Sayings & Mantras

Alexandra: 00:00:11

Hello and welcome to the mirror project.

2

: 00:00:13

We are your host, Alexandra,

3

: 00:00:15

Christine: And Christine,

4

: 00:00:15

Alexandra: and we're so glad

you're joining us today.

5

: 00:00:17

We are diving into the tapes.

6

: 00:00:18

We play over and over in our heads.

7

: 00:00:20

I don't know about you, Christine,

but I feel like we're about to

8

: 00:00:22

enter a carnival and should warn our

listeners to strap themselves in.

9

: 00:00:26

I mean, hands, arms, and feet

inside the carriage at all times.

10

: 00:00:30

Christine: here we go.

11

: 00:00:32

Before we dive into today's topic,

like, subscribe, or follow us on

12

: 00:00:35

your preferred listening platform.

13

: 00:00:37

Go ahead, pause, and do

it now before you forget.

14

: 00:00:40

Don't worry, we won't

get started without you!

15

: 00:00:43

So what do we mean when we say the

tapes we play over in our heads?

16

: 00:00:47

Alexandra: Well, those are often

like our internal monologues or

17

: 00:00:50

dialogues that we have with ourselves.

18

: 00:00:52

And so sometimes those are the constant

running stream of thoughts that we have,

19

: 00:00:56

or at least for me, because there's

always Those things going on in my head.

20

: 00:01:00

And then I talked to a coworker

and she was like, that is

21

: 00:01:03

literally not how I think at all,

and I was like, Flabbergasted.

22

: 00:01:06

So if you are one of the lucky ones who

just does not have that internal dialogue,

23

: 00:01:11

my gosh, I wish I was you, but for many

people, it's often the more negative ones

24

: 00:01:18

that are playing and are louder, right?

25

: 00:01:20

Those are the ones that kind of feed off

of our insecurities and doubts and the

26

: 00:01:25

emotions that we're kind of suppressing

or just experiencing in that moment.

27

: 00:01:29

And we'd love to start changing those.

28

: 00:01:32

To more positive ones, which is always a

process and never snap of your fingers.

29

: 00:01:37

So today we're going to dive into

what we are currently thinking stuff

30

: 00:01:42

we've been exposed to and how to

go forward creating better mantras.

31

: 00:01:47

So Christine, what were some of

the things that your parents told

32

: 00:01:50

you when you were younger that you

kind of had running in your head?

33

: 00:01:54

Those were your young

child family mantras.

34

: 00:01:57

Christine: Yeah.

35

: 00:01:58

So when I think back on it, , the mantras

and sayings that stick out to me from when

36

: 00:02:02

I was a kid always were positive, they

may helped me feel excited and energized.

37

: 00:02:09

To greet each day and one in particular

is something my dad would say to me and

38

: 00:02:15

my sisters before we left for school each

day, which was go make history today and.

39

: 00:02:20

Looking back on that, one might think

like, wow, that's really intense to say

40

: 00:02:25

to some kids, but it was more so like,

whether it's big or small, find something

41

: 00:02:31

in the day that makes an impact on and

your history and perhaps on someone

42

: 00:02:37

else and their history, and I always

loved that, and I still think about

43

: 00:02:42

it to this day actually I was thinking

about it when I was walking to my car

44

: 00:02:46

the other morning and I was like, Damn,

sometimes I wish I was a kid again.

45

: 00:02:50

Just feeling the excitement I would

have for each day and having my

46

: 00:02:54

dad say, go out and make history.

47

: 00:02:57

So yeah, that's, that's one

that really sticks out for me.

48

: 00:03:01

Alexandra: And then I know your

family is a very much a loving family.

49

: 00:03:04

So was there any things surrounding

the love you had for each other?

50

: 00:03:08

Each other?

51

: 00:03:09

Christine: Yeah, there's

one in particular.

52

: 00:03:11

My mom would say that she said to me

the first time she really had a chance

53

: 00:03:15

to hold me in the hospital after I

was born, which we use to this day.

54

: 00:03:20

And we say, I love you forever, forever.

55

: 00:03:23

I will love you.

56

: 00:03:24

And I love it because it's, even

though it's repetitive, it's.

57

: 00:03:28

Shows this, the, the unending nature

of the love we have for each other.

58

: 00:03:34

And I just carry that with me

always because you know, my

59

: 00:03:37

family is so important to me

60

: 00:03:39

Alexandra: Yeah.

61

: 00:03:40

And from that, that saying, it's almost.

62

: 00:03:44

You get the sense that it's unconditional.

63

: 00:03:45

Right.

64

: 00:03:46

I think so much of love and you

know, what we tell other people is

65

: 00:03:49

comes with conditions and strings.

66

: 00:03:51

So I just love that that's a very

giving and then open to receiving.

67

: 00:03:55

Yeah, that's

68

: 00:03:56

beautiful.

69

: 00:03:57

Christine: Thank you.

70

: 00:03:58

And how about you?

71

: 00:03:58

Hmm.

72

: 00:04:01

Alexandra: sayings, I mean, my dad

was always like somebody of the finish

73

: 00:04:05

what you start and the measure twice

cut once which was hilarious because.

74

: 00:04:11

Later, as an adult, when I would

do projects with my dad, he

75

: 00:04:14

would often not measure twice

and cut and then be very upset.

76

: 00:04:18

So that was a do as I say, not

as I do moment and from my mom

77

: 00:04:25

and really both of my parents.

78

: 00:04:27

So I found out I had intermittent

dyslexia when I was very small.

79

: 00:04:31

I never Remember a time of not having it.

80

: 00:04:34

I mean, luckily now most letters and

things don't flip my page unless I'm

81

: 00:04:38

very tired, but when I was a child,

people thought I was lying because

82

: 00:04:41

sometimes the word saw was saw.

83

: 00:04:43

And sometimes it was, was, and one thing

was my parents never labeled me dyslexic

84

: 00:04:49

or did anything special for me at school.

85

: 00:04:52

We would only tell teachers if it became

pertinent to something in a grade.

86

: 00:04:56

And part of that, I really appreciate

because they hired a, okay.

87

: 00:05:01

A math tutor to, to teach me how

to read, which was really cool.

88

: 00:05:05

And part of what I learned that

summer was this thing that they

89

: 00:05:09

would always say to me after, which

was, if you can't go through, what's

90

: 00:05:12

the way over around and under.

91

: 00:05:14

And so that has been a huge

mentor throughout my life.

92

: 00:05:17

It's okay.

93

: 00:05:18

Come up to a roadblock.

94

: 00:05:21

Okay.

95

: 00:05:21

Can't go through it right

now, over under and around.

96

: 00:05:24

And if I have to demolition

a new way through.

97

: 00:05:26

So that has always been

something that's in my mind.

98

: 00:05:28

And then As we've established in

our last episode, I'm a bit serious.

99

: 00:05:34

And with that comes my type

A perfectionist personality.

100

: 00:05:37

And my parents never expected

perfection for me, but what

101

: 00:05:41

they did expect was my best.

102

: 00:05:43

So that was something also we don't expect

perfection or for you to be perfect.

103

: 00:05:48

We expect you to do your absolute best.

104

: 00:05:51

And I think as great as those were,

I have since warped them into,

105

: 00:05:57

you know, A lot less positive,

but at the root, they're positive.

106

: 00:06:01

And the other one was, if you

have nice things, take care of it.

107

: 00:06:05

Take care of it and

love it for generations.

108

: 00:06:07

Be grateful.

109

: 00:06:08

So those are the ones I remember as kids.

110

: 00:06:10

So now that we've talked about what

we were told as children, what are the

111

: 00:06:14

tapes that you play to yourself now?

112

: 00:06:17

What is, what is it like living

113

: 00:06:20

Christine: Currently, yeah, it's, it's

really interesting because it wasn't

114

: 00:06:24

until we sat down and sort of thinking

about different topics we wanted to

115

: 00:06:29

discuss that I really started analyzing

what are my mantras and what are the

116

: 00:06:33

tapes that are playing in my head.

117

: 00:06:34

And this year in particular

has been A tough year.

118

: 00:06:39

It's had some ups, it's had some

downs, and I'm happy where I'm at now,

119

: 00:06:43

but it's been a journey nonetheless.

120

: 00:06:45

And so I would say I've been really

examining what are the things I'm saying

121

: 00:06:52

to myself and what should I be saying

to myself and where to even start.

122

: 00:06:57

Right?

123

: 00:06:57

So I really noticed that I was.

124

: 00:07:02

a friend to myself, then I should

not be talking the way I am because

125

: 00:07:07

I would be a horrible friend.

126

: 00:07:09

I would just not want

to be friends with me.

127

: 00:07:14

And something I've been really learning

and growing to accept and truly

128

: 00:07:19

understanding is to speak to yourself how

you want to be, how you speak to others.

129

: 00:07:24

So you need to treat yourself how

you want to be treated, almost.

130

: 00:07:29

Flipping that, treat others

the way you want to be treated,

131

: 00:07:31

and putting it on yourself.

132

: 00:07:32

Treat yourself the way

you want to be treated.

133

: 00:07:34

So I started trying to correct, or

stop and correct myself when I start

134

: 00:07:41

having negative thoughts, or start

playing a tape in my head that is trying

135

: 00:07:45

to put myself down, and think about,

why am I, why am I thinking this way?

136

: 00:07:49

Why am I Why am I talking

to myself in this way?

137

: 00:07:53

And once I started to become more aware

of that, I then started to think, well,

138

: 00:07:58

what should I be saying to myself?

139

: 00:07:59

And one of the things that really helps

me, I was talking with my mom about it.

140

: 00:08:04

One day she was like,

have you ever considered.

141

: 00:08:08

Manifesting what you want for each

day when you get up in the morning?

142

: 00:08:12

And, she was like, I don't mean what

you say in your head, I mean actually

143

: 00:08:16

speak it out loud, into the universe.

144

: 00:08:19

And I, and I was like, I don't

know, I, I, I, no, I've never

145

: 00:08:24

done anything like that before.

146

: 00:08:25

And she's like, well maybe

you should give it a try.

147

: 00:08:28

And it was, Some of the best

advice I heard at that time

148

: 00:08:31

because I live by myself.

149

: 00:08:33

I don't talk to anybody I

wasn't talking to anybody until

150

: 00:08:36

I got to work in the morning.

151

: 00:08:37

So just taking that moment to Think

about what I want to get out of the

152

: 00:08:42

day, taking it back to when I was

a kid, go, go out and make history.

153

: 00:08:45

What do I want to do and get out

of today and talking that out loud.

154

: 00:08:50

And it really put me

in a great head space.

155

: 00:08:53

And I would enter in into any situation

feeling like not like I had armor on,

156

: 00:09:03

but feeling like I was prepared for

whatever was going to come my way.

157

: 00:09:07

And that.

158

: 00:09:07

I wasn't going to be taken

down by any other negativity

159

: 00:09:11

that was happening around me.

160

: 00:09:14

And so, that's kind of

where I'm at right now.

161

: 00:09:17

Alexandra: That's amazing.

162

: 00:09:17

Cause I know that, you know, and

last year,: 2023

163

: 00:09:22

quite a lot because you were just

not feeling great in your job.

164

: 00:09:25

And there were moments where

it was like, Oh, Christine, I

165

: 00:09:28

just want to give you a hug.

166

: 00:09:29

Like, like you've got

this, you can do this.

167

: 00:09:32

And you know, particularly if you're in

an environment that is kind of draining

168

: 00:09:35

or not fulfilling, it's almost as it

makes those negative tapes louder.

169

: 00:09:40

So I love that you started Like

proclaiming to the world in the morning

170

: 00:09:44

that this is what I want for the day.

171

: 00:09:47

That's

172

: 00:09:48

Christine: Yeah.

173

: 00:09:48

Yeah.

174

: 00:09:49

And I started talking to myself.

175

: 00:09:51

Like, I think a lot of people, they

exist throughout the day, not realizing

176

: 00:09:56

that they have themselves as company.

177

: 00:09:57

So I started talking to myself

and really being present and

178

: 00:10:01

understanding, like, I always have me.

179

: 00:10:05

So, I should be kind to myself,

I should support myself the way

180

: 00:10:10

my friends and family support me.

181

: 00:10:12

And it was a great exercise that my

mom suggested I do, and I'm, and I'm

182

: 00:10:18

Alexandra: Yeah, and I would say that

we're probably both a bit introverts.

183

: 00:10:22

So we do like our alone time.

184

: 00:10:25

And so who are you with when you're alone?

185

: 00:10:27

Yourself!

186

: 00:10:28

And having better conversations

with yourself is really important.

187

: 00:10:32

And I would say that my journey, because

I mean a lot of this is like Some of what

188

: 00:10:39

we're talking about today is our internal

tapes, what we want to manifest, which

189

: 00:10:42

is positive going forward, but addressing

those old negative tapes, right.

190

: 00:10:46

And having compassion for ourselves,

which like you, I do not talk to myself

191

: 00:10:51

the way I would talk to my friends.

192

: 00:10:53

And as a bit of a public service

announcement for anyone listening strongly

193

: 00:10:58

endorsed therapy with a good therapist.

194

: 00:10:59

I've been in it for a while and,

you know, it's not just about how we

195

: 00:11:03

behave or act or go through the day.

196

: 00:11:05

It can be things around.

197

: 00:11:07

Eating like I'm sure we'll talk

about this at some point on this

198

: 00:11:11

podcast, but I've had an eating

disorder and a bit of body dysmorphia.

199

: 00:11:14

So the way I talk to myself

around food and food is one thing

200

: 00:11:18

that we have to consume, right.

201

: 00:11:20

You know, to feed and move

us throughout the day.

202

: 00:11:22

And the way I would talk to myself

about my body and about what I was

203

: 00:11:26

eating was genuinely horrendous.

204

: 00:11:29

And so doing really hard work

this past over this past year in

205

: 00:11:32

therapy, I've been able to pinpoint

and say, okay, You know, stop.

206

: 00:11:37

It's okay that you feel this

way, but it's not actually true.

207

: 00:11:40

And like, my therapist loves this, and

I'm like, what is the proof of that?

208

: 00:11:43

And so that also helps, kind of go, are

these negative tapes really accurate?

209

: 00:11:48

And I'm not saying this is easy work.

210

: 00:11:50

Anyone, guys, if you've got negative

tapes, feel free, I'm with you.

211

: 00:11:54

Because it is hard to change them, right?

212

: 00:11:56

Like, if you've, I've spent 20 plus

years thinking this way, right?

213

: 00:12:01

And that's a lot of time buildup of these

negative tapes and saying like a positive

214

: 00:12:07

mantra once is not going to do a lot.

215

: 00:12:10

It's a great start.

216

: 00:12:11

It's a great start, but it's

not going to do a whole lot.

217

: 00:12:14

And it's each moment and I tend to be it.

218

: 00:12:17

As we said, perfectionist.

219

: 00:12:18

And so if I'm not perfect at

something right out the go, like if

220

: 00:12:21

I haven't just flipped a switch and

I'm like, Oh, I'm suddenly positive.

221

: 00:12:24

I think I've done something wrong.

222

: 00:12:25

And learning to have that compassion

for yourself, as you had said,

223

: 00:12:28

Christine of like, what do you want

for the day and stopping and go, okay,

224

: 00:12:32

I see that you've come up because of.

225

: 00:12:34

you're trying to protect me or whatever,

but we don't need that right now.

226

: 00:12:38

So I would definitely say that

there's been a major transformation

227

: 00:12:41

in the way I talk to myself.

228

: 00:12:43

Is it where I want to be?

229

: 00:12:46

Not yet, but as we've talked about on this

progress podcast, we are always a work

230

: 00:12:50

in progress and it's working on making

the more positive, the changes louder.

231

: 00:12:56

Christine: And like anything, it's

going to take time because it took

232

: 00:13:00

a significant amount of time for

you to be at the point you're at

233

: 00:13:03

where you may have those negative

tapes running in your head, right?

234

: 00:13:06

It was years of maybe not constant

negativity being Put on you, but it builds

235

: 00:13:13

up over time, so you can't expect, like,

it to turn around the, the one time you

236

: 00:13:17

decide to, to speak up and manifest what

you want for the day or read the mantra

237

: 00:13:24

you have on your bathroom mirror when

you're getting ready for the morning.

238

: 00:13:27

Alexandra: Yeah.

239

: 00:13:28

Christine: it's going to take

time and that's okay, but

240

: 00:13:30

you just got to keep at it.

241

: 00:13:31

You got to keep trying.

242

: 00:13:32

Alexandra: Christine, we know

that's not the answer I like.

243

: 00:13:35

I want it to be, you know,

today and apparently,

244

: 00:13:39

Christine: a whole nother issue.

245

: 00:13:42

Instant gratification.

246

: 00:13:44

Alexandra: yeah.

247

: 00:13:44

And it was funny, you know, because we've

talked about, I've, I've been through

248

: 00:13:49

therapy and still currently go, but you

know, I was sitting down and my therapist

249

: 00:13:53

looked at me one day and she's like, the

standards you set for yourself and the

250

: 00:13:56

way you talk, she's like, that's insane.

251

: 00:13:58

Right.

252

: 00:13:58

It's like.

253

: 00:13:59

And that was like, why I was like,

Oh, this is going to be a carnival

254

: 00:14:01

because she's like, you have a

fun house mere yardstick that

255

: 00:14:06

keeps changing and keeps moving.

256

: 00:14:09

And it's just setting those

unrealistic expectations.

257

: 00:14:12

And so it's, it's a little bring a,

bringing our tapes back to reality.

258

: 00:14:16

And then changing it to

where do we want to move to?

259

: 00:14:20

And I think that's a great segue

into what we're gonna talk about

260

: 00:14:24

next, which is, okay, so we have

these negative tapes or positive.

261

: 00:14:28

If you have positive ones, awesome.

262

: 00:14:31

How do we work on creating new mantras,

like new sayings, new things that

263

: 00:14:35

we can repeat to ourselves to start

to change the tide of the old tapes?

264

: 00:14:41

And you know, so what is your

approach, Christine, when

265

: 00:14:44

you want to create new tapes?

266

: 00:14:47

Christine: Sure.

267

: 00:14:47

So I, there's definitely no wrong way.

268

: 00:14:50

I think step number one is

recognizing how you're speaking to

269

: 00:14:55

yourself and figuring out what you

need to say to yourself, right?

270

: 00:15:00

Because that's, that's I think the

biggest part of the battle is you need

271

: 00:15:04

to recognize when you're Not being

kind to yourself and dig deeper and

272

: 00:15:09

figure out why and what do I need?

273

: 00:15:13

So that's what I like to

do whenever I need to find.

274

: 00:15:17

A new way to be more kind to

myself and be more present.

275

: 00:15:23

And from there, I start thinking

about what brings me joy.

276

: 00:15:27

And if I'm realizing that's a lot

of external, you're seeking a lot of

277

: 00:15:31

external things to, to bring you joy.

278

: 00:15:36

Okay, we need to analyze that and we

need to figure out like, okay, what do I

279

: 00:15:39

need to do to Find that within myself so

280

: 00:15:43

that's where I start.

281

: 00:15:44

Alexandra: It's almost like having

a joy furnace inside your body.

282

: 00:15:47

Right.

283

: 00:15:47

Like this constant burning flame of joy.

284

: 00:15:51

Christine: and sometimes it's

barely an ember, but sometimes it's,

285

: 00:15:54

it's bright and burning strong,

286

: 00:15:57

Alexandra: And to build off of

that, like you said about what

287

: 00:16:00

excites you and motivates you.

288

: 00:16:01

Yeah.

289

: 00:16:02

You don't want a, a mantra or a

saying to be, oh, another thing

290

: 00:16:07

I have to do, and ugh, I didn't

get to it, and I feel terrible.

291

: 00:16:10

Like, that's not what

you want this to become.

292

: 00:16:12

Right.

293

: 00:16:13

So I would say figuring out what you need.

294

: 00:16:16

And we can, we'll definitely get into

things of like how to structure them

295

: 00:16:20

or what advice that we have, but it's

definitely what feels right to you.

296

: 00:16:24

And you can try something out for

a couple of days to a week and say,

297

: 00:16:29

Hm, that doesn't quite feel right

and go back to the drawing board and

298

: 00:16:34

maybe change up a word or two and

try that one and until it feels good.

299

: 00:16:38

And of course, you don't have to do just

one for one thing you want to work on.

300

: 00:16:41

You can always do multiple.

301

: 00:16:43

One thing I love from Louise Hay and I

think it was in, The power is in you book.

302

: 00:16:50

And I know she's repeated it a couple of

times in her books, but she always talks

303

: 00:16:54

about like the cosmic kitchen, right?

304

: 00:16:56

Ordering from the cosmic kitchen.

305

: 00:16:57

And you can say with your affirmations

and, you know, mantras, you can be

306

: 00:17:01

like, ah, this is what I'm looking for.

307

: 00:17:03

And you can get it and go.

308

: 00:17:05

Really not quite what I thought

I was going to get and you

309

: 00:17:07

can go, thank you universe.

310

: 00:17:08

However, I'm going to put a new order

and I want it slightly different and

311

: 00:17:12

that's totally okay because I think

again, perfectionist tendency, I

312

: 00:17:15

was like, Oh, that's not possible.

313

: 00:17:16

I've been saying this and that's,

I get very stuck right around.

314

: 00:17:20

It's got to be perfect.

315

: 00:17:21

I've got to say it this way.

316

: 00:17:22

It's got to be with this intention.

317

: 00:17:24

And so, yeah.

318

: 00:17:26

Is there anything you would recommend

people, of course, there's no wrong

319

: 00:17:30

way to do this, but is there anything

that you've recommended people?

320

: 00:17:32

Maybe avoid doing or when they

start writing their mantras,

321

: 00:17:36

Christine: So, when it comes to creating

mantras for yourself, I think it's really

322

: 00:17:40

important to avoid any negative language,

like not or don't, because you don't

323

: 00:17:47

want to start off on the wrong foot.

324

: 00:17:48

You want these to be

positive and bring you joy.

325

: 00:17:52

Another thing I would say is try and

keep them on the shorter side, it's

326

: 00:17:55

easier to remember and will stick

in your brain and may even pop up

327

: 00:18:01

in moments when you need them most.

328

: 00:18:04

So short and sweet is

always a good way to go.

329

: 00:18:08

And I would say It's also really important

to make sure they're coming from a

330

: 00:18:15

genuine place and say something like, I'm

willing to learn, or I'm willing to start.

331

: 00:18:21

And starting small is okay.

332

: 00:18:23

So those would be my, my tips when

sitting down to think about a mantra

333

: 00:18:28

that you want to create for yourself.

334

: 00:18:31

Alexandra: Yeah, I would agree.

335

: 00:18:32

I think that's really good to start

small because I, I think sometimes

336

: 00:18:36

I love Louise Hay's work, but

sometimes they can be very long.

337

: 00:18:39

And when you're starting out, you're like,

Oh my gosh, how will I remember all that?

338

: 00:18:42

So I definitely think short and sweet.

339

: 00:18:43

And as you get more practice at

it, you can definitely build.

340

: 00:18:46

And like you said, the genuine place, I

think sometimes, particularly on social

341

: 00:18:51

media, depending on who you follow,

you can see things of like, Okay.

342

: 00:18:54

Almost what I would call overly positive

overly enthusiastic mantras, you know,

343

: 00:18:58

like that just does not feel genuine

to me and where I'm at So I like that

344

: 00:19:03

that I'm willing to learn I'm willing

to learn to start is a beautiful way.

345

: 00:19:09

I would say The other thing that I've

seen and this is a personal preference

346

: 00:19:14

everyone So if you resonate with this

cool, and if you don't just keep doing

347

: 00:19:18

what you're doing so I like to avoid

the term release when I Use mantras

348

: 00:19:25

or positive sayings or affirmations

Because think about it right re is

349

: 00:19:31

it's got this essence of return recur

coming back You know, you want somebody

350

: 00:19:38

to return to you you want a reminder

of something So bringing it up again,

351

: 00:19:45

and it's almost like a boomerang right?

352

: 00:19:47

Yes, send it out and it comes flying

back at you Most of the things you want

353

: 00:19:51

to release you do not want coming back.

354

: 00:19:54

And so the terms I like to use are

Clear clear it out and let it go

355

: 00:20:01

because particularly like let's say you

Hypothetical you're not a great situation

356

: 00:20:07

situationship or relation and you're like,

you really want to change how you approach

357

: 00:20:10

that and you're ready to start cutting

some toxic people out of your life.

358

: 00:20:14

Well, you don't want to say,

I release this person because

359

: 00:20:17

you may not want them back.

360

: 00:20:18

Christine: Mhm.

361

: 00:20:19

Alexandra: So he's like, I'm ready to

clear this energy, this out of my life.

362

: 00:20:23

I want to let go of this.

363

: 00:20:25

I don't need this anymore.

364

: 00:20:27

So that would be really my biggest caveat

and a personal preference when it comes

365

: 00:20:31

to writing mantras is yes, no return.

366

: 00:20:34

Of the things we no longer want.

367

: 00:20:36

Christine: Yeah, that's a really good

point, letting, when you want to let

368

: 00:20:40

something go, you don't want it to

come back to you, so, I like that,

369

: 00:20:44

not, not release, not, not return,

370

: 00:20:48

Alexandra: Yeah.

371

: 00:20:48

What it just makes me think,

it's really easy, right?

372

: 00:20:51

Like it's, let it go is a very

easy, cause then you can just start

373

: 00:20:54

singing the Frozen song, let it go.

374

: 00:20:56

And

375

: 00:20:57

Christine: very true,

376

: 00:20:59

Alexandra: which is helpful in moments

if you're like, wow, I'm just really

377

: 00:21:01

bogged down by this and you can just

378

: 00:21:03

Christine: and

379

: 00:21:03

Alexandra: singing, you know, Frozen.

380

: 00:21:06

Christine: I think too, bringing

up Frozen and let it go.

381

: 00:21:11

If, if you're finding it difficult

to create a mantra for yourself,

382

: 00:21:15

I always love to just go to social

media or go to the internet and

383

: 00:21:22

sort of see what might resonate

with me or what books I'm reading.

384

: 00:21:27

I think, you know, it, it's a little

intimidating to just sort of like.

385

: 00:21:30

Put that out there and you'll

be inundated with stuff.

386

: 00:21:32

But if there's somebody you really

resonate with on social media, a creator

387

: 00:21:37

you follow or an author or even a speaker

for both Alexandra and I, Simon Sinek

388

: 00:21:44

a lot, and I love seeing his clips on

social media because his approach to.

389

: 00:21:49

A lot, mostly in, in workplace

settings, but just to life

390

: 00:21:54

is really quite beautiful.

391

: 00:21:55

And it's something to keep in

mind if you're not able to create

392

: 00:21:59

one right away and that's okay.

393

: 00:22:02

Alexandra: I know you've shared

a video of Simon Sinek where

394

: 00:22:05

he was talking about Yeah.

395

: 00:22:06

Yeah.

396

: 00:22:06

Was it interviewing or talking

with a guy who created Nike

397

: 00:22:10

and the slogan, just do it.

398

: 00:22:12

So if you want to pause this and

type up your thoughts in the comments

399

: 00:22:16

or on social media, on the post

where we tease this episode, let

400

: 00:22:19

us know what you think of when you

think of Nike's tagline, just do it.

401

: 00:22:23

Because Simon Sinek was talking about.

402

: 00:22:25

Speaking with the owner or creator

of Nike and they were speaking in

403

: 00:22:29

a public audience and the owner

was like, okay, stand up if you

404

: 00:22:32

like to jog or run a couple of

times, you know, just jog around.

405

: 00:22:36

And so a lot of people stood up and

he's like, okay, now if you run three

406

: 00:22:40

times a week and people start to

sit down and if you run, you know.

407

: 00:22:44

How many of our miles a month sit down

and then it got to the point where no

408

: 00:22:48

matter what temperature, rain, sun,

shine, or snow, do you still run?

409

: 00:22:53

And, you know, basically a handful

of people in the audience were

410

: 00:22:56

left standing and he's like,

these, this is the just do it.

411

: 00:22:59

These are the people that

get up and just do it.

412

: 00:23:01

So something as small as two words,

just, or three words, just do it.

413

: 00:23:07

Alexander's great at math.

414

: 00:23:09

Can be a mantra like, right.

415

: 00:23:11

Just do it.

416

: 00:23:12

Get up and do it.

417

: 00:23:13

And, and that was, I think

also an important part of

418

: 00:23:16

sayings and affirmations.

419

: 00:23:17

It's you're in your head.

420

: 00:23:18

You're saying this also

a great way to do it.

421

: 00:23:20

I don't know if we talked about it is.

422

: 00:23:22

Yeah.

423

: 00:23:23

You want to stick it on a post it note on

your mirror, but write it down, write it.

424

: 00:23:27

multiple times a day.

425

: 00:23:29

Write it when it's hard to

write it or say it out loud.

426

: 00:23:33

Think it.

427

: 00:23:33

I think all of those using all five

of your senses to embody those new

428

: 00:23:40

affirmations is really important.

429

: 00:23:42

Yeah, I would say that.

430

: 00:23:46

Christine: you have a conversation with

them about your personal mantras, ask

431

: 00:23:50

them what theirs are, and then maybe

as an exercise, if ever there are

432

: 00:23:53

moments you feel during the day, you

can say to that person, If I'm ever

433

: 00:23:58

feeling overwhelmed or stressed, do

you mind if I just text you my mantra?

434

: 00:24:02

And that's a way for you and I to

both sort of, Refocus on yourself

435

: 00:24:09

and let go and release any or

not release, let go of of what's

436

: 00:24:17

dragging you down just as another,

idea, it's to find a partner in it.

437

: 00:24:22

Alexandra: right.

438

: 00:24:22

And I love that because it's

also spreading that change

439

: 00:24:25

in our internal tapes.

440

: 00:24:27

And I love, I love that because I

think I don't know in today's world.

441

: 00:24:31

Like we share so much

right on social media.

442

: 00:24:33

And even us, we're sitting here sharing

on this podcast, but knowing myself, I

443

: 00:24:38

can get so stuck up in my head of like,

Oh my gosh, what will people think?

444

: 00:24:42

What will they say?

445

: 00:24:43

Did I say that incorrectly?

446

: 00:24:45

Oh, I totally fumbled on that word.

447

: 00:24:46

They're going to catch it.

448

: 00:24:48

And that's where my mind goes.

449

: 00:24:49

And sometimes I have to say,

stop, Hey, we just did it.

450

: 00:24:53

We put it out there.

451

: 00:24:55

And I mean, that in itself, Is kind

of incredible and amazing, and that

452

: 00:24:59

we're doing something like this,

or that we're actually changing how

453

: 00:25:04

we think, which is totally cool.

454

: 00:25:06

Christine: Right.

455

: 00:25:07

Just keep trying, right?

456

: 00:25:08

I think at the end of the

day, what, just keep, going,

457

: 00:25:11

Alexandra: I also think this

is really great that we're

458

: 00:25:14

talking about this, right?

459

: 00:25:15

Like, this is our second episode,

we're starting in February, and if you

460

: 00:25:20

think about the beginning of the year,

at least in the States, everyone's

461

: 00:25:22

like, Oh my gosh, New Year's, new

me, you know, these are my New Year's

462

: 00:25:26

resolutions, and blah blah blah, and

463

: 00:25:29

then it's like They start to

very much quickly plummet.

464

: 00:25:32

Right.

465

: 00:25:33

Christine: Who knows who, how

many are still trying to work

466

: 00:25:35

towards a resolution in February?

467

: 00:25:38

Alexandra: so I love this.

468

: 00:25:39

Right.

469

: 00:25:39

And this is kind of a huge for

anyone listening, this is kind

470

: 00:25:42

of a touch in like touching.

471

: 00:25:45

This is a touch base.

472

: 00:25:46

Christine: Check

473

: 00:25:46

Alexandra: I don't know.

474

: 00:25:47

Thank you.

475

: 00:25:47

I don't even know what I'm saying at this

point, but it's a good check in with,

476

: 00:25:52

Hey, are you sticking to your resolutions?

477

: 00:25:54

Is there a new affirmation you can

write to help you achieve those goals?

478

: 00:25:59

You know, resolutions, particularly if

it seems like a very large one to tackle.

479

: 00:26:04

And I don't know if you guys caught on

our social media, but we did share a

480

: 00:26:10

mantra that we had for the month and

that leads us into the one for February.

481

: 00:26:15

So Christine, do you want to tell our

listeners what our February mantra is?

482

: 00:26:19

Christine: Yes, I would love to.

483

: 00:26:21

So our mantra for the month of

February is we are bigger than

484

: 00:26:24

our doubts, bolder than our fears,

and stronger than our obstacles.

485

: 00:26:29

And I love that it's touching on

three different aspects, right?

486

: 00:26:34

So, yeah, you can look forward.

487

: 00:26:36

Each month we'll be

posting a monthly mantra.

488

: 00:26:39

And hopefully that inspires you to,

you know, embody those for yourself.

489

: 00:26:45

I think if you're not the type of person

who resonates with resolutions, maybe this

490

: 00:26:50

is a nice first step, you know, taking on

a monthly mantra and see what happens.

491

: 00:26:56

Alexandra: Yeah.

492

: 00:26:57

I mean, they're really, it is very hard

to go wrong with them short of, you know,

493

: 00:27:02

putting in your negatives because you

don't want to attract that energy, right?

494

: 00:27:05

You don't want to attract the

negatives and the things you're

495

: 00:27:07

trying to get out of your life.

496

: 00:27:09

But it is a nice little check in moment.

497

: 00:27:12

So we are doing this as much for you guys.

498

: 00:27:15

As it is for us to hold us accountable

for how we're talking to ourselves.

499

: 00:27:21

And because like we've mentioned

before, I mean, in some ways we

500

: 00:27:25

have to be our own best friend.

501

: 00:27:26

And if we do not talk to ourselves the way

we would talk to somebody that we love and

502

: 00:27:30

care about and support, that's really hard

to continue to do that for other people.

503

: 00:27:35

Because, you know, you constantly have

this different dialogue in your head.

504

: 00:27:40

Christine: Yes.

505

: 00:27:41

I know for me sometimes though, it's,

it can be easier to be that way to

506

: 00:27:44

other people and I try not to think

about myself, but none of that.

507

: 00:27:49

No more of that.

508

: 00:27:50

You need to treat yourself just as,

just like you treat those you love most.

509

: 00:27:56

Alexandra: yeah, it makes me think of the

whole self care, self love is not selfish.

510

: 00:28:01

I mean, even something as simple

as that is a, is a good place

511

: 00:28:04

to start, particularly if you're

somebody who gives and gives and

512

: 00:28:07

gives with nothing left for yourself.

513

: 00:28:09

I mean, that would be a very good mantra.

514

: 00:28:11

Like self care is not selfish and

self care can be something like.

515

: 00:28:16

No, I don't feel like going out today.

516

: 00:28:17

I'm going to take this

time to take a nice bath or

517

: 00:28:21

Christine: Mm hmm.

518

: 00:28:22

Alexandra: know telling people no the

one time we will say it's okay to say

519

: 00:28:26

no in an affirmation Because what is it?

520

: 00:28:29

No is no is a noun and a

complete sentence So yeah,

521

: 00:28:34

Christine: Yes.

522

: 00:28:34

No is a full sentence.

523

: 00:28:36

next up, why don't we talk

about some books on the subject.

524

: 00:28:40

Alexandra, do you have any

recommendations for our listeners?

525

: 00:28:44

Alexandra: Do I have

any recommendation guys?

526

: 00:28:47

strap yourselves in you're about

to get like A whole monologue.

527

: 00:28:51

Okay.

528

: 00:28:51

So yes, I actually do have a lot.

529

: 00:28:54

And most of the stuff is I've picked

up, I think I would say in the past year

530

: 00:28:58

and a half, really maybe since mid 2022.

531

: 00:29:01

So I really like anything by Louise Hay.

532

: 00:29:04

And if you don't know who Louise Hay

is, I think she's an awesome woman.

533

: 00:29:07

She has since passed, but she started Hay

House Publishing, I think when she was 69.

534

: 00:29:13

And incredible.

535

: 00:29:15

I love most of Hay House

Publishing's works.

536

: 00:29:18

They publish a lot of metaphysical,

positive psychology type information.

537

: 00:29:25

So definitely check out by them.

538

: 00:29:28

What I will say from their

publishers, I love Louise Hay's work.

539

: 00:29:31

I think I mentioned the book

earlier, The Powers Within You.

540

: 00:29:35

That one I have read.

541

: 00:29:36

Next, I'm working on mirror work, which

is essentially what it sounds like.

542

: 00:29:40

Sitting in front of a mirror,

telling yourself affirmations, which

543

: 00:29:44

I'm sure we'll get into later

544

: 00:29:46

Christine: Very fitting

for the mirror project.

545

: 00:29:48

Hmm.

546

: 00:29:51

Alexandra: I have difficulty doing this.

547

: 00:29:53

So that one's, that one's

going to be interesting to do.

548

: 00:29:56

But she also has, you can heal your life.

549

: 00:29:58

I'm trying to think of the other one.

550

: 00:29:59

She started out with what is fondly

known as the little blue book heal

551

: 00:30:03

your body, something along that line.

552

: 00:30:05

So I like that work.

553

: 00:30:06

She has.

554

: 00:30:08

I've done a couple affirmation decks.

555

: 00:30:09

So love that.

556

: 00:30:10

If you have difficulty coming up with

your own, you're like, I just don't

557

: 00:30:13

know where to start picking up an

affirmation, Oracle deck, great place.

558

: 00:30:17

Cause you can find ones that you resonate

with and go stick it up in your mirror.

559

: 00:30:20

This is what I'm gonna

560

: 00:30:20

Christine: Yes.

561

: 00:30:21

Your mom sent me one earlier

this year and I love It it

562

: 00:30:24

Alexandra: Yes.

563

: 00:30:25

Christine: does help.

564

: 00:30:26

Alexandra: Yes.

565

: 00:30:26

And if any of our listeners are

interested, definitely DM us and we will

566

: 00:30:30

send you the information for some of

those cards so you can pick up and support

567

: 00:30:34

either Hay House or individual artists.

568

: 00:30:37

And,

569

: 00:30:38

Christine: have one question for

570

: 00:30:39

you.

571

: 00:30:39

So these are all great sources, but what

would you say is a good place to start?

572

: 00:30:44

Like if you could give us one

book to start with, what would you

573

: 00:30:47

recommend?

574

: 00:30:48

Alexandra: Christine, that is

575

: 00:30:49

Christine: I know, but we

got to start someplace.

576

: 00:30:53

So where would you say we start?

577

: 00:30:55

Alexandra: Okay.

578

: 00:30:56

I'm gonna totally do an

Alexander thing and give you two.

579

: 00:31:00

So,

580

: 00:31:00

If you're like, this kind of seems

like A bit of hogwash, right?

581

: 00:31:05

To change your thinking.

582

: 00:31:06

How does this work?

583

: 00:31:07

Really?

584

: 00:31:09

This does not seem to

have any of the events.

585

: 00:31:12

The science behind the connection

between our thoughts and the realities

586

: 00:31:17

that we live in a really good book

is Mind to Matter by Dawson Church.

587

: 00:31:21

That one kind of goes really into

the science of how our thoughts

588

: 00:31:24

create our external reality.

589

: 00:31:26

So that's a good one.

590

: 00:31:27

So if you're like, I'm super

skeptical, start there.

591

: 00:31:30

If you're like, yes, I am totally

into this affirmation mantra.

592

: 00:31:34

It's like, give it to me all Louise.

593

: 00:31:36

Hey the powers within you, or you

can heal your life because those

594

: 00:31:39

are great ones to start with.

595

: 00:31:40

couple other ones that I have

read that I've really enjoyed is.

596

: 00:31:43

I do consider myself an empath,

have been since I was a child,

597

: 00:31:47

an empath survival guide by Dr.

598

: 00:31:49

Judith Orloff.

599

: 00:31:50

She is really good a lot of great tools

and tips and she, I think, provides an

600

: 00:31:54

affirmation at the end of each chapter

to help with empaths at work or in social

601

: 00:32:00

situations, as a parent, as a child.

602

: 00:32:02

Really good one.

603

: 00:32:04

And then I briefly mentioned I've

had an eating disorder and I'm

604

: 00:32:07

sure we'll talk about that when

we come up to later in this month.

605

: 00:32:11

I know we've teased it in our reel

reel at the beginning of the month for

606

: 00:32:14

what we're going to be talking about.

607

: 00:32:15

So stay tuned for our episodes

with a guest on body image.

608

: 00:32:21

So excited.

609

: 00:32:22

But a really good book on that is

The Only Diet There Is by Sandra Ray.

610

: 00:32:26

And fun fact, it's not.

611

: 00:32:28

It's less about eating.

612

: 00:32:29

It's a diet of negative thoughts,

which is difficult to do.

613

: 00:32:35

Christine: I know.

614

: 00:32:36

Especially if that's been

feeding you your whole life.

615

: 00:32:39

Alexandra: right.

616

: 00:32:40

You're like, wait, hold on.

617

: 00:32:41

You've just taken away my

main source of sustenance.

618

: 00:32:43

So that's a good one.

619

: 00:32:44

And then on my want to read list, because

let's be honest, there Tons more to do.

620

: 00:32:50

I really want to read Becoming

Supernatural by Joe Desperenza

621

: 00:32:55

and Why WooWoo Works by David R.

622

: 00:32:57

Hamilton.

623

: 00:32:58

And that book, from what I've read

and heard about it, it kind of is

624

: 00:33:04

more along the lines of Mind2Matter.

625

: 00:33:06

It got, it has the science of why it

works, the how the brain interprets that.

626

: 00:33:11

So very cool.

627

: 00:33:12

And then really I would

recommend Any work by Louise Hay.

628

: 00:33:16

I want to check out Brené Browns,

which I think, Christine, you

629

: 00:33:19

have read some work by her, and

630

: 00:33:21

then,

631

: 00:33:22

Christine: her a lot.

632

: 00:33:22

Yes.

633

: 00:33:23

Alexandra: yeah.

634

: 00:33:23

And Mel Robbins.

635

: 00:33:24

She's great to follow on social

media, and I'm trying to think.

636

: 00:33:28

The book I remember from her that I

haven't read is The High Five Habit.

637

: 00:33:32

I think I did,

638

: 00:33:33

a challenge with hay house.

639

: 00:33:34

It was like, raise your

vibrations by Kyle.

640

: 00:33:37

Great.

641

: 00:33:38

Also a good one.

642

: 00:33:39

And I think I had a Mel Robbins

kind of lead in one day and it was

643

: 00:33:43

like the high five habit, right?

644

: 00:33:45

And you're like, okay, what is this?

645

: 00:33:46

And something as simple as waking

up in the morning and high fiving

646

: 00:33:50

yourself in the mirror, right?

647

: 00:33:51

There's a lot of psychology wrapped

up into giving somebody a high five.

648

: 00:33:54

You're like pumped up

and you're like, okay.

649

: 00:33:57

And I have done it before and

I will be totally honest, guys,

650

: 00:34:00

I felt absolutely ridiculous.

651

: 00:34:03

But what is that thought

process right there?

652

: 00:34:05

It's like, okay, you're ridiculous.

653

: 00:34:06

You're so silly.

654

: 00:34:07

What are you doing?

655

: 00:34:08

I mean, immediately the negative, and

then did it for a few days and I was

656

: 00:34:11

like, Oh, I felt, Oh, okay, this is cool.

657

: 00:34:14

So

658

: 00:34:14

Christine: Yeah.

659

: 00:34:15

Alexandra: this is a great

reminder to start doing

660

: 00:34:18

Christine: Okay.

661

: 00:34:19

Wow.

662

: 00:34:20

And I actually just had another thought

just when you were listing off a couple

663

: 00:34:25

of other authors to consider reading, I

also thought it might be time for you to

664

: 00:34:30

sort of reevaluate who you're following

on your social media and unfollow anybody

665

: 00:34:35

who isn't giving you what you need right

now and following Brene Brown or Mel

666

: 00:34:41

Robbins or anybody else, Simon Sinek,

who you think you connect with and guys.

667

: 00:34:47

will help lift you up when

you need some assistance.

668

: 00:34:52

Alexandra: Yeah, and I think somebody

that I have definitely shared with you was

669

: 00:34:57

Paul Scanlon, he's from the UK and he's,

his channel's got some really good stuff.

670

: 00:35:02

Um, very

671

: 00:35:03

positive.

672

: 00:35:04

Yeah.

673

: 00:35:05

And Well, I honestly, before we get

much further, I do want to say music,

674

: 00:35:10

think about the music that we listen to.

675

: 00:35:12

I mean, that can really put

you in a different headspace.

676

: 00:35:16

So if you're trying to change

something in your life, look at

677

: 00:35:19

the music you're listening to.

678

: 00:35:21

Does that support that change

or is it counteractive?

679

: 00:35:24

Christine: that's a really good point.

680

: 00:35:27

I'll have to think on that.

681

: 00:35:28

What music am I listening to?

682

: 00:35:30

a lot of Christmas music.

683

: 00:35:34

But anyway.

684

: 00:35:36

All right.

685

: 00:35:36

Well, on that note, I want to thank

you all so much for joining us.

686

: 00:35:40

We hope that you found this helpful,

and we'll start to think more about

687

: 00:35:44

what's your current inner dialogue,

what are your current mantras,

688

: 00:35:47

and consider creating new ones.

689

: 00:35:49

We would love to hear what your old

and new mantras are over on Instagram.

690

: 00:35:54

And as we mentioned earlier in the

episode, at the start of each month,

691

: 00:35:57

we'll be posting a shared mantra.

692

: 00:35:59

And so this month we chose,

I am bigger than my doubts.

693

: 00:36:03

Bolder than my fears, and

stronger than my obstacles.

694

: 00:36:06

We hope you'll tune in next week

as we talk about love and dating.

695

: 00:36:10

Until then, talk soon.

696

: 00:36:12

Enjoying the conversations we're

having and the topics we're discussing?

697

: 00:36:15

Consider supporting us through

our Buy Us a Coffee page.

698

: 00:36:18

We greatly appreciate any help in

creating this podcast we love so much.

699

: 00:36:22

Link in our show notes and link tree.

700

: 00:36:24

Before we end, don't forget to

like, subscribe, or follow us on

701

: 00:36:28

your preferred listening platform.

702

: 00:36:29

And we'll catch you next time.