

65

: 00:03:16

That makes

66

: 00:03:18

Rose: yes, absolutely survival

staying consistent with the three of

67

: 00:03:24

you and teaching right from wrong,

accountability, and most importantly

68

: 00:03:31

non comparing the girls and lastly a

whole lot of love and understanding and

69

: 00:03:40

acceptance of who each individual is.

70

: 00:03:45

This was my take on how to survive raising

three daughters, which was a true joy.

71

: 00:03:53

I loved every minute of it and still am.

72

: 00:03:55

Christine: Yeah.

73

: 00:03:56

Mama, you always did it

with such style and grace.

74

: 00:03:58

I never.

75

: 00:03:59

For a moment thought that you were,

I can imagine how overwhelming

76

: 00:04:04

and we're still very overwhelming.

77

: 00:04:06

So God bless ya, but when we were like

less than five years old having three ones

78

: 00:04:11

running around I can only imagine but I

always remembered just how graceful and

79

: 00:04:17

Understanding you were so I have a lot of

80

: 00:04:21

Rose: Well, thank

81

: 00:04:21

you.

82

: 00:04:22

Christine: it

83

: 00:04:22

Alexandra: I'm just

thinking of three teenage

84

: 00:04:24

girls at one time.

85

: 00:04:25

That was probably a lot

of, a lot of hormones.

86

: 00:04:29

Rose: They,

87

: 00:04:29

they actually, the elementary school were.

88

: 00:04:33

Yeah, the high school years were

interesting, but the elementary school

89

: 00:04:37

years, I think, were more interesting just

given the the dynamic of girls in general.

90

: 00:04:44

Not so much it's the external.

91

: 00:04:46

women in their lives that were playing

a role in how they would navigate

92

: 00:04:53

waters at school and friendships.

93

: 00:04:55

So that was I think the

most challenging part.

94

: 00:04:58

Once we got to high school, it went

really quickly and they developed

95

: 00:05:02

some really lifelong friends,

which I'm very grateful for.

96

: 00:05:06

And then before I knew it, they were off

to college and had to start all over.

97

: 00:05:12

Alexandra: Yeah.

98

: 00:05:13

On that lovely note mom, what about you?

99

: 00:05:16

What would you describe your

parenting style as with me?

100

: 00:05:20

Candace: I would this was hard because

I looked at what your question about

101

: 00:05:25

where to start was unsure of where to

start other than I had, some pretty

102

: 00:05:30

good examples and all I could say was

old fashioned, the same characteristics

103

: 00:05:35

that that Rose had mentioned, respect

love, acceptance, meaning acceptance.

104

: 00:05:41

How to treat other people?

105

: 00:05:42

Why that was important and the

expectation and then just the somehow

106

: 00:05:49

imparting the desire to be and use

everything that you've been given.

107

: 00:05:56

All your gifts and your abilities to.

108

: 00:05:58

to their best purpose to be

your best version of yourself.

109

: 00:06:03

And that is a journey.

110

: 00:06:07

That is a journey for

both parents and children,

111

: 00:06:11

navigating those waters and

teaching your children that.

112

: 00:06:15

Alexandra: and I was no easy child.

113

: 00:06:16

I

114

: 00:06:16

think I

115

: 00:06:16

had too much of my own mind.

116

: 00:06:20

Candace: think listening to Rose,

I realized that each having one

117

: 00:06:24

and having multiple, certainly

multiple daughters are different

118

: 00:06:29

challenges, very different challenges.

119

: 00:06:31

And frequently I've thought with

women with multiple children, let

120

: 00:06:37

alone multiple daughters, that would

be maybe more than I was capable.

121

: 00:06:44

I could see that survival

is definitely part of that.

122

: 00:06:49

Christine: Yes, I think also, I don't have

kids yet, but seeing my mom be the mother

123

: 00:06:55

to more than one kid, I think she just

really, that, that was her situation and

124

: 00:07:03

she found a way to, to navigate it all.

125

: 00:07:05

I think it really speaks to the what's

the word, the adaptability and You

126

: 00:07:11

may think you can't, but it's amazing

what you actually can do, so I think

127

: 00:07:15

that's a really beautiful and remarkable

thing that I've taken away from

128

: 00:07:20

watching my mom be who she is yeah.

129

: 00:07:24

Candace: It absolutely is a challenge

to, to discover things in yourself

130

: 00:07:30

and to and surprise yourself at

what you're absolutely capable

131

: 00:07:34

of, what you can do, when you need

132

: 00:07:37

Christine: Mm.

133

: 00:07:38

Rose: Absolutely.

134

: 00:07:39

I think too for me I chose to

have three, three children.

135

: 00:07:45

Didn't know exactly what I was

going to get and then God blessed

136

: 00:07:48

me with three beautiful girls.

137

: 00:07:50

And I just embraced that.

138

: 00:07:53

And really enjoyed the process

watching them grow and become

139

: 00:07:57

the people who they are.

140

: 00:07:59

It was just very exciting

for me to be a witness.

141

: 00:08:02

To the beautiful people they became.

142

: 00:08:05

Alexandra: think there's going

to be some tears in this episode.

143

: 00:08:08

Christine: Yeah,

144

: 00:08:09

Rose: Oh!

145

: 00:08:10

Christine: I might.

146

: 00:08:11

I fall to pieces at the drop of a hat.

147

: 00:08:14

So, Why don't we shift, shift, focus

a little bit and maybe Talk about

148

: 00:08:21

how your style, like when you, your

approach to parenting, how your styles

149

: 00:08:26

were similar to that of your parents,

or if not what did you do to change

150

: 00:08:30

and what constituted that change?

151

: 00:08:33

And why don't we start with Candace.

152

: 00:08:36

Candace: I think I had a really fantastic

motherly example in my grandmother.

153

: 00:08:42

She gave unconditional love.

154

: 00:08:45

And I say that, and people sometimes

think that means that there were no,

155

: 00:08:50

There was no discipline or expectation

and that absolutely was not the truth.

156

: 00:08:56

I think unconditional love also

includes respect and if you respect

157

: 00:09:02

someone, you're going to live

up to their expectations, right?

158

: 00:09:08

And then I how it would be different.

159

: 00:09:13

I think that It's a generational

thing a little bit too.

160

: 00:09:19

I don't think, I think parents had

different expectations for their

161

: 00:09:25

children when I was growing up.

162

: 00:09:27

And then my expectation was to be

more participatory, more present.

163

: 00:09:33

More, I didn't know what I was doing.

164

: 00:09:37

I didn't know what I was

doing when I had Alexandra.

165

: 00:09:40

And I just had to, I was

also an older parent.

166

: 00:09:45

I'd had a, I'd had a career.

167

: 00:09:46

I'd had a job and I looked like it

this is something I'm going to have to

168

: 00:09:50

work at and I'm going to make mistakes

along the way, but we're both going

169

: 00:09:55

to do some learning along the way.

170

: 00:09:57

And I think that's how it was

different than my parents.

171

: 00:10:01

I expected to be constantly challenged

and I was, and she provided that.

172

: 00:10:08

She provided that.

173

: 00:10:10

Christine: I think she

174

: 00:10:10

might still

175

: 00:10:11

Alexandra: point out,

176

: 00:10:12

Candace: Joyfully.

177

: 00:10:13

Yes, that is true.

178

: 00:10:15

Alexandra: I'd also like to point

out that I think you asked for that

179

: 00:10:17

in a child, let's not you wanted a

challenging and intelligent child

180

: 00:10:22

And sometimes you have to be careful

what you ask for, because you got it.

181

: 00:10:27

Candace: Yes, I distinctly, yes,

I distinctly recall asking her to,

182

: 00:10:34

for all those things and to be all

those things, and to, be a person who

183

: 00:10:39

knew their mind, and to follow their

mind, and it's precisely what I got.

184

: 00:10:43

Alexandra: And I like how when she tries

to throw out, like, Why are you like this?

185

: 00:10:47

And I'm like, hey, you know what?

186

: 00:10:49

You have only yourself to account

to because I just came this way.

187

: 00:10:55

Candace: I certainly cannot

imagine this times three for Rose.

188

: 00:10:58

I really cannot imagine.

189

: 00:10:59

And then keeping them separate.

190

: 00:11:01

Oh, I need to go this way for this one and

this way for that one and whoop, down that

191

: 00:11:05

Christine: Mm-Hmm.

192

: 00:11:06

.And then, you know, like also, so you

have individual relationships with each

193

: 00:11:09

of your kids and then your kids all

have relationships with themselves.

194

: 00:11:13

And then so looking the web just.

195

: 00:11:17

Because then you can look at,

okay, Christine's relationship with

196

: 00:11:19

Nicole, and my relationship in that,

and my part in that relationship.

197

: 00:11:23

Because, oh gosh, Mama, sometimes I

look back on when we were kids, and

198

: 00:11:28

God bless, Nicole and I would go at it.

199

: 00:11:33

We really, we, I love her to death.

200

: 00:11:36

She's one of my best friends.

201

: 00:11:37

But, boy oh boy, I think back when

we were kids, It was very high

202

: 00:11:43

tension at times between her and

I and then when Tori came along,

203

: 00:11:47

she was like, I look back fondly on

when because I was six years older.

204

: 00:11:55

I'm six years older than Tori.

205

: 00:11:57

At a certain point when I started

watching, sorry, going off, I'll let

206

: 00:12:02

my mom share her points here in a

moment, but I just wanted to share

207

: 00:12:07

when I got to be, I think 12 is when

I maybe even younger started helping

208

: 00:12:13

mom out babysitting and being like

mom's mini me and helping out Tori it's

209

: 00:12:19

just, Interesting how she navigated

not only our relationships one on one

210

: 00:12:25

with her, but also the relationships we

had as siblings and how she helped the

211

: 00:12:31

mediator and the friend and all of that.

212

: 00:12:34

Anyway, Mama, why don't you share with

us your approach to parenting styles?

213

: 00:12:40

What did you take from your

parents and what did you change?

214

: 00:12:44

Rose: Agree with a lot of what

Candice has shared already.

215

: 00:12:47

I think the first thing is most

important is to remember different

216

: 00:12:51

times when my parents were raising us.

217

: 00:12:53

So it's vastly different than when

I was raising you and your sisters.

218

: 00:12:58

And that's a whole nother

different dynamic that you

219

: 00:13:00

have to take into account.

220

: 00:13:02

We're dealing with for the first

time, cell phones and social media.

221

: 00:13:07

And when I was growing up,

that was not even a thing.

222

: 00:13:11

That there was no experience for

us to draw from to navigate those

223

: 00:13:16

waters other than to ask you to

have face to face conversations and

224

: 00:13:23

not do your talking through some

sort of device with each other.

225

: 00:13:27

So parenting style was just to

help encourage you to be your

226

: 00:13:32

authentic self in a world where

a lot of people don't like that.

227

: 00:13:37

They like to hide behind a different face.

228

: 00:13:39

And it's very challenging.

229

: 00:13:40

It's very lonely.

230

: 00:13:42

But through a lot of love and

support and knowing you're accepted

231

: 00:13:46

for who you are, helped you grow

as an, a beautiful individual.

232

: 00:13:50

Which was the ultimate goal, is

to have you have your own voice.

233

: 00:13:55

Especially with women today,

finding their voice sometimes can

234

: 00:13:57

be overshadowed by other things.

235

: 00:14:00

And helping you with that support,

knowing that what you have to say

236

: 00:14:05

and think and share is important.

237

: 00:14:08

Hopefully that

238

: 00:14:09

answered.

239

: 00:14:10

No question.

240

: 00:14:10

My parenting style.

241

: 00:14:13

Candace: Going to jump in here if I may,

and tag into what Rose said because at the

242

: 00:14:17

start of it, she reminded me that, and I

don't know if this was your experience,

243

: 00:14:22

rose, when we were growing up, you set

out on a Saturday morning on your bike

244

: 00:14:28

and you could be gone until dinner time.

245

: 00:14:31

And nobody worried about you, you have

landline phones, parents knew your

246

: 00:14:36

friends, they knew the neighborhood and

you were, you'd just be gone and you'd

247

: 00:14:40

show up when Alexandra, I remember not

even wanting her to be out in the front

248

: 00:14:46

yard alone because of the stories of

children being kidnapped and all of that.

249

: 00:14:52

And so yes, our ability to

communicate expanded, but it

250

: 00:14:56

also created a lot of more.

251

: 00:14:59

Potential for being alert and aware.

252

: 00:15:02

Had she been gone 12 hours, I

would have had called out the

253

: 00:15:06

Rose: absolutely.

254

: 00:15:07

I lost my mind.

255

: 00:15:09

There was just no way that you

were going to be out of sight

256

: 00:15:13

for an extended period of time.

257

: 00:15:15

We just, we could not do that.

258

: 00:15:16

But growing up for me, it was like, had

to come home when the streetlight came

259

: 00:15:20

on and we never got out of line because

the neighbors were watching and we knew

260

: 00:15:25

that we respected authority adults.

261

: 00:15:28

We knew that if we stepped out of line,

our parents were going to hear about it.

262

: 00:15:33

And those consequences

helped shaped us, who we are

263

: 00:15:37

today.

264

: 00:15:39

Christine: I think also I've had many

conversations with both my parents

265

: 00:15:42

about what they've changed when they

decided to have children of their own

266

: 00:15:48

from how they were raised and one of

the things that always struck me was,

267

: 00:15:54

I think, I can't remember if dad or if

you said it, mom, but your parents did

268

: 00:16:00

the best they could with what they had.

269

: 00:16:02

And.

270

: 00:16:05

I think that's such a

beautiful thing to think about.

271

: 00:16:08

It makes you stop for a second because

I think a lot of people sometimes

272

: 00:16:14

when it comes to their parents,

they just see them as their parents.

273

: 00:16:16

They don't necessarily see them beyond

the fact that they're also human.

274

: 00:16:21

And they're not, and

they're, they're not perfect.

275

: 00:16:24

But a lot of people hold

parents to that higher standard.

276

: 00:16:29

So I think that's such a beautiful

thing to stop and think about.

277

: 00:16:33

And I really appreciate that you and dad

have sat us all down and talked to us

278

: 00:16:39

about it because it really put a lot of

things into perspective because we've

279

: 00:16:42

talked about, It's not always sunshine

and rainbows with family, especially

280

: 00:16:46

with when it comes to extended family,

281

: 00:16:48

Candace: think sometimes

becoming a parent.

282

: 00:16:52

Becoming a parent also teaches you

to forgive or understand or explain

283

: 00:16:59

things that your own parents did.

284

: 00:17:01

I mean, On the funny side, I

remember calling my mother one

285

: 00:17:06

time and just apologizing, and she

said, what are you apologizing for?

286

: 00:17:10

I said, for being a child because

Alexandra had done Something

287

: 00:17:14

that really tapped me to the

288

: 00:17:16

limit.

289

: 00:17:17

And I'm like, just, Oh,

I remember doing that.

290

: 00:17:20

I need to apologize to my mother.

291

: 00:17:22

You, You, that is the,

one of the beauties.

292

: 00:17:28

And as you said, the kind of knowledge

that comes along with maturing and

293

: 00:17:33

definitely having a child that makes you

see your parents, that they're people.

294

: 00:17:39

And that they did the

best that they could do.

295

: 00:17:42

And that's.

296

: 00:17:43

Not the same for everyone.

297

: 00:17:44

That's why families don't look the

same and your family may look different

298

: 00:17:49

than your parents or your grandparents

or your grandchildren's families.

299

: 00:17:53

You just hope some of the core principles

that Rose was talking about, respect

300

: 00:18:00

and responsibility and acceptance and

character and, knowing right from wrong,

301

: 00:18:06

doing right from wrong, are the things

that get you passed from generation to

302

: 00:18:10

generation.

303

: 00:18:11

Rose: Absolutely.

304

: 00:18:12

I think unfortunately I, my lost

my mom when Christine was quite

305

: 00:18:16

young, so she didn't get an

opportunity to see my daughters

306

: 00:18:20

grow like my husband's mother did.

307

: 00:18:25

And she would be so proud of you.

308

: 00:18:28

Christine: aww.

309

: 00:18:28

She's with me always, Mama.

310

: 00:18:30

when I came down to visit Alexandra a

few years ago, we went, and I forget

311

: 00:18:34

what you had me do, Alex, with Brenda.

312

: 00:18:38

Alexandra: Oh, it was like an

energy healing energy work session.

313

: 00:18:41

Christine: Yeah, but she also

shared so much with me and I learned

314

: 00:18:46

that Grandma, she's my protector.

315

: 00:18:50

So she's with me always,

watching out for me,

316

: 00:18:52

Rose: I believe that.

317

: 00:18:54

Alexandra: and she's keeping all the

318

: 00:18:55

undeserving boys away.

319

: 00:18:57

Christine: Yes.

320

: 00:18:59

So she's definitely, I think,

has seen all of us grow.

321

: 00:19:04

And I wish that we could have had

the opportunity to talk with her.

322

: 00:19:12

still get emotional about it, even

though I was like seven when she passed.

323

: 00:19:17

Rose: Yeah.

324

: 00:19:18

Christine: Still right at the surface.

325

: 00:19:21

Candace: Seven year old.

326

: 00:19:22

Rose: Very much so.

327

: 00:19:23

Yeah.

328

: 00:19:25

She was because she was such

an important person in my life.

329

: 00:19:29

She supported me as I was growing up to

the best of her ability and I learned

330

: 00:19:35

after having my own children to as

Candace has said cuz I think that's

331

: 00:19:42

a She didn't know what she was doing.

332

: 00:19:45

She didn't have a playbook.

333

: 00:19:47

She was figuring it all out and she

had four children, three years apart.

334

: 00:19:52

So that was a long span of

time to raising children.

335

: 00:19:56

And so I think offering graces to

our parents, knowing they're there,

336

: 00:20:03

they're doing their best out of love.

337

: 00:20:05

Candace: My mother was 19

when her mother passed away.

338

: 00:20:09

So she passed away while

my mother was in college.

339

: 00:20:12

And she was an only child.

340

: 00:20:14

Her mother could only have one.

341

: 00:20:16

And I think that just made motherhood

so much more difficult for her.

342

: 00:20:23

As you said she was

rather retiring and shy.

343

: 00:20:27

And while my grandmother and my aunts and

all of the family accepted her, I think

344

: 00:20:33

she still always felt something adrift.

345

: 00:20:37

And so she had three children in four

years, myself and two younger ,brothers.

346

: 00:20:43

And I think it was truly overwhelming

for her and without her mother, who

347

: 00:20:49

was very important and instrumental

that I did understand to her.

348

: 00:20:55

I think there was no substitute for that.

349

: 00:20:57

I think it is very difficult for women

to lose their mothers very young.

350

: 00:21:02

My, my niece lost her mother at 14 and.

351

: 00:21:07

It just changes you.

352

: 00:21:10

I think you lose the history

and the comfort and the support.

353

: 00:21:14

Even as an adult, how many times,

even as a mature adult, you

354

: 00:21:18

think, Oh God, I wish my mom were

here to help me deal with this.

355

: 00:21:22

Rose?

356

: 00:21:23

Rose: Absolutely no doubt.

357

: 00:21:25

What would she offer?

358

: 00:21:26

Which it just, sometimes it's

just lending it a sympathetic

359

: 00:21:30

ear that you're doing okay.

360

: 00:21:32

It, this too shall pass.

361

: 00:21:35

I think just having that person there

for you is what makes it more bearable

362

: 00:21:42

to get through those tough times.

363

: 00:21:44

Candace: It's a fundamental relationship.

364

: 00:21:47

Alexandra: Mom, is there anything

that you would've wanted to do

365

: 00:21:49

differently with me or something I

should consider when I have children?

366

: 00:21:53

Candace: Done differently.

367

: 00:21:54

I think that I was it was Just the

winging of it, parenthood and, figuring

368

: 00:22:02

out you versus me and where, you need

to be and your strengths and how to play

369

: 00:22:07

into those and how to help you navigate

everything that you had to navigate,

370

: 00:22:13

from along the way with the dyslexia.

371

: 00:22:16

And I know you've talked about that

and that it just, I wish that I had.

372

: 00:22:23

Been a little bit more relaxed in

parenting and maybe only one child.

373

: 00:22:29

You multiple children help you,

you get practice, you learn.

374

: 00:22:33

So I'd like to think you'll

learn and it gets not easier, but

375

: 00:22:37

different and you feel more safe.

376

: 00:22:40

With what you know and that and so for

with Alexandra, it was always a first

377

: 00:22:46

and then onto the next 1st and no chance

to practice it with younger Children.

378

: 00:22:51

But I do know that along

the way, I loved just.

379

: 00:22:56

Observing and watching her, not

only to see where to lead and direct

380

: 00:23:02

her, but also to see who she was

becoming and watch her talk and

381

: 00:23:07

engage and interact with other people.

382

: 00:23:10

And I realized that I liked her, which

is different than loving your child.

383

: 00:23:16

They come out, you're primed to

love them, you you grow to love them

384

: 00:23:22

even more and more, and you can't

believe how much you love them.

385

: 00:23:26

But then there are these moments as they

grow and become themselves, and you look

386

: 00:23:30

at them and say, I just like that person.

387

: 00:23:33

I like the person they're becoming, and

if they were a total stranger, I would

388

: 00:23:39

make a point to get to know, and would

hope to be a friend with that person.

389

: 00:23:45

From a very young age, she would do

these things and go, I just like her,

390

: 00:23:50

and I wish I had maybe shared that.

391

: 00:23:53

I don't know if you felt that,

Alexandra, that I just liked who you

392

: 00:23:58

were becoming and liked who you are.

393

: 00:24:00

And that was the gift back to

me of parenthood, of seeing

394

: 00:24:05

that and enjoying that.

395

: 00:24:09

She still marvels me.

396

: 00:24:11

Just last year when we were all at the

beach and she was in this shop talking

397

: 00:24:15

to the shop owner and Asking questions

and talking about who she wanted to

398

: 00:24:19

be where she wanted to go And how did

this person get you know their journey?

399

: 00:24:24

How did they walk their journey?

400

: 00:24:26

And I thought I just,

I like that about her.

401

: 00:24:31

I'm just so impressed and amazed at

what she does and how she does it.

402

: 00:24:37

That's the gift of motherhood,

I think, right there.

403

: 00:24:39

That's my reward.

404

: 00:24:40

That's my gold star.

405

: 00:24:41

Christine: Mama going off of what

Alexandra's mom has just shared,

406

: 00:24:45

she made me think about the The

fact that only having one child,

407

: 00:24:50

not being able to rattle axe into

motherhood, do you agree with that?

408

: 00:24:53

Because with three you've

affectionately, you and dad have

409

: 00:24:56

affectionately called me the prototype.

410

: 00:25:00

Because every, everything with me is

a first time is the first time out.

411

: 00:25:05

But you've also have two other kids.

412

: 00:25:07

Has.

413

: 00:25:08

What would you have done differently

and were you able to do that when you,

414

: 00:25:12

when it came to Nicole and Victoria?

415

: 00:25:15

Rose: Well, somewhat.

416

: 00:25:18

Even though you were the

prototype, we knew what to expect.

417

: 00:25:21

But also take into consideration

Nicole and Tori, two completely

418

: 00:25:27

different individuals.

419

: 00:25:29

So their perspective on things was

different from what we had with you.

420

: 00:25:35

And we had a little bit to go on

and then navigating those waters

421

: 00:25:41

with them, made it somewhat easier.

422

: 00:25:45

However, I, if I had to do some things

differently spending more time leaving

423

: 00:25:52

the dishes, leaving the wash leaving

other things, cleaning the house,

424

: 00:25:57

to let's go out and make mud pies.

425

: 00:26:01

Let's go shopping.

426

: 00:26:03

Let's go get our nails done.

427

: 00:26:04

Just spending time together developing

our relationship more as outside of

428

: 00:26:12

mother daughter, like likes and dislikes.

429

: 00:26:14

And I wish I'd done more of that.

430

: 00:26:17

When you were growing up and not be so

worried about how things looked at home.

431

: 00:26:23

What was most, what really was

most important was you and your

432

: 00:26:27

sisters and being with you.

433

: 00:26:29

Christine: Okay.

434

: 00:26:30

I certainly have loved how our, I've

certainly loved how our relationship

435

: 00:26:35

has evolved as we have gotten older.

436

: 00:26:37

Even though you may not have

been able to do that when we were

437

: 00:26:40

little, I think you've done that.

438

: 00:26:41

Beautifully as we've grown into adulthood.

439

: 00:26:44

So you for that

440

: 00:26:46

Rose: I learned from past experiences and

Christine, when you went off to college,

441

: 00:26:52

that to me was like a huge wake up call.

442

: 00:26:54

wow, where did that time go?

443

: 00:26:55

It happened so fast.

444

: 00:26:57

And I made a promise to

myself that I was going to.

445

: 00:27:02

Spend more time going to lunch with

you going to thrift stores or doing

446

: 00:27:07

whatever interests we liked and

each of, and and I also understood

447

: 00:27:13

Candace: Mm

448

: 00:27:14

Rose: your sisters may

not have wanted that.

449

: 00:27:16

And I respected that, but I was

going to give them the opportunity

450

: 00:27:20

to do that with me if they chose to.

451

: 00:27:24

And I can say that I think

I've done pretty well.

452

: 00:27:27

They call me, as Tori calls me and

rants and for a half hour and you're

453

: 00:27:33

like, mom, how can you handle that?

454

: 00:27:35

How do you deal with that?

455

: 00:27:36

And I'm like because potentially

one day that may stop.

456

: 00:27:40

And I so what she needs right

now is a friendly ear to listen

457

: 00:27:46

and not tell her what to do or

how to do it, but just to listen.

458

: 00:27:50

So I like to say that I've just

learned as you guys grown, I've

459

: 00:27:55

learned how to grow with you to be

a better person, a better parent.

460

: 00:28:00

Candace: I think the being in the moment.

461

: 00:28:02

is such a hard balance.

462

: 00:28:04

Whether one or two or three they're,

yes, unique personalities, so it's a

463

: 00:28:08

different parenting experience, but the

being in the moment is such a challenge

464

: 00:28:14

when you're trying to get dinner and their

homework done and they're, all of that.

465

: 00:28:20

With just being there with

them and those conversations.

466

: 00:28:24

And I remember Alexandra being

in a little seat on a countertop

467

: 00:28:30

and I was making dinner, chopping

vegetables and talking to her.

468

: 00:28:35

And I did try.

469

: 00:28:36

To consciously interweave what

I had to do with time with her.

470

: 00:28:42

And some of that meant she learned

to do some of those things, or

471

: 00:28:46

at least saw me do those things.

472

: 00:28:48

Because that's the time that we had,

especially when they're very young

473

: 00:28:52

in their bedtimes or, a certain hours

that you have them are a little more

474

: 00:28:57

abbreviated, but I would say it is a

constant struggle to find that balance of.

475

: 00:29:03

What you have to do with what you

want to do and the time you want to

476

: 00:29:08

spend with your children and that.

477

: 00:29:10

And then maybe the gift is if you've

laid enough found foundation and the

478

: 00:29:14

groundwork that when they're adults,

you can enjoy these conversations

479

: 00:29:18

and these times and these activities

with them because you've done all

480

: 00:29:22

that other, and treasure this too.

481

: 00:29:26

This is easier and harder in

some way now that you're adults.

482

: 00:29:29

It really is.

483

: 00:29:31

It's not a band aid, it's more, you can't

fix things, you more help them navigate.

484

: 00:29:37

You listen to them, fuss for a half

hour on the phone about something

485

: 00:29:42

knowing it's in their hands,

there's, you can't take it over.

486

: 00:29:48

You can't take it over, fix

it, make it right, change it.

487

: 00:29:52

And that's entirely different.

488

: 00:29:54

step in motherhood to to change too.

489

: 00:29:58

And when you don't do that, I think you

see real conflict in adult relationships.

490

: 00:30:03

Rose: Absolutely.

491

: 00:30:04

I would agree.

492

: 00:30:05

I think to also one of the things that

helped me was offering myself some

493

: 00:30:10

graces, knowing that I was a human having

a tough day at work and then coming

494

: 00:30:16

home and navigating dinner, homework.

495

: 00:30:21

One of the things that I had to

learn was to offer myself some grace

496

: 00:30:24

to say, I'm doing the best I can.

497

: 00:30:26

My heart is in the right place.

498

: 00:30:28

And but I'm going to learn from

these experiences, grow from them

499

: 00:30:32

and next time try to do better.

500

: 00:30:34

Candace: Yeah, I agree.

501

: 00:30:36

That's the, driving force of parenthood

to, to learn and do better when you can.

502

: 00:30:42

Alexandra: Well, on those amazing

foundations, let's kind of roll into

503

: 00:30:46

our second section of how we turned out.

504

: 00:30:48

I'm sure this is where people are

definitely going to want to hear how well

505

: 00:30:52

our moms think Christine and I turned

out because it's questionable at times.

506

: 00:30:58

So Rose and Candace, based on

your parenting styles, how do you

507

: 00:31:02

think Christine and I turned out

508

: 00:31:04

Rose: Okay.

509

: 00:31:04

I absolutely.

510

: 00:31:07

You're going to start

with your mom or mom.

511

: 00:31:09

Candace: Go ahead, Rose, jump in.

512

: 00:31:11

Rose: Well, Christine turned out far

better than I ever imagined possible.

513

: 00:31:17

The

514

: 00:31:17

person she is today is I'm just like,

sometimes look at her like, wow, there are

515

: 00:31:24

a lot of things came into play for her.

516

: 00:31:27

And she's such a beautiful

person and she complimented me

517

: 00:31:31

with the the infectious smile.

518

: 00:31:33

She has that same her warmth,

her smile lights up a room.

519

: 00:31:38

She makes people immediately at

ease and wanting to talk to her.

520

: 00:31:42

And she has a great gift

of connecting with people.

521

: 00:31:47

She has a heart that's

the size of the world.

522

: 00:31:51

And with everything she does,

she, is grounded in that

523

: 00:31:54

she comes from a good place.

524

: 00:31:57

And I'm just I'm absolutely thrilled.

525

: 00:31:59

And more importantly, I'm thrilled

that she loves being around me, hanging

526

: 00:32:02

out with me, and I could say that

we're really good friends, if not.

527

: 00:32:09

Christine: Yeah, we are.

528

: 00:32:10

I say this all the time, Mama.

529

: 00:32:12

I am who I am because of you.

530

: 00:32:14

I definitely think we are

reflections of one another.

531

: 00:32:17

You are certainly one of my best friends.

532

: 00:32:19

Thank you.

533

: 00:32:21

You're gonna make me cry.

534

: 00:32:24

Rose: No,

535

: 00:32:25

Christine: those beautiful things.

536

: 00:32:26

Candace: I would say Christine is one

of my favorite people in the world.

537

: 00:32:31

And you are everything that

your mother said you are.

538

: 00:32:35

Christine: Thank you.

539

: 00:32:36

Thank you so much.

540

: 00:32:37

Candace: I'm, yeah, amazing.

541

: 00:32:41

Truly amazing.

542

: 00:32:43

You were the gift I did not expect.

543

: 00:32:46

We did not, I did not think or was told

I would not be able to carry a child.

544

: 00:32:52

So when you came along and persistently

and endured and made your way here,

545

: 00:32:59

you the fir, your first cry was.

546

: 00:33:02

It's the most magnificent

gift I'd ever been given, and

547

: 00:33:06

I'm grateful for every

moment after that, truly.

548

: 00:33:10

But saying that, I am, as I had

said before, amazed, impressed.

549

: 00:33:18

Just So appreciative of who you've become

as a person and I'm just as anxious to

550

: 00:33:24

see, I know where you've been, just as

anxious to see where you're going to go,

551

: 00:33:29

where your life is going to take you, how

you hope to see your own children grow and

552

: 00:33:34

see how that, how that life and what you

choose to do and how you integrate family

553

: 00:33:40

into your, who you, the rest of who you

want to be, all of who you want to be.

554

: 00:33:45

So yeah, you're one of

the highlights of my life.

555

: 00:33:52

Rose: Beautifully said, Candace.

556

: 00:33:53

Beautiful.

557

: 00:33:54

Alexandra: Oh, thank you guys.

558

: 00:33:56

So on those lovely notes and how

you think we turned out, what?

559

: 00:34:01

Would you each say is your favorite

thing about us that you like, how we,

560

: 00:34:05

an area that we best turned out in.

561

: 00:34:07

Rose: amazes me with her ability to

things together from a like a party

562

: 00:34:13

perspective or decorating perspective,

things that the things that I lack.

563

: 00:34:19

She possesses.

564

: 00:34:21

So I'm constantly amazed

at her wonderful vision.

565

: 00:34:28

I'd love to see things through her eyes

and how she pulls things together because

566

: 00:34:32

I'm like, wow, how did she do that?

567

: 00:34:34

Because I haven't a clue.

568

: 00:34:35

And I just love that about her.

569

: 00:34:39

She has such a beautiful way about

everything she goes about doing.

570

: 00:34:45

It's not clunky at all.

571

: 00:34:47

Like me, this is flawless.

572

: 00:34:50

In my opinion.

573

: 00:34:51

Christine: Thank you, mama.

574

: 00:34:52

Oh gosh, you're making me blush.

575

: 00:34:56

Candace: I would say Alexandra

constantly reminds me and

576

: 00:35:01

admire her sense of possibility.

577

: 00:35:04

She'd asked for a story and I

was thinking back when teaching

578

: 00:35:08

her to cross the street.

579

: 00:35:11

And she was very small,

still holding her hands.

580

: 00:35:14

We had not practiced looking

both ways and what we do.

581

: 00:35:18

So one day I decide I'm just going to ask

her what she does, what you need to do.

582

: 00:35:23

And we're standing at the edge and she,

watch her turn her little head both ways.

583

: 00:35:28

And she's very seriously

looking up the down the street.

584

: 00:35:31

And I said, what are we looking for?

585

: 00:35:33

To make sure.

586

: 00:35:34

And she goes extremely

seriously, monsters.

587

: 00:35:37

Monsters.

588

: 00:35:38

And I thought, okay, you

don't want to laugh out loud.

589

: 00:35:44

And I'm thinking.

590

: 00:35:46

Okay.

591

: 00:35:47

And she's dead serious, she is not

playing here and I said, okay, can we

592

: 00:35:52

just also look for cars and bikes and

trucks as we're crossing the street?

593

: 00:35:56

And she goes, and she looks up at with

me you're just not getting this there.

594

: 00:36:00

Those aren't the serious things,

and at that moment, it was

595

: 00:36:04

another one of those things.

596

: 00:36:05

Lessons where, okay, monsters are

like cars and trucks and everything.

597

: 00:36:11

And that reality and possibility

aren't really, are very different

598

: 00:36:17

from a child's perspective.

599

: 00:36:19

And I and yet that has never changed.

600

: 00:36:22

She continues to look at the possibility,

explore the possibility of things

601

: 00:36:28

that most people just don't see.

602

: 00:36:29

Don't really think are possible.

603

: 00:36:31

And I love that mindset

and energy about her.

604

: 00:36:35

This kind of vision, and then her

ability to turn that into something that

605

: 00:36:41

is concrete, continues to impress me.

606

: 00:36:45

And she's not deterred by what

other people think is impossible.

607

: 00:36:49

She's just not deterred by it.

608

: 00:36:51

Rose: That's awesome.

609

: 00:36:53

Alexandra: I'm sure this part, I know

I'm looking forward to, but is there

610

: 00:36:56

anything that you would like to good

naturally roast both Christine and I

611

: 00:37:00

about from growing up, any fun stories

that you would like to share and

612

: 00:37:04

that Christine and I might blush at?

613

: 00:37:06

Christine: I'm sure I've given my mom

a lot of animation in this regard.

614

: 00:37:10

So I look forward to hearing

what my mom has to say.

615

: 00:37:15

Rose: Oh boy.

616

: 00:37:16

I'm gonna let Candace go first.

617

: 00:37:18

Candace: Oh, gosh.

618

: 00:37:18

Yeah, put me on the spot.

619

: 00:37:20

I would say the thing that that we

have always and have always teased

620

: 00:37:26

her for and try to lighten up is

her Absolute sense of perfectionism.

621

: 00:37:31

From the get go if she was

writing something and it didn't

622

: 00:37:36

look exactly right, she'd

crumple it up and throw it away.

623

: 00:37:39

And, we, yes, her father

and I are, we're quite.

624

: 00:37:43

In the perfectionist side, but she

made a mission of it and we just say

625

: 00:37:48

it's okay to be outside the lines.

626

: 00:37:50

It's okay to draw outside the boxes.

627

: 00:37:53

It's all of that and that is

something that we tease, tried

628

: 00:37:57

to gently tease her through.

629

: 00:37:59

So that she could laugh at herself

so that she would stop thinking that

630

: 00:38:03

these were mistakes and errors and

failures, so that she would start

631

: 00:38:09

to see them as this is who I am.

632

: 00:38:11

And I sometimes you just have

to laugh at yourself and that

633

: 00:38:14

perfectionism is not possible.

634

: 00:38:17

It just is impossible at any age.

635

: 00:38:19

It's just not the human condition to be

perfect and and to give yourself grace.

636

: 00:38:25

The grace not to be perfect and that

sometimes there's a lot more to learn in

637

: 00:38:31

those mistakes than sometimes successes.

638

: 00:38:34

but, yeah, there were always, the funny

things are always from the mistakes You

639

: 00:38:41

know, just her frustration with not being

perfect at something the first time.

640

: 00:38:47

A virtuoso violin is the first time

she picked up the violin and the bow.

641

: 00:38:52

Yes, that is my darling, lovely daughter.

642

: 00:38:56

Christine: Yes.

643

: 00:38:56

I'm constantly like isn't there

beauty in the imperfections of life?

644

: 00:39:02

that what's truly beautiful?

645

: 00:39:04

And she's like, I hate you.

646

: 00:39:06

Candace: reminder.

647

: 00:39:09

Christine: I'm like I'm definitely

like her sister in that regard, poking

648

: 00:39:14

Candace: Yeah.

649

: 00:39:15

Tweaking,

650

: 00:39:16

Yeah exactly.

651

: 00:39:17

Christine: a lot of practice.

652

: 00:39:22

Alright, Mama, you're up.

653

: 00:39:25

Rose: of

654

: 00:39:25

Roast with I'm sure her

sisters would come up with

655

: 00:39:28

more, especially when it comes

to their nickname for her.

656

: 00:39:31

That's one thing that

she is don't go there.

657

: 00:39:35

But I could tease her about to

see the look on Christine's faces.

658

: 00:39:41

Yeah, that's always been something I

secretly chuckled at because I, it really,

659

: 00:39:47

it's really frosted her when they get

660

: 00:39:50

Christine: I still don't understand

how it took us until I became an

661

: 00:39:53

adult for it to become a thing.

662

: 00:39:55

They had this potentially since they

were little, but now they decide to

663

: 00:40:01

bring it out, and I'm like, Curse you!

664

: 00:40:06

Rose: exactly.

665

: 00:40:08

But I think the one thing I could

tease Christine about is her complete,

666

: 00:40:12

utter dislike of doing the dishes.

667

: 00:40:15

She hates doing the dishes.

668

: 00:40:19

to the point where when I come

visit her in her apartment that

669

: 00:40:24

the sink is full of dishes and I

670

: 00:40:26

help her out Because she

doesn't have a dishwasher.

671

: 00:40:29

She does try but I she totally

672

: 00:40:34

Christine: I hate silverware.

673

: 00:40:39

It's the worst possible thing for me.

674

: 00:40:42

I can't do it.

675

: 00:40:44

It just drives me up a wall.

676

: 00:40:47

I'm surprised you haven't brought

out the laundry thing, mom.

677

: 00:40:50

Rose: The

678

: 00:40:50

laundry how you bring your laundry

679

: 00:40:53

Christine: No.

680

: 00:40:53

Rose: at my house

681

: 00:40:55

Christine: I'm thinking back to when

I was a kid, and how we would, I, we

682

: 00:41:00

you'd clean all of our clothes, you'd

fold everything, and then we could never

683

: 00:41:05

Rose: Oh, yeah, they

would never put it away.

684

: 00:41:09

You know what they would do?

685

: 00:41:10

They would take clean folded

clothes and throw them in the

686

: 00:41:13

hamper just to be rewashed again.

687

: 00:41:16

Oh, yeah.

688

: 00:41:16

Christine: I don't remember

doing that so much as

689

: 00:41:18

throwing it on the floor in my closet.

690

: 00:41:19

I

691

: 00:41:23

Candace: crossed.

692

: 00:41:24

Christine: don't know what it is.

693

: 00:41:25

I don't know.

694

: 00:41:25

And even as an adult, even as an adult

now, I don't mind doing the laundry

695

: 00:41:29

and folding, but you couldn't pay me,

696

: 00:41:33

you couldn't pay me a million

dollars to put my clothes away.

697

: 00:41:36

I don't get it.

698

: 00:41:37

I just don't get it.

699

: 00:41:39

I often,

700

: 00:41:40

like, why am I like this?

701

: 00:41:42

I don't know.

702

: 00:41:42

I don't have an answer.

703

: 00:41:45

Candace: That's

704

: 00:41:48

Christine: I don't know.

705

: 00:41:49

I don't know if it's I need a

downsized clothing or what, but.

706

: 00:41:52

I just can't.

707

: 00:41:54

I can't do it.

708

: 00:41:55

I try and make it a game,

see how fast I can do it.

709

: 00:41:57

That's how I get things done.

710

: 00:42:01

Rose: That's

711

: 00:42:01

Christine: that's what's been

working in the last couple of months.

712

: 00:42:05

Yeah.

713

: 00:42:06

Rose: It's trying to

figure out where to put it.

714

: 00:42:08

Christine: Yes, that's what I do.

715

: 00:42:09

I set a timer for 15 minutes and see

how much I can put away in that time.

716

: 00:42:14

And then I get really defeated when

I haven't made a dent in 15 minutes.

717

: 00:42:21

Rose: Perhaps we should

revisit the downsizing of items

718

: 00:42:24

Christine: I think you

might be right, mom.

719

: 00:42:25

I think I need to do a major closet purge.

720

: 00:42:28

Oh

721

: 00:42:30

Candace: Or maybe not so

much laundry at one time.

722

: 00:42:33

Christine: Oh boy.

723

: 00:42:34

Alrighty on that note, why don't we

switch gears a little bit and talk a

724

: 00:42:41

little bit about Mother's Day, because

that's coming up be right around the

725

: 00:42:45

corner and here before we know it.

726

: 00:42:47

Why why don't you, Mama, and Candice

share with us any stories you have

727

: 00:42:55

that we haven't covered yet or

that you want to share before we

728

: 00:42:58

dive into Mother's Day in general.

729

: 00:43:01

Mother's Day of past and

talk about those stories.

730

: 00:43:05

Rose: Okay.

731

: 00:43:07

when this question came up, the

first very first thing that came

732

: 00:43:11

to my mind, and Christine, you're

going to have to help me with this.

733

: 00:43:15

I believe it was your senior year of high

734

: 00:43:17

school, and you were giving a

speech at at school for the May

735

: 00:43:24

crowning, and you had a line.

736

: 00:43:27

In your speech that floored me to this

day, I think about it and it never

737

: 00:43:33

dawned on me before now, before that

moment, you said only a child knows what

738

: 00:43:40

their mother's heartbeat sounds from

within, and that just, the connection

739

: 00:43:49

I felt with you at that moment in time

was quite literally one of the proudest

740

: 00:43:56

moments that I brought such a beautiful

person in the world who recognized.

741

: 00:44:04

The importance of that wow.

742

: 00:44:07

So that that was one

of my fondest memories.

743

: 00:44:11

And always, spending time with

all three of you together and

744

: 00:44:14

the bantering that goes on.

745

: 00:44:16

I love that.

746

: 00:44:18

Christine: we should take it.

747

: 00:44:18

We should take it on the road.

748

: 00:44:19

Rose: the

749

: 00:44:19

shenanigans, you should,

the shenanigans that happen.

750

: 00:44:25

It's a comedy scene for

751

: 00:44:26

sure.

752

: 00:44:28

So I would be remissed if I didn't include

your sisters and the special memories

753

: 00:44:35

is that spending time with the three

of you is a truly great joy for me.

754

: 00:44:44

Candace: I think it's those memories

and the time together that's the gift.

755

: 00:44:48

People think they need to give gifts,

but the gift is your time and your

756

: 00:44:52

presence and the laughter and the fun.

757

: 00:44:55

I remember Mother's Day's, Christmas's

birthdays that are tied to something

758

: 00:45:01

that we did and usually had a lot

of laughs along the way doing it.

759

: 00:45:05

And I think that's what makes

those days special and always

760

: 00:45:10

trying to do those things.

761

: 00:45:12

It's my favorite thing even, I'm thinking

of like even last year, Alexandra,

762

: 00:45:17

with the first year after your father

passed away, we, it was hard to think

763

: 00:45:23

about celebrating Mother's Day or

Father's Day without him, but you

764

: 00:45:29

planned a special day at the vineyard

and we went and it was so It's sunny

765

: 00:45:34

and breezy and beautiful and the

kitchen was backed up for over an hour.

766

: 00:45:39

So we sat there and just watched and

daddy's favorite, he loved the cardinals

767

: 00:45:45

and it's also the North Carolina state

bird, but he loved cardinals and they

768

: 00:45:51

were just cardinals there and it was just

as if, yeah, we're still all together.

769

: 00:45:56

We're still laughing and

enjoying this time and.

770

: 00:46:00

And sharing this time.

771

: 00:46:02

And it's just one of those memories

I won't, will always treasure.

772

: 00:46:06

And I know it was really difficult for

Alexandra to plan and to do that for me.

773

: 00:46:13

But she did.

774

: 00:46:14

Rose: Yeah, absolutely.

775

: 00:46:16

Beautiful.

776

: 00:46:17

Candace: She's a lovely girl.

777

: 00:46:19

Alexandra: Before we get too much

further, I think there was a funny

778

: 00:46:22

story that my mom wanted to tell

about, somewhat my precociousness as

779

: 00:46:27

a child and how I liked things to look.

780

: 00:46:29

There was a story specifically

about Joseph and the manger.

781

: 00:46:33

So mom, do you want to share that?

782

: 00:46:36

Candace: Oh yeah.

783

: 00:46:38

Alexandra has visions of how things look

and as I said, she's good at execution.

784

: 00:46:43

And so when she was really little,

maybe she would have been three to four.

785

: 00:46:48

So early Christmases the manger's out

and the figurines would have Joseph and

786

: 00:46:53

Mary around the And with the baby and

Jesus, and we'd, be lit up and I'd walk

787

: 00:47:01

by and Joseph would be out in the stable

with the sheep and I'd move Joseph back.

788

: 00:47:08

Eventually I did figure out it was her.

789

: 00:47:10

And the next thing I know I'd walk

by, Joseph's back out in the stable.

790

: 00:47:14

I'm like, Alexander, out in the stable?

791

: 00:47:18

And I don't, she said,

Cause he needs to be there.

792

: 00:47:22

And that was her explanation.

793

: 00:47:23

It's okay, but then her godmother also

said she'd come in the house and she

794

: 00:47:29

would She didn't wear a figurine or a

vase or something was and she'd shift it

795

: 00:47:35

somewhere else and if asked why she says

it's better there for whatever reason,

796

: 00:47:39

yeah, that's her better there than, her

better there than, she likes to, she

797

: 00:47:43

has an idea, she puts it into action.

798

: 00:47:46

But yeah, we never really did figure

out, I don't know that you ever really

799

: 00:47:50

gave us an answer to why you thought

that was where he needed to be out

800

: 00:47:54

there, taking care of the, taking

care of the animals, but it was funny.

801

: 00:47:59

Christine: well, why don't

802

: 00:48:00

We, Alexandra, you and I take a few

minutes to maybe talk about what plans we

803

: 00:48:05

have in store this year for Mother's Day.

804

: 00:48:08

This year, Mom and I, we're

going on a little road trip

805

: 00:48:11

up to visit Nicole in Boston.

806

: 00:48:13

Her roommate, Gianna, is graduating

from law school and it just so happens

807

: 00:48:18

to fall on Mother's Day weekend.

808

: 00:48:20

So we're taking a road trip up there and

we'll be spending some time with her.

809

: 00:48:25

Nicole and her friends.

810

: 00:48:27

Really looking forward to that.

811

: 00:48:29

I have a couple of things cooking,

a little treasures I'm going to be

812

: 00:48:33

bringing along the way to give mom,

but that's what I've got in store.

813

: 00:48:38

How about you, Alexandra?

814

: 00:48:40

Alexandra: Well, for this year I

know mom briefly talked about what

815

: 00:48:42

we did last year, but this year my

sister and her friend got both my

816

: 00:48:47

mom and I for our birthdays, a plant,

a certificate to go make terrariums

817

: 00:48:52

right in Charlotte where they live.

818

: 00:48:54

So we're going to.

819

: 00:48:56

go down to Charlotte on Mother's Day.

820

: 00:48:58

And our plan is to spend time with my

sister, Simmi and our friend Jordan,

821

: 00:49:03

and do this plant terrarium baking

workshop which I'm really excited to do.

822

: 00:49:09

And then either we're going to take

mom to lunch prior to that or dinner

823

: 00:49:13

after depending on when we schedule a

time, but I'm really looking forward

824

: 00:49:16

to being able to spend this Mother's

Day with both mom, Simmi and Jordan.

825

: 00:49:20

I think it'll be a nice evolution

of our Mother's Days together.

826

: 00:49:25

Christine: That sounds so fun.

827

: 00:49:26

Candace: I love, it's, to me, that's

like the perfect thing is to go and

828

: 00:49:30

doing something together like that.

829

: 00:49:32

And then just and then

you leave with a terrarium

830

: 00:49:35

of

831

: 00:49:35

plants.

832

: 00:49:35

So,

833

: 00:49:39

Exactly.

834

: 00:49:40

Christine: Mama, is there

anything you wanna do while we

835

: 00:49:44

up, while we're up in Boston?

836

: 00:49:46

I know we haven't really had a chance

to talk about it yet might as well now.

837

: 00:49:50

Rose: I just really, I'm hopeful

that the weather will cooperate

838

: 00:49:53

and we can spend some time.

839

: 00:49:56

Nicole lives in the north end of

Boston, so there's a lot of historic.

840

: 00:50:00

areas there.

841

: 00:50:01

So just walking around together,

exploring that area with the

842

: 00:50:06

girls also celebrating Gianna.

843

: 00:50:09

This is a huge achievement for

her graduating from law school.

844

: 00:50:12

And unfortunately, her own mother

will not be able to make it.

845

: 00:50:16

I feel, I'm really excited about being

able to share that time with her to

846

: 00:50:20

celebrate her and her achievement.

847

: 00:50:23

So I'm just really looking forward to it.

848

: 00:50:25

Such a beautiful waterfront

area we can walk.

849

: 00:50:28

so just being together

and exploring new areas.

850

: 00:50:32

Christine: absolutely.

851

: 00:50:33

I think there's there's a

museum that, I think, is it

852

: 00:50:37

the Something Gardener Museum?

853

: 00:50:41

Alexandra, do you know that one in Boston?

854

: 00:50:44

there's a museum in Boston.

855

: 00:50:46

It's actually, there was a, this is a

little bit of a tangent and side note,

856

: 00:50:49

but there was a Netflix documentary

about this museum because it had

857

: 00:50:53

the biggest robbery at a museum.

858

: 00:50:56

anyway, that's not why I want to go

there, but it has beautiful, it has

859

: 00:51:01

a beautiful garden courtyard area.

860

: 00:51:03

So I was thinking, I don't know if

we will have time, but maybe we can

861

: 00:51:07

go check that out as a group and

spend an afternoon there if if that's

862

: 00:51:11

something you'd be interested in.

863

: 00:51:12

So I don't know, there's lots to do.

864

: 00:51:14

I've also never done a sail on the.

865

: 00:51:18

Is it the harbor

866

: 00:51:19

Rose: Yes, on the Inner Harbor

867

: 00:51:21

Christine: yeah.

868

: 00:51:21

So we also always love

like a nice sailboat ride.

869

: 00:51:25

So yeah, really looking forward to

this year's mother's day celebration.

870

: 00:51:30

And it's just going to be good to all

be together and celebrate our mom.

871

: 00:51:34

because she's pretty remarkable.

872

: 00:51:37

Both of you are.

873

: 00:51:40

Rose: I think it's safe to say

listening to the two of you and how

874

: 00:51:46

you interact with each other and

others shows us we did good work.

875

: 00:51:52

Well done, Candice.

876

: 00:51:55

Candace: Well done Rose it's definitely

our pat on the back for a job well done.

877

: 00:52:00

Yeah.

878

: 00:52:01

You're beautiful women.

879

: 00:52:02

You're beautiful women.

880

: 00:52:03

You've got great spirit

and great energy and

881

: 00:52:08

I am thrilled to be able to see what you

do now and what you will do in the future.

882

: 00:52:16

I have great expectations in

the best way possible for you.

883

: 00:52:21

Yeah.

884

: 00:52:21

Christine: I've been

blushing this whole time.

885

: 00:52:25

If you could see me.

886

: 00:52:27

Alexandra: As we wrap up today's

episode, I can't but help feel

887

: 00:52:30

grateful for the incredible women

who shaped us into who we are today.

888

: 00:52:34

From their unique parenting styles to

the lessons they imparted, our mothers

889

: 00:52:37

have left an indelible mark on our lives.

890

: 00:52:40

With Mother's Day just around the

corner, it's the perfect time to

891

: 00:52:42

reflect on the love, sacrifices,

and laughter they have given us.

892

: 00:52:46

But our journey doesn't end here.

893

: 00:52:48

Join us next week as we delve into the

evolution of our relationships with our

894

: 00:52:51

mothers, from caregivers to confidants.

895

: 00:52:54

It's a conversation

you won't want to miss.

896

: 00:52:56

So mark your calendars and tune in

for part two of our special series.

897

: 00:53:00

Until then, remember to cherish

those special moments with your

898

: 00:53:03

moms and keep spreading the love.

899

: 00:53:05

Thanks for listening and

we'll catch you next time.

900

: 00:53:07

Christine: Enjoying the

conversations we're having and

901

: 00:53:09

the topics we're discussing?

902

: 00:53:11

Consider supporting us through

our Buy Us a Coffee page.

903

: 00:53:14

We greatly appreciate any help in

creating this podcast we love so much.

904

: 00:53:18

Link in our show notes and link tree.

905

: 00:53:20

Before we end, don't forget to

like, subscribe, or follow us on

906

: 00:53:23

your preferred listening platform.

907

: 00:53:25

And we'll catch you next time.